to not want my dds to grow up too fast?

[loopyluna]

My youngest is 6 and loves playing tea parties, dress ups, babies etc. She can read very well but loves me to read her a story book at bedtime. She only watches Cbeebies and is still into Disney princess/ Barbie princess dvds.

I've had a couple of comments that she's very young for her age. In comparison, my 2 year old niece is into reading Roald Dahl and has outgrown playing with Barbies apparently.

My 10 year old DD is academically "gifted" but still loves soft play (luckily she's small for her age), imaginative play and drawing. She is perplexed that some of her friends are into make up, high heels and Twilight!

I don't want them to be the odd, babyish kids in the playground but also love their innocence and don't want to push them into acting like teenagers. They are both very bright and sporty and seem to have plenty friends but my Dsis (and poss my DM) seem to think I should get them to be a bit more grown up.

Reality check?

DD1 turned 13 this morning. She was a bit sad, and I asked what was wrong. She said she didn't want to grow up, and that she had been leaving her window open at night (which is true) to make sure at Peter Pan could get in, if he was flying by.

I have been tear-y about this all morning.

In contrast I have a friend who had 2 DDs of 7 and 4 1/2, she was saying she's been trying to throw out the younger ones Peppa Pig toys for a while as she is too old for them now but her DD won't let her. They had TVs at 2, DSs at 3 and the older one has just got her first mobile! It's as if she wants to rush then through their childhood as fast as she can.

So sad! DD2 loves Peppa Pig (doesn't have any toys but certainly wouldn't consider herself too old for them if she did!)
I admit trying to get rid of our massive hoard of Happyland last year but DS (the trendy 12 year old) had a total meltdown and had a big Tidy Up to make space for it all!

anothermadamebutterfly

He couldn't think of another way of putting it - he tried skirting round it trying to find another set of words but really it described it exactly.

Boob tubes, very skimpy tops, skirts so short you can see pants or hot pants slap on make-up - lots of gyrating hip dancing, very high heels. Its very inappropriate clothing IMO on such young girls - as it is kind of is sexualising them.

We both know it innocent fun of the girls part ffs - but I think the parents could have toned it down.

My 7 yr dd still adores her baby dolls and still loves peppa pig BUT I'm not allowed to tell anyone and if her friends ask her why she still has peppa pig toys she tells them she keeps them for her baby cousins to play with. She was quite upset when her school 'friends' told her when she was not quite 6 she was a baby for liking the things we did.

We had a long chat about NO she wasn't a baby, and if she liked to play certain things it was up to her and no one else.

Thankfully her best friends outside of school are as 7 year olds should be. My mil keeps suggesting we get rid of her toys, but that is anther thread altogether.

What s funny my 10 yr old neice makes out she's too old for toys but loves to play my dds toys.

Yes it is sad telling a 4yo she's too old for Peppa Pig.

The same friends DDs are TVaholics as well, it is on constant even when noone watching or they go upstairs put a DVD on then go mad if the Mum turns off the downstairs TV, the Mum said the first thing her DD1 does when she comes in is turn on the TV and hide the remote so it can't be turned off.

I think she thinks I odd when I say mine go off and play.

YANBU at all. Only the other day, my youngest dd was telling me about some girls in her class (aged 7) who bring handbags into school (a different one for every day of the week apparently) and have posters in their bedrooms of "sexy men" (New Direction). Yuck

A 2 year old will NOT be reading roald Dahl! I think maybe the mummy has been reading 'Matilda'! YANBU, I was still playing with sindy (Barbie was outlawed in our house!) When I went to secondary school

YANBU to not want them to grow up "too fast" - the definition of "too fast" is that it is faster than it should be.

But who gets to define what "too fast" is?

YANBU.
My 12 year old DD is in year 8, and many of the girls in her year straighten their hair and have a full face of makeup each day.Some even wear tons of self tanner to school which really saddens me. DD would sooner die than apply tan or waste precious lounging about time on fussing in front of a mirror! She and a few others in her group of friends still prefer Paperchase to clothes shopping, and would never consider screaming over boybands etc. She still likes audiobooks of Just William and Lemony Snicket on in the car rather than The Wanted's latest :)
(Although I do admit, she has a penchant for reading utter trash mags whilst browsing in the supermarket - many a time I have caught her giggling over some sordid story in Take a Break et al!)
There is so much time ahead for girls to transition to being women, I am all for letting them stay children for as long as possible. You only have to look at some of the fashions aimed at young girls (eg mini bandeau tops in New Look at the min, gross) to know that they face pressure to be grown up from the outside world. Parents should try to counter this as much as they can, I feel.

I remember having crushes on boys (or grown men!) from being about 7 or 8. Doesn't mean I was suddenly grown up. Kids are interested in all sorts of things, as are adults. I like a lot of kids stuff, it doesn't mean I'm not a responsible adult. I haven't experienced any more pressure on my daughters whatsoever to grow up fast than I experienced as a kid, in fact considerably less so.

I think most people have an extended youth these days and actually grow up slower, I felt like a big kid until I had DD1 at 29. People leave home later, get jobs later, get married later, buy houses later, so acquire many responsibilities much later than earlier generations who would have assumed these at 14 or 16.

Only the other day, my youngest dd was telling me about some girls in her class (aged 7) who bring handbags into school (a different one for every day of the week apparently) and have posters in their bedrooms of "sexy men" (New Direction). Yuck

I had a poster of George Michael in my bedroom when I was 8.

Does anybody think it is more of a problem for girls? I ask because I have a 9 year old DS who is really into his clothes, music and doing his hair (he still loves drawing, playing outside, football and cricket). But, I feel I encourage him in way I wont be happy to do if DD is the same way at his age (she is only 1 and a tiny scrumptious baby). I feel I am guilty of massive double standards, but a boy dressing older is just wearing a slightly different style of the same clothes (t shirts, jeans, chinos, jumpers etc) whereas with a girl, older clothes and grooming often look inappropriate. In a boy I think it is quite sweet, but in a girl it does seem to me to be premature sexualisation. I always thought I would bring up my DC the same regardless of gender, but am already worrying about being guilty of inverse sexism.

Yes, YY there is sexism and double standards.

at fake tan!

Interesting post about double standards - I hadn't thought of that - but it is true

I suppose it is all down to one thing: commerce

This recent "pre-teen" branding is vile

DD still enjoys "taking orders" and "playing restaurants" using her play kitchen at 8.5 yrs!

MarysBeard I had a poster of George Michael in my bedroom when I was 8
Yuck to that too :)