To want Richmond upon Thames social services to justify their appalling treatment of my dying Mum

[Islandlady]

My lovely Mum died last night at 8pm, I got a call on Friday from my Dad to say come over (I live on the IOW) as Mum was dying - got there at 5pm.

My dad was in a state and frantic, Mum was at home and reliant on Nursing Staff and Carers coming in, she was supposed to have someone coming in at 3pm to wash her and change her (doubly incontenent poor old soul), no-one turned up, when dad rang the agency he was told that a social worker from RUT had told the agency that Mum was already dead so all support including Nursing, caring and a delivery of drugs that was due was immediatly cancelled, my dad had been on the phone for an hour trying to sort it out.

Why did some bloody SS take it upon herself to do this without at least checking her information was correct.

A phone call will be made on Monday but I doubt that we will find out the truth, someone will be too busy protecting their own arse to admit they havent protected an elderly dying lady.

I would like to take this further but will be led by what my dad wants

that's awful - if you Dad will be ok with complain. Demand to speak to the DASS (Director of adult social services) and speak to your parents' ward councillor and the member responsible for adult social care services.

Put it in writing too - social services have to have a formal complaints system and their will be a complaints manager.

I'm so sorry to hear this. :(

It really is appauling that this happened, and should certainly not have been allowed to happen.

My thought are with you all.

I'm very sorry to hear about your Mum and that it was made more difficult for you.

thought thoughts. I have more than one, and they are all with you.

i would take it further if i were you, obviously it won't make any difference to your mum or dad's feelings now but you would perhaps get some comfort from knowing it couldn't happen to anyone else

I'm so sorry about your mum. :(

I think you'd be well within your rights to complain, you just need to work out whether that's the best thing for you and your dad to do right now.

Are thoughts go out to you and your family at this difficult time, what an absolute disgrace you have all had to endure.

How terrible. Really disgusting treatment. I would definitely complain. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. I feel so sad reading this.

I am so sorry to hear this.

When you feel ready/ if you want to, the Director of RUT is called Cathy Kerr-probably go direct to her or as others have said local Councillor. I wouldn't bother with the normal trickle up slowly complaints process-would probably be too traumatic.

xx

sorry-yes as you say be led by your dad xx

island am so sorry to hear this..agree with others get info on ways you can proceed with official complaint, badger up support from ward councillors, mp etc and hopefully someones arse will be booted out for not doing their job properly

thinking of you all xxx

I'm so sorry
By all means take it further, they must know about cock-ups like this, but as others agree, be led by your dad.

My thoughts are with your family x

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'd just say, don't feel under pressure to complain right now. Deal with the immediate impact of losing your mum - you can come back to this in a few months time. Make some notes now if you want to make sure you capture how hurt you all are by these events. What happened is appalling and inexcusable.

Oh, that's awful

I am sorry you have lost your Mum and that this happened.

You are being very reasonable, being led by what your Dad wants, and handling your rightful anger very well.

I hope you get some kind of apology at least.

My Dad has had to fight for my Mum since she was diagnosed with a grade 4 brain tumour in March he has had appalling treatment from a lot of agencies (but thats how the elderly in this country are treated) he has been a hero and even the Dr at the hospital told me he was in awe of the way my dad fought and argued with people to get the best care for the Lady he was married to for 60 years.

I intend to gather information about complaints procedures etc so that Dad can make up his own mind about complaining - he has enough at the moment to contend with, but he has me and my three Sisters right by his side.

Thanks for all your kind support

So sorry for your loss.

Hope you can support your dad now, as you said he has enough at the moment to contend with.

Complaining won't bring your mum back - it can wait.

You are absolutely right to want to take this further. Do what you need to do now to get through the first few days, but as other posters have said, take notes - save this thread if you can't bear to think/write more.

A lot of buck passing goes on in social services - their priority will be to demonstrate they are beyond reproach. Get your facts clear, your timings right - and you can make it difficult for them.

I am very sorry to hear of your loss love x

Hi Lady. What a hell of a time for you - you must be reeling.

Do what you need to in terms of the agency, but just now, focus on yourself and Dad. You must be so cross! I would be too.

I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you x

I am so sorry. Berkshire did the same many years ago with my Dad, who died largely because the doctor failed to diagnose his cancer for around 9 months. My mother complained and it was arse covering all the way and her complaints were "not upheld." He died in pain, at home, with no stronger drugs than paracetamol and my Mum struggling on her own as social services were utterly crap. I would think twice about taking it further - it was laborious, time consuming and frustrating, not to mention expensive. Everything my Mum said was twisted, and the stress really took its toll on her.

Sincere condolences to you and yours Islandlady.
Clearly wires got crossed here somewhere with awful consequences for your parents.
As others have said, you must let those who should know, know that this monumental cock up happened and added to the distress that any family feel at a time like this.
As you rightly say, how much further you go with this justifiable complaint is up to your Dad.
Best wishes.

MP's are very good at taking over complaints, in dificult circumstances such as yours.

After recieving a complaint they will initially respond within 28 days, this should include how they are investigating this.

All phone calls made on a Service Users behalf should be logged onto the computer system, this will be trackable.

So sorry for your loss. I worked at SS for a while and I know that SWs do feel awful when mistakes happen. And, mistakes shouldn't happen. Do complain because if they are good SWs they will want to improve and try to make sure it doesn't happen again and if they are bad SWs, complaining is the right thing to do.

Again, sorry for your loss.