to think this was rude

[letasongcarryyoualong]

I am a "big girl" (17 and a half stone at last weigh in) and I know it and I am not "fat and happy" in the slightest, I'm constantly losing 2/3 stone then gaining it again and it makes me miserable.

I do an online shop at Asda every week but today I realised I had forgotten to buy some chocolate buttons which are being used as DS is potty training. So I popped into the local Asda to buy some and a few other bits and bobs. I didn't have the DCs and so was in and out sharpish and used the self service tills.

I then had "unfamiliar item in the bagging area" and the assistant came over to check that nothing had been double bagged or whatever the terminology used is and saw the bag of chocolate buttons (it was one of those large bags with lots of fun sized mini bags in it) and she proceeded to grin at me and said, "Ooh, you like your chocolate, don't you?"

I could have cried, right there and then. She said it so loudly other customers turned and smirked.

AIBU/silly - or was this not on? How would you have felt (assuming you're not a size 8)

When DH and I were TTC, I bought pregnancy tests a couple (that would be "a lot" ) times, and twice I got comments from the check out person. "Are these for you?" and "So.. are you hoping for a positive or negative?" Neither comment was, IMO, appropriate - or any of their business.

Surely it's not that hard to come up with inane chatter with customers that doesn't overstep the boundary of politeness?

Revolting', I hate it, we all do . We are told to make SPECIFIC comments now, not vague (eg weather) For eg, 'that's a nice blouse, we have some trousers that would go with that, would you like me to show you?' We are performance monitored on this, in fact it's part of my appraisal. We are expected to act like personal shoppers and we are only a charity shop!!!!

Lololizzy, that's hideous. I hate that kind of indsidious pushy 'nicey nicey' sales methods. It makes me feel instantly that I do not want to buy anything.

Yes,it's insensitive thing to say,
But don't let it get to you x

it is pushy, especially for a charity shop. They want us to go all 'boutique'. It's not fair on volunteers who for example - have special needs and feel awkward asking / don't speak much english (but are fine on the till with money), etc. We have secret shoppers watching us at moment, so am just waiting for reports back...

lololizzy - that sort of behaviour from shop assistants is REALLY offputting to a lot of customers - like sales assistants who pounce on you after you've been in the shop a minute and ask if you'd like any help. I understand the principles behind it and maybe it works in other countries but in the UK it is, IME, just offputting. When I was younger, that sort of attitude would have stopped me returning to certain shops - now I'm old enough to just carry on regardless but still.

I think it's daft that you have secret shoppers trying to force you to do this - perhaps they should take more note of the other shoppers' reactions than what you're doing.

OP I would have felt sensitive about it but tbh it would be in my head so YABU to let it get to you as it was probably inane commentary as part of her job and she hadn't thought it through, it's unlikely she meant any harm. You should be pleased she hadn't noted and been careful about your weight!

Tee your post was unhelpful, have you ever had a weight issue? If op could stop yo yoing then I think she probably would no one chooses to be miserable about their weight it's a mental issue she clearly needs help with.

Oh and at a size 22 some people are most definitely looking and judging sadly, way of the world.

I too was in asda at the checkout when i saw a box of maltesers. DS and Dn LOVE them so i put them on the belt. The assistant looked me up and down and SMIRKED ooøhh yov just couldnt resirt them could you? Like a gimp i just took it and had a little cry in the car. Bloody asda!

ilovedarthmaul I think a simple "Goodness, did you MEAN that to sound so incredibly rude? I can't imagine it's any of your business to comment on what I purchase!" would have been appropriate.

It sounds like a perfectly innocent comment, maybe she didn't need to say anything but it doesn't sound like it was made in relation to your size.

I think it's going to be the norm in many shops now. And, the assistants ARE being monitored so have to do it. I frequently have food shopping commented on.
Lush is probably the worst shop though. ''oh you're buying that, that's my favourite'' (but last week it was something else! how many favourites do you have?!) or 'try a bit of this, it's my favourite' . I know they have to do it, it's just offputting, so I HATE having to do it myself now.

I think it is all perfectly innocent. Assistant is clutching at straws to make some smalltalk re purchase. Believe me, it's not always easy! (in my case for example...elderly man buying frilly knickers?!) And as I said...i was told it has to be specifically about purchase. Supermarket assistants are also being monitored, by their managers, and by secret shoppers ( i used to be a secret shopper myself, inc visiting supermarkets)

If it makes you feel better I did make a comment once (as a fellow customer not an assistant) about large numbers of apples. They had a trolley with about 20+ bags of different types of apples, and I was chatting to them in line and they told me they were having an apple tasting game where people had to link the taste of the apple to the name.

For what it's worth, for potty training you can get those supersized bags of chocolate buttons which are cheaper (or magic stars too). I used to break the buttons into quarters to they thought they had 4 chocolates too.

She'a cah. Send the boys round!

Poor you

Oops. she's

I think I'd have to have told her to Fark right back off to perfect land. YANBU in the slightest.