to not complain in case I spoil it for everyone? (Long)

[Debeez]

Morning. May out myself here. :o

Had an amazing opportunity, DS, his friend and his DM and I all spent the night in a museum. A huge sleepover with activities and free food and drinks, £3 per child, adults go free. Amazing, sign me up and can I please come to the next one? This is part of a trial scheme across the UK and the evening started with us being referred to as honored guests, the first people ever to do this in our local museum. Felt very lucky.

It was awful, glowsticks were given out by the staff. When the staff left them unattended on a high shelf parents helped their children help themselves to more. Some parents had up to five for themselves. This result in staff panic about running out as not every child had been offered one at this point. I was embarrassed for my city, this set the tone for the evening.

Children were climbing on displays, hiding the parts of the treasure hunt, the staff were volunteers and couldn't be everywhere at once. The parents really let the side down.

Bed time was 12 midnight with total silence expected by 12:30. Age group was 7 - 9 year olds. Now children are not going to settle straight away, they're going to giggle and shout when lights are turned off and flash torches. Great, they're having fun, fair enough. What I wasn't prepared for was the parents, loud and shouting, swearing at kids, laughing on with mates when their children asked them to shush.

(There were always staff available at front desk but no one dared complain, no one was going to be asked to leave at 2am and you do feel very vulnerable sleeping in a huge room with the people you've just complained about.)

We're going to be asked to give feedback of the night.

Would it be wrong to say the whole thing was amazing with no issue (not the staff's fault about the parents) in case they then decide it's not worth doing in my area and no one else gets a chance?

Or do I raise the issue of better supervision required for parents so they have a chance to put it right? Which would result in more enjoyment for everyone.

Sorry that should have been

"Or do I raise the issue of better supervision required for parents so they have a chance to put it right? Which would result in more enjoyment for everyone."....but running the risk of them deciding not to continue with the scheme as more supervision is too costly/not enough volunteers.

I think you have to mention the problems. Could you use the "sandwich" technique; say something nice, then the complaint, then something else positive?

I'd be honest the point of a trial run is to iron out kinks, if no one is honest it will carry on like that and tbh sounds fairly pointless doing if it's not going to be respected.

Of course raise it - sounds like they underestimated the number of staff they needed - say what you enjoyed as well

I'd be completely honest with my feedback.

Sounds like my idea of a nightmare - trapped in a room with a lot of chavs.

Sorry it wasn't the enjoyable experience it should have been.

I would just be honest. The point of a trial is to find the problems in the system and hopefully fix them do that it will be the wonderful experience you wanted. You could be a pioneer!

Yes, be honest. They need to look into better supervision, maybe without parents.

"I was embarrassed for my city"

!

Be honest.
We've done this in the Science Museum, but it was schools, so no parents and was (on the whole) successful. It was only one or two slightly ineffectual teachers that were the problem.

I think to do it with families is just asking for trouble. Just reading AIBU shows how many differing parenting approaches there are and unless there is some kind of scary Dragon Lady in charge of the event I can only see the problems being repeated.

You sound a weird mix between judgmental and passive. Why the angst about what to say? Just be honest.

Be honest. Things like glow sticks could be sorted by handing out one each on arrival, and parents could be made to sign something that will make them financially responsible for any damage their children cause. This would have the effect of the parents 'policing' their own children, and keeping an eye on others so they don't end up liable.

There is no reason why they can't warm people that they will be asked to leave for rowdy behaviour, even if it is at 2am, because that way people have a choice to behave or not, but they can't complain that they weren't warned. Staying quiet isn't exactly hard to do.

I think you can tell the truth but make some constructive suggestions that would hopefully mean the opportunity was still available in future.

Can someone explain to me the whole point of sleeping in a museum??? Why?????

Dozer You've got me to a T there I'll admit. I am VERY judgy, but also judgy of myself so tend to shut up and put up where possible. Not everyone parents like me and I don't expect them too.

I just felt so lucky for me and DS and our friends to be there and maybe when I heard this might be a regular thing my heart swelled with joy for all the children who would get a chance to do this. I love museums as does DS.

The angst is based in our city not usually being chosen for stuff like this. There are 2 big cities near by with many more museums and art galleries and a more community based culture. The kids loved it and surely that's the point?

I love the sandwich idea, praise, complaint, praise. Will try that. I'm just so excited about this and I'm scared they'll take it away. The old adage, never look a gift horse in the mouth.

I've ran sleepovers in museums before and we always had v structured activities, maybe you could suggest that? So it sounds like you are giving helpful suggestions rather than just criticising. Also say about parents signing a form of how they are expected to behave as that can be used in future to chuck bad ones out with. I'm suprised you were all just left and there was only someone on reception. Sounds like they need lots more staff. Having been on the receiving end of eveluations, although its nice to get compliments I would be far happier to get constructive criticism at an early stage, ragged than when I'm running them for real with proper paying punters ifswim.

I think this kind of activity works better with organised groups such as school or brownies / scouts.

Be honest in your feedback.

squeakytoy Mini private tours, late night walk through the rain forest section with real animals to see and touch (snakes and beasties!), plus the ambiance of it was wonderful. A new way to get children excited about museums. I think it's stemmed from the popularity of the "Night at the Museum" films.

There's no point giving feedback unless it's realistic. Seriously, how can lying about the experience be helpful?

Ah right.... would it not just be a better idea to do this from say 8pm to 11pm, with the lights off.. and then send everyone home again. .

Shared "Seriously, how can lying about the experience be helpful?"

Can see where you're coming from, not lying as such, my son had an absolute blast. So in those terms the night was a roaring success. IYSWIM.

Squeaky We did debate leaving but couldn't do it to the boys. Friday night 11pm on a bus in our area isn't a nice place for children.

Are you in Norfolk? Because if you are some friends of mine will be mortified by what you are saying.

No you're not, I should have looked at your profile first.

North East Ruby. Why would they be mortified?

Dd did this a few years ago - it was a birthday party and they were about 10 I think. It was great, all the children were very well behaved and had a wonderful time. The staff were excellent.

Perhaps in your case the children were a bit too young, the group too large, and I am afraid they sound badly behaved, and poorly parented. In other words, the sort of group who would be badly behaved anywhere. .

(Excluding you and your DC of course, OP. It sounds as if your experience was ruined by the others).

Don't know what to suggest about the feedback.

So far as I understand it, sleepovers at the museum are usually through groups, so scouts, guides, schools, etc. This means that parents aren't present and so the guidelines for behaviour are already set out without the museum having to spell them out.

In your situation, as I understand it, anyone could take part so long as it was one parent with one child (or maybe one parent with all their DC?). However, the rules of behaviour had not been set out beforehand, unlike with other groups. Perhaps that is what the museum needs to focus on.

Unfortunately, I have never been to a museum sleepover, so don't know if the groups are usually left alone. I know that when DB takes the Beavers away, one adult has to stay awake all night to ensure all is well. Perhaps that is what needs to happen here, too.

I do hope the museum can iron out the kinks and that the sleepovers can continue.