to be put out when a kid fields a phone call to a parents..

[lumbago]

with " we are having dinner at the moment"....

I agree with OP. It gives me the same feeling as I got when some friends of mine told me they take the phone off the hook while they're having their evening meal. How many calls are they likely to get? Who do they think they are? There's a brushoffishness and arrogance about it that makes me uncomfortable.

I can't not answer the phone. My mate just ignores it when she wants to and it drives me twitchy and gibbery. How can you listen to a ringing phone and not pick it up? How?

So yes, I'd answer it and then tell the caller it wasn't convenient for me to answer it. I can see how that might be annoying.

What is so sacred about answering the phone, Sparkling? For many of us, eating dinner means conversation; why is there an obligation to interrupt one conversation to start another?

And why, OP, would a life and death matter be resolved by people simply not answering the phone?

If it's someone I want to talk to, I answer the phone to let them know I will call them back, but explain we're eating right now. Otherwise the phone will probably ring again in 5-10 mins while we're still eating and annoy both of us.

lumbago this is one of the things that life is too short to worry about.

If it's life or death then tell the child who answers the phone.

If it isn't ask them to call you when they've finished eating their dinner or ask what would be a good time for you to call back.

Done. Never worry or be 'put out' by this again.

For many boring reasons we don't all eat together as a family very often cory so maybe that's why I don't mind answering the phone.

ok fair enough, Sparkling

but that doesn't mean that eating together isn't a special time in many families

of course I would interrupt it if anyone genuinely needed my help- but not for something that could just as well wait a few minutes

YABU.

I like to eat my dinner with my family, having a conversation and while it is hot. So if I decided to ask one of my DC to tell a caller we are eating and it is not convenient that is my business. Surely if it were life and death you would have said so!

eyes you up suspiciously Are you my MIL, who was deeply shocked and offended that when she once rang as I served dinner, I apologised to her, said we were about to eat, and could I call her back in 20 minutes? Completely alien concept to her apparently.

And a bit of a lightbulb moment for DP. It'd never previously occurred to him to ask his mum (who never ever stops talking and always phones at a bad time) if he could call her back at a more convenient moment.

The classic is the child who answers the phone then shouts "mum its that woman you can't stand"....

I appreciate and am a bit of families who sit down at the table and eat together every evening.

I can't actually remember the last time our landline rang though if I am honest.

YABU, although if you had rang us it would have gone to the answer machine and if I like you you get a call back after 7pm when it's free.

Most evenings we get to eat together so it's our only chance to chat, me, DH and baby (although she doesn't say much).

DH wanted a phone putting in the kitchen because the nearest one is in the lounge upstairs but I said no as I don't want the phone ringing whilst we are eating.

What was your call about OP? Was it very exciting?

Ohhh I got a classic off my nephew this morning.

N: Hello?
Me: Hiya X is your mum there?

N: Yes.

N: Who is it?
Me: Aunty Ferret.

N: What do you want?
Me: What do you think i want? Just put your bloody mother on the phone!

To be fair he did answer the questions you asked, your lucky he bothered to probe you for the information you should have freely offered.

you're*

They weren't fielding it. They didn't ask you "what the call was about" or say "are they expecting the call?"

They were having dinner, they told you, I'm sure if the child was capable of answering the phone they were capable of taking a message asking the parents to ring you once they had finished dinner.

You Are Being Unreasonable.

They WBU to anser the phone when they were clearly unable to take the call.

I have a colleague who, when I ring his office, he picks up then berates me as he is "holding a one-to-one" (before I even say anything other than "hello, it's Gnocchi"). Erm....well, don't answer your phone then, ill leave a voicemail.

YANBU- the family are eating their dinner- you are not so important that their meal needs to be interrupted just because you feel like talking to one of them.

If that was me I would say "so sorry to disturb your dinner, I'll call back later"

We eat our evening meal at the table and it's proper quality family catch up time. The rest of the world can sod off until we're done.

MY MIL is the opposite- she phones us whilst she is eating and chews down the phone. DH tells her to ring back when she's not eating. Yuk.

Sorry OP, that should be a firm YABU, not YANBU.

Slight tangent, but I really hate it when people let small children answer the phone.

I also feel quite teeth clenchy when small children record the family answer phone message. It really is not cute, just arsey.

We do this & personally I think YABU & perhaps being very oversensitive, many a time I've been juggling pots & pans in the kitchen & only just managed to sit down to eat & the phone will go - I want to sit & enjoy my food & don't expect any good friends to not understand that - I'd also be offended if I've put effort into cooking a decent meal & DH takes a call for him which means letting it go cold

That said though, IF it's a call from someone we rarely hear from, then DD knows to ask who is & we will speak to them & explain we've just sat down to eat & can we call them back after 7, or can they ring again in an hour - no-one has taken offence at that.

BUT has it occurred to you that the DCs might be taking too much on themselves & answering for themselves WITHOUT your friends knowledge - we've had that problem with our DD - she thinks people we ALL know will ring for US as a family, so has thought nothing of having a little chat, telling them its food time, putting the phone down & not bothering to let any of us know - she often does this with MIL & Godparents, many a time it has been days before we knew they called at all.

The other thing I forgot to say - evening meal time is too often nuisance sales call time too - hence why DD has the job of fielding our calls

I think that is perfectly reasonable actually.

Ww had some friends to dinner yesterday and I phoned them at 8.30am to check what they didn't eat before I went of to the supermarket to buy ingredients. I assumed as they had a three year old at least one of them would be up.

The phone was answered by their 7 year old, who said:

Hello, XXX speaking, who is this please?

I said: Hello it's Hilly here, can I speak to mummy please?

There followed a long pause, and then he returned to say:

She is here, but she is still asleep and I really don't want to wake her. I think you should call back later.'

I thought what a damned sensible and efficient child. He'll make someone an excellent PA one day.

Yanbu they can call back in 15 minutes, I don't mind answering the phone to my eldest sister as I don't see her often and with her havIng 4 dc and me 2 it's hard to phone each other at a convenient time

OP I just want to add that I think you've got a bit of a cheek expecting to chat to someone who is in the middle of their evening meal. What makes you more important than their basic need to eat undisturbed?