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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my dds to grow up too fast?

42 replies

loopyluna · 21/05/2012 11:21

My youngest is 6 and loves playing tea parties, dress ups, babies etc. She can read very well but loves me to read her a story book at bedtime. She only watches Cbeebies and is still into Disney princess/ Barbie princess dvds.

I've had a couple of comments that she's very young for her age. In comparison, my 2 year old niece is into reading Roald Dahl and has outgrown playing with Barbies apparently.

My 10 year old DD is academically "gifted" but still loves soft play (luckily she's small for her age), imaginative play and drawing. She is perplexed that some of her friends are into make up, high heels and Twilight!

I don't want them to be the odd, babyish kids in the playground but also love their innocence and don't want to push them into acting like teenagers. They are both very bright and sporty and seem to have plenty friends but my Dsis (and poss my DM) seem to think I should get them to be a bit more grown up.

Reality check?

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 21/05/2012 11:24

It will all change overnight.....so anytime soon

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2012 11:25

It is frightening loopy. I have DSs of 10 and 12. The girls in Year 8 look so grown up, they could easily pass for 20 when they are all dressed up. The boys in comparison look so much younger.

There is no hurry but it seems that a mixture of peer pressure and maturing earlier it's a bit unavoidable once they get to High School. Sad

sunnydelight · 21/05/2012 11:26

YANBU. One of the things I really like about living in Australia is that kids seem to be kids for longer.

didoreth · 21/05/2012 11:27

They don't sound at all odd to me - they sound normal.

DD was still playing with Barbies when she started secondary school - she never had any problems socially, was always extremely popular.

How sad if adults are trying to push 10 year olds into an interest in makeup, high heels and Twilight!

Pixieonthemoor · 21/05/2012 11:28

Thank goodness for our 'little' girls!! Mine is 7 and still 'young' and I am thrilled. I will probably get flamed for saying it but I find it frankly revolting when little girls are into make up, heels, boys etc. There is plenty of time for all that (ie the rest of their lives) and they are little for such a short time. The premature sexualisation of girls is a real problem. Ignore your dsis and DM or tell them to bog off. You and your dd have it right - its the rest of society with the pressure to grow up too early that have it wrong.

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 21/05/2012 11:29

They sound completely normal to me... and the parents of that 2yo sound like stonking liars.

AdventuresWithVoles · 21/05/2012 11:31

you know yanbu...

I'd be rather mortified if my 10yo DD (not far off 11, now) was into Twilight.
I think it's bad enough she's nearly finished the Harry Potter series. We let DC watch a bit of Twilight a few months ago; DH & I couldn't stop taking the P out of it, although DC clearly riveted.

They don't sound young for their age, at all. I would have thought growing up is a mix, normally. DD likes soft play places & role play games with dolls. She also has her own phone & a stash of own make-up (though can't remember when she last wore any). She's banned from Darren Shan books, high heels & sometimes still asks me to read her stories at bedtime. Just a great big mix.

BigBoPeep · 21/05/2012 11:38

YANBU, and don't worry about them, they will probably keep their barbies quiet at school/in front of friends but get them out at home!

I once went on a camp school thing when I was 13 - I got partnered with this girl I didn't know for orienteering. It turned out we both really loved ponies, and spent the few hours of orienteering 'galloping' around the countryside with wild abandon pretending to be ponies. Once it was over, we never spoke of it again and went back to our previous social groups Grin

LeQueen · 21/05/2012 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imnotmymum · 21/05/2012 11:44

YANBU and I think a lot of kids are like that anyway. I guess it depends where you live and what they in to but thinking on my DDs friends they sound just like yours.

cestlavielife · 21/05/2012 11:44

your dds will have years and years to be grown up - with all the repsonsibilities that entails.
so leave them alone.

lostInMyHouse · 21/05/2012 11:45

I sometime worry about my eldest as she still in big dresses and Cbeebies, though she's started liking the horrible histories on cbbc.

Other DC her age and slightly older are dressed a lot 'older' - well DH described it after one birthday party as tarts/slutty, into music, apparently with boy friends Hmm, often with makeup.

Then I realize she 6 - and the other DC that are odd. From what I've seen though it often encouraged by the parents or they have much older siblings.

I have notice that these same parents are often the ones that baby theses girls in other ways - not allowing them to go into school by themselves as they are supposed to or make age appropriate choices etc... .

elliejjtiny · 21/05/2012 11:47

I think it's lovely that your girls are still "young". I have boys but my nearly 6 year old is still into thomas the tank engine, postman pat, playing trains and watching cbeebies.

The 2 year old who likes roald dahl and has grown out of playing with barbies is weird imo

lostInMyHouse · 21/05/2012 11:47

I also remember my mum trying to make me more 'grown up' in this way and I definitely remember her buying me makeup.

I like DD1 was very serious and responsible so was grown up is some ways but not that way - if that makes sense - and it made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

lolajane2009 · 21/05/2012 11:48

yanbu, my son is only 8mths but i definately want him to cherish his childhood as mine was crappy.

oldraver · 21/05/2012 11:49

My DS sounds like the boy equivalent... he doesn't have a DS or other games consoles others in his class have, is happy to play with Duplo/Lego and other toys considered 'young' (still loves all his Octonauts stuff). Tidying this weekend he saw his kitchen stuff I had put away and wanted it back out again.

Original poster
loopyluna · 21/05/2012 11:51

I knew I wasn't but sometimes you just need a reality check. I thought you might all accuse me of not preparing my DDs for the real world etc etc.

I don't believe many of my sister's tales of her 2 year old's incredible maturity tbh.

I do worry as I live abroad in a land of No School Uniforms and the have seen tremendous peer pressure at senior school over wearing the right brands, having the coolest shoes, the right bag and a stack of make-up, highlights (yes), nails etc. DS is 12 and bad enough with his pretentious hair style and trendy trainers! I think there's a fine line between keeping them age appropriate and protecting them from bullying.

OP posts:
halcyondays · 21/05/2012 11:51

She sounds totally normal for a 6 year old. A 2 year old reading Roald Dahl and who has outgrown BarbiesHmm I'd take that with a very large pinch of salt.

imnotmymum · 21/05/2012 11:52

In fact why would you want your 2 year old to outgrow Barbies etc. that is UR!

PandaWatch · 21/05/2012 11:55

BigBoPeep I was probably doing exactly the same at that age! Grin

I do sometimes wonder whether all these little girls (and boys) who grow up so quickly are doing so at their own pace or because they're being pushed along by their parents.

FWIW I am also still (at 30) a massive disney fan!

sweetkitty · 21/05/2012 12:00

I feel the same my DDs are almost 8 and 61/2. DD1 has just outgrown cbeebies for CBBC but she will still watch it when the wee ones are.

We had all the Little People and Happyland stuff out last week and they all had a great time playing with it, we also have a 3 and 2 year old.

In contrast I have a friend who had 2 DDs of 7 and 4 1/2, she was saying she's been trying to throw out the younger ones Peppa Pig toys for a while as she is too old for them now but her DD won't let her. They had TVs at 2, DSs at 3 and the older one has just got her first mobile! It's as if she wants to rush then through their childhood as fast as she can.

anothermadamebutterfly · 21/05/2012 12:02

Well, it is lovely if children can be children, but
Lostinmy:
"DH described it after one birthday party as tarts/slutty, into music, apparently with boy friends, often with makeup." Hmm I dunno - I would be more worried about a grown-up who thought it is OK to call little girls 'slutty' than about whether or not little girls had make-up on or liked music.

LauraShigihara · 21/05/2012 12:03

My PLB is only eight and acts like it. He has no interest in anything teenagery or adult. He has never watched any sort of telly talent show or heard of any popular bands. His favourite music at the moment is the Muppet Movie soundtrack, he dresses in jeans and tshirts and loves reading The Beano, amongst other stuff.

I think he is lovely and I wouldn't want him to be any other way. Some of the other children in his class are horribly sophisticated beside him.

randomfennel · 21/05/2012 12:03

It sounds quite normal to me. My 12, 10 and 8yo dds are not at all into make up, Twilight, high heels or clothes. They all have lots of friends and I think many 10-12 year olds will actually play imaginatively, left to themselves, though they might not admit it at school.

elizaregina · 21/05/2012 12:04

YANBU they sound delightful!!!! I would be thrilled if i can get my daughter to stay like this until your girls ages.
The little girl next door, gets her nails done with mum every week, into x factor ( my DD doesnt watch, is in bed), wants to be famous and rich etc...( she is 5), I dont even want my daughter to understand these concepts yet! The boy plays 21 year old comp games and is only 8!

tHEY have a whole lifetime with which to get with it....childhood only once..

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