To worry that I might die and leave my children?

[Herbsmum]

Is this a normal worry? I have no reason to think like this but I am often consumed with the the thought of my children without a mum.
I am not sure if I am just being hyper anxious and should seek help or this is a normal mummy anxiety,( or us it a premonition, my worst fear)
Any talking sense would help.

depends how often this fear and thought consumes your every day thoughts? does it effect where you might take them? do you struggle to leave them at school or childminder etc?

Well, some day, sure, you will.

But most likely they will be grown.

If it is affecting your life, see your GP about your anxiety.

If it's a fleeting, occasional thought, let it go.

I think this way sometimes, what if I don't see DD grow up, see her get married etc etc, it scares the bejayzus out of me!

But its fleeting :)

i sometimes have these thoughts and i get very upset. though at the moment i am anxious over other things so negative thoughts pop up more but recognising that is good

are you having other worries

Normal to me. I have to stop myself from thinking about this as I just can't bear to imagine them having to live without me whilst they are still so young.
There's nothing I want more than to see them grown up so they could cope without me.
It's such a horrid thought isn't it?

I do. I lost a parent when I was young. I make sure DH knows how to do everything with DS just in case.

I don't have this. My biggest fear is that one of the DCs die before me.

I'd much rather die before them than the alternative.

I think this too, horrible but pretty normal.

Agreed Reindeer that's what I worry about most.

Oh goodness. That is so reassuring. No it isnt an overwhelming thought.
Yes my dad died 20 years ago.
Have had my children in my 30's.
I often am so worried for them. It really is such a huge responsibility at times.
I just want to make sure they ar ok in life and worry that I am a little bit nuts with it!

On a practical note, have you sorted out what will happen if you/your dh/both do die (wills, insurance, guardianship etc)? Because if you haven't then yes it is reasonable to worry and you need to get it done.

I do worry but not to the point of it dominating my life. And, like Fouryolks, I have always insisted my dh is v. hands on with the boys and involved in their daily lives as much as possible, just in case.

I feel this way too. It started after I got quite ill 18 months ago and even though I'm fine now, I can't kick the health anxiety.

If it's becoming all-consuming then you need to talk to your GP (I am getting some help now and it is improving). If it is an occasional thought then just put it out of your head.

YANBU - normal mum fear

I read recently something along the lines that dread is imagining the worst possible scenario and then convincing yourself it'll come true. I try to keep anxiety under control by thinking what's the worst case scenario, best case scenario and most likely scenario. And enough sleep helps too

Yes, it's normal, unless you are so stressed that you're having panic attacks and letting the fear run your life.
It's what made me make a will, talk to relatives about consequences, set up finances to care for my children if I did die. The
But keep the worry as that, not as an all-consuming terror.

Thanks. Not all consuming. It has helped so much that it's not just me.
The mumsnet thing is so good at times.
Just to normalise those mad thoughts. Not sure I am being a bit ott with things at moment but will give it a bit of time.

Fallen.. You made a will etc and didn't come to a sticky end? That is so reassuring!!!,!!
I really worry that making such plans may hasten my end.

Please please please make a will and find someone to take care of your children just in case.

It won't make anything bad happen, I promise. And it will give you peace of mind.

I think about this often too, but push it to the back of my mind. I think it's only natural.

No.it just means that when you die you don't have to come back as a poltergeist trying to sort out all the shit you didn't get round to.
I'm well past 50, as is DH. No sticky ends in sight either. No near-misses.

Tee is right, first and second post, she talks sense.

I too have this fear now and again, I think all mums feel it at some point. Prepare for the future, as you would with any other issue, then file it away.

Enjoy the here and now Herbs

x

You'll find I always talk sense.

I have this fear as well. It is fleeting although it affects what I do. For instance, since having kids I'm afraid of cycling on the road. I don't think anyone could change my mind on that one.

Yes. So much sense.
It is reassuring that it isn't just me.
I worry that making plans is bad luck, however I know I must get over myself.
I just want to see them into independence.

I think about it, probably once a week it comes into my head. Think it's quite normal