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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have walked out of close friend's house

194 replies

vannah · 19/05/2012 22:55

This happened a few wks ago: my closest friend has children has 2 young DCs as do I. Bit of a distance between us so we dont often get to visit. We drove for an hour, arrived to find the room sparse, all toys packed away...kids standing in middle of room not knowing what to do. The mum sat there eating her lunch. My 4yr old stood behind me on the sofa and was repeatedly told off by my friends saying it's dangerous to stand on a sofa...(her shoes were off, she wasn't on the edge) I didn't think it was unsafe and I'm very safety conscious .

Eventually they brought some enormous pink baby Lego down which the children played with for A few mins. My 7 yr old son sat quietly on the sofa next to me, I eventually gave him my mobile to play on, realising that they would not be bringing any toys out other than the baby Lego. The 6 yr old girl stood up and said "I'm going upstairs, come on mummy, " then glared at my daughter who had the notion of going up with her. So off went mother and daughter upstairs...whilst DD sat in my lap, trying not to cry..

She eventually climbs out of my lap and decides to look around the room, her radar homing in on the 'hidden' toys, about 12 food containers behind the sofa with Lego friends...her eyes light up but my friend jumps in and says no she's not allowed to play with those because of the small parts... (their youngest is 2) at which point dd bursts into heavy sobs with her head buried in my chest and won't stop crying or look up. Fed up, I politely inform my friend that we are leaving due to traffic , despite having been there for no more than 40 mins. At that point he says "oh no, she can do the Lego in the other rooms..," but I already have their shoes on.

It's strange, because whenever their daughter comes to our house (she's 6) she opens every cupboard and helps herself to all the toys, goes upstairs whilst her father affectionately calls her little miss nosy Parker. We don't have these issues with school play dates, never seen anyone hiding away ALL toys...

He is my closest friend of more than 20 yrs, its silly that I'm close yet too embarrassed to say why I feel so bad. He sent a MSG to say hope dd ok when we left but since then no communication. Seems awful to damage a friendship over this but I feel so cross. Obviously, wont be taking DCs there again. Am I being unreasonable? Thank you...

OP posts:
PickledFanjoCat · 20/05/2012 09:07

Get your loafaz off my sofazz had got potential. Anyone got cowells number?

everlong · 20/05/2012 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlanMoore · 20/05/2012 09:20

I always take some toys with me as well, having a friend who never brings anything for her dc to play with then wonders why they get bored (lots older than mine and didn't bring anything when we had no child!)

The settee thing would piss me off and i don't let my 2 year old do it in other people's houses.

"beautiful robots" thing is girls aloud btw :)

Chandon · 20/05/2012 09:25

Wife and friend had just had an argument.

Wife: Your friends kids always make a mess, and I got the house tidy! And I really wanted to go swimming with the kids and now we have to hang around for hours with YOUR friend, and her brats who always stand on our furniture and cry if they do not get their way. Thanks. Big thanks, this is MY day off too, you know?

Friend: it will be fine, I will make sure they do not make a mess of the toys like last time, and I will make sure they do not climb all over the furniture

Wife: whatever. I am having lunch now as I am sure as hell not doing the catering today.

Doorbell rings...

DonkeyTeapot · 20/05/2012 09:30

I wish I'd read this thread last night, I'd have been laughing my little woolly socks off!

Now, when MN-scarf-wearers see each other in public it's going to be

"Pom Bears?"

"Rasclart!"

NowThenWreck · 20/05/2012 09:38

OK, First off, why am I always watching repeats of Prime Suspect when the fun stuff happens?

Second of all, everyone I know seems to think it's just dandy to let their kids bounce up and down on my fucking sofa! I am always feel like a right seargent major telling the kids to stop doing stuff like that.
And now I find out that my friends are letting their kids destroy my house and I am allowed to be pissed off!

Thirdly, I have never seen the word Ras Clat (sp) written down, but it was used all the time in my dim and distant school days.
I think Bella is a real girl btw.

AlanMoore · 20/05/2012 09:53

the youngsters I know write "rassclut" - is it same word? and where does bumbaclut fit in?

PuppyMonkey · 20/05/2012 09:56

Darn it, came back to this thread to reread and try and make sense of the crazy gobbledygook post by Abbey and it's bloody deleted. AngryGrin went to bed chuckling about it last night, that's all I remember.

waltermittymissus · 20/05/2012 10:20

I spotted Kesha, Lady Gaga and Girls Aloud in Bella's posts. I'm quite proud of my obvious coolness and down with the kidness!

Wonder will OP come back...

PickledFanjoCat · 20/05/2012 10:24

What was all that coming on a cone business. I didn't recognise anything I thought it was all original and now I bitterly disappointed. I have never ever heard of a rasclart.

toofattorun · 20/05/2012 11:58

I am so glad I read this thread.. I forgot to add rasclarts to my shopping list.

ENormaSnob · 20/05/2012 12:51

I think it went exactly as Chandon said.

TheHappyHissy · 20/05/2012 13:30

Damn! One night I go have a RL...

Can we not have a MN App or sommat that sounds a KLAXON as a notification when this kinda shit kicks off....

Sad (that I missed it!)

skybluepearl · 20/05/2012 18:30

I agree DD shouldn't have been on the sofa. It's your friends sofa and it's up to her if she wants it used as a climbing frame. I also think it was a bit over the top for your DD to cry that she didn't get her own way with getting lounge toys out.

I also think your friend was unreasonable not to get some toys out. Yes it's realistic not to want all toys out but to get non out is very up tight and far from child frindly.

Solution - meet at parks and soft play. You could suggest it and mention that you are aware she wants to keep her house tidy.

Carrymecarrie · 20/05/2012 19:11

This sounds like an odd question but (btw I haven't read other posts just op),

Does he have OCD?

I am quite uptight about people entering touching stuff in my house, espescially kids. It sounds bad but I hide toys away from my ds's cousins because I can't help but think they are full of germs. It's not that I'm being horrible, I'm just terrified of germs and kids usually carry bugs (espescially these ones, they are always ill).
I also get uptight about people coming with shoes on as ds is crawling.
In fact I would just rather not have people come round at all!

lovebunny · 20/05/2012 20:24

don't go there again. what unfriendly people. ok, so not all families allow standing on the sofa. but it sounds as if you were made unwelcome, and you were right to go.
let it go, let them go.

Mayisout · 20/05/2012 23:08

Agree with those who suggested next meeting should be in the park or somewhere.

V unpleasant behaviour by the wife, something else was going on there. Think your poor DD just sensed the crackling tension in the room.

Shame you friend didn't have the gumption to say something to help the situation.

KiwiKat · 20/05/2012 23:26

Have thoroughly enjoyed this thread - well, those posts that haven't been deleted! My mind is boggling, although my bosom remains unhoisted.

I don't allow children to stand on my sofas either, fwiw. Will be interested to hear how your next catch up with this friend goes ...

festivalwidow · 21/05/2012 14:33

Isn't it raas claat? (or am I showing my age?)
Bumba claat is the same vein as arsewipe IIRC.
I think the situation is exactly as Chandon described....

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