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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want friend to buy the house I grew up in

51 replies

Whirliwig72 · 20/05/2012 22:31

An old family friend of mine has their London house up for sale and is planning to move to the sticks. As a child I lived in remote but beautiful part of the country in a grade 2 listed farm house that was from an outsiders point if view pretty idyllic. Anyway said friend has been dropping big hints about contacting the current house owner to make an offer and with the equity they have in their London place the offer could be extremely tempting.

I know nothing has been agreed but aibu to not want my childhood memories to become distorted by this friend living there? I can just imagine seeing photos on Facebook of their family enjoying 'my house' and it makes me feel slightly sick!

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 20/05/2012 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 20/05/2012 22:35

oh i would HATE it. nothing you can do but i feel sick on your behalf... would it be SO wrong to just say 'oh PLEASE DON'T'.

CrumpettyTree · 20/05/2012 22:35

Neither of you are being unreasonable. She can live where she likes and you are entitled to feel how you do about the idea of it.

thenightsky · 20/05/2012 22:35

I'm in a similar position. My parents' house sold last month (dad died, mum went to sheltered housing). It had been our family home since 1961.

CrumpettyTree · 20/05/2012 22:36

All you can do is hope the person living there at the mo doesn't want to move, or if she does then either get used to it or try to avoid visiting and maybe set FB to not show many of her updates.

ThatVikRinA22 · 20/05/2012 22:36

yanbu.

i was gutted when my childhood home was sold and remodelled.....even more gutted that i could not buy it (too impractical, too far away from where i work now,) but i just cant even bring myself to drive past it anymore and i would hate it if someone i knew lived there!

pjani · 20/05/2012 22:39

Whereas I think it would be quite nice to retain a connection to the place? I really don't understand why it would be a bad thing. For me YABU.

Tizzylizzy · 20/05/2012 22:40

How did she find out about the house? Seems v weird to me! Of a the houses in all the world...

sarahseashell · 20/05/2012 22:41

YANBU

Original poster
Whirliwig72 · 20/05/2012 22:41

Thank you - It's crazy really as its not our place now and will never be again and I'm cool with the current owners being there it's just the idea of a friend having it that bothers me! The really screwed up thing is that I don't think I'd like to live there now : miles from anywhere, crap Internet access, no ethic diversity BUT at the same time it's part of my past and very precious to me Envy

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 20/05/2012 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AKissIsNotAContract · 20/05/2012 22:43

YABU, what could she possibly do in the house that would taint your memories?

AllYoursBabooshka · 20/05/2012 22:44

YA defiantly NBU!

I shudder at the thought. Tell her you think it's creepy. :o

Original poster
Whirliwig72 · 20/05/2012 22:44

I feel for you night sky Sad

She is a he and visited and stayed at the house a number of times when we lived there.

OP posts:
Tizzylizzy · 20/05/2012 22:45

How does she know about it?!

AKissIsNotAContract · 20/05/2012 22:46

Why is it creepy? Is there something I'm just not getting here?

AllYoursBabooshka · 20/05/2012 22:46

Oh, Oh!

Make up a story about a malevolent spirit that haunts the house. One that curdles milk and hides your socks.

Binkybix · 20/05/2012 22:46

YANBU to feel that way, but you would be to say something about it unless she's a really, really close friend.

Out of interest, I assume she's a childhood friend who used to play there to have got the idea in the first place? It is a bit odd....

BonnieBumble · 20/05/2012 22:47

YABU and I disagree with the suggestion to ask her not to buy it. If someone said that to me I would think they were slightly unhinged and had buried a body under the patio or something.

LittleTyga · 20/05/2012 22:47

I would love it if one of my friends bought our family home because then I could go back and visit it - don't you like your 'friend'?

trixymalixy · 20/05/2012 22:48

Urgh, YABU and YANBU at the same time!! I would hate it , but you really can't ask a friend not to buy the house.

McHappyPants2012 · 20/05/2012 22:49

igwym

i was 2 month old when my parent moved in the house. I would hate to see pictures of another family having christmas celebrations or any thing else

serin · 20/05/2012 22:51

Marry him?

Binkybix · 20/05/2012 22:51

Sorry, just saw you saying how they know about it...

PacificDogwood · 20/05/2012 22:51

YANBU.

My gran is 99 years old and still lives in the house that her FIL built in 1907.
The house is huge, halftimbered and beautiful although was (badly) converted into 3 flats, has pumbing/heating/electrics from when it was built.
Apart from a garden there is no land with it. The upkeep of the place is expensive and timeconsuming and stressful to my parents.
Neither my DB nor I will ever live there, but it is more of a family home to us than the house we mainly grew up in as we moved all over the world a lot when we were kids.

Whenever my gran passes away, the house will be sold. I will be gutted although I think it is the right/only thing to do.

So, huge sympathies to you, Whirligig. If your friend is a goog friend maybe you could just say "please don't"? Nothing you can do though, really.

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