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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed that DH has the day off too?

44 replies

NickNacks · 22/05/2012 13:13

Quite prepared to be told that I am BU!

We go on holiday next week and I have booked the day before we go off work and I plan to pack, clean the house, lay out travelling clothes etc. I am a childminder and so although I am home alot- its work and I never get child free time to myself. My older children will be at school and I have arranged for someone to have my very demanding toddler for the day also. I'm very much looking forward to an empty house to get nice an organised for our trip.

DH mentioned a few weeks back that he wished he had booked that day off too (it's a Monday so he feels it's annoying to go back after the weekend for one day) I said I'd prefer him not too as Ill get much more done without him under my feet. He agreed.

Well this morning he has called up to say he's been given the day off as a RDIL for some overtime he did at the weekend. I'm so annoyed!

He's promised to help or go out for the day (hell play golf), whichever I choose but I don't want him to 'help' as it will be 'man help' ;) and I don't want him to play gold as I'll feel resentful that his child free time is having fun whilst mine is packing. I want him to be at work!!

Why the hell do I feel so irrationally annoyed that he has the day off??? AIBU?

OP posts:

seeingstars · 22/05/2012 13:39

I'm with you sister. ROFL at man help.

MarysBeard · 22/05/2012 13:39

Personally I'd be delighted if DH was off with me for a day without kids, even if we were packing and cleaning. I get more done when he's there as we motivate one another. If I was there all day on my own I'd be procrastinating then would end up packing at midnight.

mumto2andnomore · 22/05/2012 13:43

I can't see the problem surely 2 of you will get things done a lot quicker than 1 ? I would be pleased

essexgirl31 · 22/05/2012 14:08

YANBU! I feel your pain.

I love my DH but he really is a hinderance when involved with holiday packing. I give him jobs that won't annoy me if done wrong.

Good luck!

OTheHugeManatee · 22/05/2012 14:28

The only holiday packing job DP is absolutely not allowed to help with is packing the car. He always manages to sort of fluff up the luggage so it won't fit in, whereas I can pack 4,000 cubic litres of useless crap that's mostly mine anyway luggage into a 2,000 litre boot and still have room for the kitchen sink

I'm not sure this is a talent really, but it's my talent.

Shmumty · 22/05/2012 14:43

Let him put a washing in, tidy the house, hoover, hang the washing up, give the bathroom a good clean, change all the beds and do the ironing whilst you pack the holiday stuff in peace. Then, having saved a few hours, go for a nice lazy lunch together.

mumeeee · 22/05/2012 22:01

I don't bother with changing the beds seems a waste of time and effort to me. Does it matter I'd he takes short cuts? DH is actually much better at packing the car than I am so I let him get on with it. I can see why you are going to lay out the traveling clothes this time but surely if you explained this to the 8.5 year old they could do this themselves.

squeakytoy · 22/05/2012 22:05

YANBU at all.. I would feel exactly the same!

Make a list of chores for him to do, or let him go to golf, but with the promise that he takes you all out for dinner or brings home a takeaway so you dont need to cook.

Could he wash the windows, clean the car, put the clean bedding on the beds..

MarySA · 22/05/2012 22:12

My DH's favourite trick is to pack the car full and the very thing you must have for the journey will be at the bottom of everything. And then he is in a fury at having to take things out the boot. So now I even have to make sure what goes where.

BackforGood · 22/05/2012 22:23

YABU. It's daft to be a martyr, creating a rod for your own back and all that.
You say you have a lot to do (can't understand the need to clean, in order to go away, but, each to their own), and now you have the offer of your dh doing half of it.
I was going to say exactly the same as someone else did upthread - share the load then go out for lunch together.

TheSecondComing · 22/05/2012 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McHappyPants2012 · 22/05/2012 22:27

2 hands are better than 1

Snorbs · 22/05/2012 22:30

What a selfish arse that man is, what with him putting himself out so he can get some time off work to spend with his wife, in their home, getting things ready for their holiday. How very dare he!

And to think he'll then do some of those things not exactly the same way as his wife would!!!

Well, he's obviously an utter bastard and it's not worth pissing in his mouth if his tongue were on fire. You tell him, OP. You tell him that he's only allowed in your house under sufferance and only if he promises not to get on the sofa or use any of the towels. And don't forget to rub his nose in it if he does make a mess.

Nobhead · 22/05/2012 22:50

YANBU- what a cunt! . I would be a bit miffed though, much easier to get shit done without my DH there. Send him to golf or out for the day- I would much rather my DH got out from under my feet rather than at home and us falling out because he has to ask me where things are every 10 seconds and I lose my rag after the 50th time he has asked me.

LadyWidmerpool · 23/05/2012 02:44

Well put snorbs.

BiddyPop · 23/05/2012 10:21

I'd make him change sheets and towels to come home to clean ones, hoover, clean loos and pack his own stuff. Then send him off to get things like suncream (clear list of things) to get some quiet time at home, and ask that he sort dinner.

My own DH is a pain for doing the same. (I work in an office though). I very rarely take days off, and when he hears I am planning one he often does as well, so we are supposed to be up and out early in the mornings "doing something" - when I take a day to rest, relax, sleep, have a coffee and a bun not climb a mountain....

I am not telling anyone that I have booked this coming Friday off (although I'd prefer a day DD is going to creche for afternoon rather than the one she comes home after school) - I am going to sew for the morning and go out before school ends for a nice long solitary walk. I am too burnt out to do anything other than "me stuff" and I can't afford a facial or massage (which I'd love) as i have to pay for the rest of our hols too. So woe betide AN|Y|ONE who interferes with it!!

mumeeee · 23/05/2012 16:32

I don't understand why some of you think you are the only ones who can do things right. Why don't you let your DPs get on with things their way. Sometimes DH and I have a day off together. But we don't always spend the time together.

Original poster

NickNacks · 23/05/2012 20:01

I don't have a problem with him helping if he DID just get on with things but he doesn't! 50 questions later and its generally done.

Also I'm not saying he isn't great at other things- he is great at food shopping for example, but packing and organising is my strength and he'll disrupt my day!

I love him very much (and he me) and we will all have a wonderful holiday but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy a day without him around, and be annoyed when he gatecrashes my day off

OP posts:

DumSpiroSpero · 23/05/2012 21:20

YANBU - I'd be seriously hacked off.

Luckily for me I'm working the day before we go on holiday and DH will be at home (hopefully) doing all the prep and packing!

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