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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a cleaner when I work 20 hrs per week?

124 replies

zozzle · 18/05/2012 10:11

These hours include one evening a week. Sometimes I work another evening a week on top of these hours. 2 kids at primary school aged 4 and 8. In my head I feel that I should get all the cleaning done in my 2 days off so that the house is all lovely ready for the weekend, but that doesn't seem to happen - sometimes I might do a bit for work, do washing, catch up with family on the phone, do admin, prepare dinner, meet a friend for coffee sort out doctor/hosp appts etc and before I know it its 3pm and time to collect kids. I must admit by Thurs I'm tired so maybe not as efficient as I could be!

So whats the verdict? - "of course you need one" or "sort out your time management woman!"

OP posts:
chullah · 18/05/2012 20:06

You are so not BU ! I work 20 hours over 3 days and if I could afford it I'd have a cleaner - just to walk into the house and it have been cleaned by someone else, bliss.

Probably wouldn't mind as much when the living room is trashed with toys within an hour as it wasnt my hard effort ruined Wink

beatenbyayellowteacup · 18/05/2012 20:09

Not a problem at all! If you want one, get one.

Not an issue. Someone does it because they need the money. You get a clean house and free time and a lot less hassle.

What's not to like? Wink

Trestle · 18/05/2012 20:11

Even if you consider it a luxury to have a cleaner, what's wrong with that? No different from other extras such as wine/chocolate/going out.

Kaloobear · 18/05/2012 20:14

I'm on maternity leave and our house is a bomb site. If we could afford a cleaner I would hire one in a heartbeat! As it is I sit on my lazy arse and sob at the grime.

If you can afford it then there's nothing wrong with paying someone to do a job you don't want to do.

fryscream · 18/05/2012 20:18

OP, I am in paid employment 21 hours a week over 3 days. I found I was spending my DDs entire nap time racing around the house cleaning. I hated it. So, we now have a cleaner 2 hours a week. Do we NEED one? No. Do we WANT one? Yes. Not everything is life is about needs, it can be about wants. Do what you WANT! And sod everyone else

beatenbyayellowteacup · 18/05/2012 20:23

ok, have you paid for a washing machine to do your washing? A hoover to do whatever a hoover does hoover things?

what's the diff?

TBF you're paying a small amount to reduce a big stress.

beatenbyayellowteacup · 18/05/2012 20:33
myBOYSareBONKERS · 18/05/2012 20:41

I work 17.5hrs a week and I have a cleaner AND I LOVE IT!!!

Yes, I could do it myself but I DON'T WANT TO!!

I don't drink, smoke and certainly don't do drugs so this is my piece of luxury.

If you want it and can afford it, then do it.

gwendolinefairfax · 18/05/2012 21:44

I worked 20 hrs a week but had a big dusty house ,a dog ,2 cats and 4 kids ! I had a cleaner who came once a week. She needed
a job and I needed the help. She became a great friend and I am invited to her wedding in Poland this summer ! She travelled 200 km by train to come and see my new house when we moved. I miss her :( So it's not just about ironing and mopping floors for me . Chubfuddler has a valid point.

mama01 · 18/05/2012 22:04

Get a cleaner. I used to have one until I went part time and we can't afford one now. We both get grumpy and unhappy when we have an unclean house so it's worth every penny. Having a cleaner makes you tidy up I always think, do good in that respect Wink

Downandoutnumbered · 18/05/2012 22:27

Get the cleaner! We've had one all our married lives, even though I was a student when we first married and could theoretically have done the cleaning as I was at home quite a bit - I didn't want to get into a position where it was 'my job'.

bibbitybobbitybunny · 18/05/2012 22:29

Yanbu. I sahm and have primary aged children and we have a cleaner. Its because I hate cleaning.

SparkyDuchess · 18/05/2012 22:49

I hate cleaning - I work full time but from home, so in theory I could fit it in.

I choose not to, and pay a cleaner, an ironing service, a gardener and occasionally a local pensioner to do odd jobs.

No guilt whatsoever here!

5madthings · 18/05/2012 22:58

get a cleaner! if you can afford it why not?

i dont work am a sahm to 5 kids, 3 are school age, if we could afford a cleaner we would have one! why not make your life easier if you can and yes its good for the economy! :)

tigerdriverII · 18/05/2012 23:04

Why don't you just do what you want? You don't need anyone else's endorsement, spend your blooming money how you want!

Iteotwawki · 19/05/2012 04:30

Does it matter how much you do or don't work, in or out of the home?

It boils down to 2 questions (as has already been said) - do you want a cleaner, and do you have the money spare to pay for one?

If the answers to both are "yes" then it really isn't anyone's concern but yours. It doesn't matter if you work 40+h a week, party 40+h a week, want the time with your children or want to spend 40h a week in the bath (although then I guess the cleaner couldn't get to it!).

We have a cleaner, it's lovely. I leave for work Friday morning and when I get back the house is gleaming and shiny for the weekend. I can spend my (very precious and not enough of it) time as I choose (with my children) - the cleaner has lots of spare time but not much money - it's win win for both of us.

Dolcelatte · 19/05/2012 06:21

OP, I understand how you feel. When I worked full time in an office, it felt completely justifiable to have a cleaner.

When I changed my work pattern a couple of years ago to work fewer hours and mainly from home, I felt guilty at being at home and letting someone else do my cleaning (even though I was working). I therefore used to go out for lunch on the days that she came. It then struck me that this was a bit absurd as I was paying not only for the cleaner, but also for meals out as well!

Now I have adapted, although I still try to schedule appointments when i have to be in the office at a time when the cleaner is in the house (the vacuuming noise is also not conducive to work!).

But, as had been said above, my cleaner is very happy to have a job and I am very happy that she has a job, so it's a 'win, win' situation. I also have a nanny and a gardener - same principles apply. If you can afford it OP, then go for it - it's nobody's business but your own!

Jnice · 19/05/2012 06:26

Good grief, who cares if anyone thinks yabu. Your time, your money!

I am on mat leave with 3 ds's and have some Childcare/ school time for all 3, so i have some child free time 3 days per week. We kept our cleaner on. I couldn't give a flying fuck whether it's reasonable or not, I'm not going back to scrubbing bathrooms.

nowahousewife · 19/05/2012 07:02

Like many other posters say, if you can afford it, do it.

We've always had a cleaner and then only time I've ever felt guilty was when I took a years sabbatical (though not guilty enough to let her go!)

If you feel guilty think of it as providing an aspirational role model for your children - if they see that you and dh work hard then you have choices about how to spend you time/money.

seabuckthorn · 19/05/2012 07:14

If I could afford a cleaner I would have one YANBu

papooshka · 19/05/2012 07:50

No yanbu, if you want one get one, no one else's business, you don't need our permission!

I am a sahm and I have a cleaner 5 hours a week.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 19/05/2012 09:50

Right that settles it; I'm getting a cleaner!

My OH does sweet FA. that's not an understatement; he works very very hard but at home doesn't tidy up after himself (think chopping board, crumbs, knives on worktop; butter left out for hours; clothes dumped in a pile by the bed instead of a metre away in the washing basket.....Sad) I adore the bloke and he's a fabulous dad BUT- have taken to thinking I might possibly leave the bastard in years to come if something doesn't change.

I'm planning on using my impending return to work from second maternity leave to set some ground rules and to get a cleaner sorted. When I've begged asked for one before, he's always said we can't afford it yet he's just come back from a supermarket trip to get fresh bread with bags and bags of unnecessary stuff and treats and says "he'll do the cleaning".

MY ARSE!

Neither of us are particularly tidy but I bust a gut trying to keep it remotely ok- he should understand the effort that takes me but instead just walks in and undoes my good work in minutes.

Sorry this has turned into a rant (but how cathartic!)

Do people get cleaners from agencies or somehow find them privately?

Taffeta · 19/05/2012 10:24

Blackholes - do it. If I'd waited for DH's permission we never would have got one. I upped my hours temporarily at work and told him its what we were doing. Its £9 ph FFS, a couple of pints, we're not talking huge bucks.You are earning the money - and you want one, so get one.

I have 2 hrs pw, she does the kitchen and the bathrooms and it is bliss. I found out about her from a friend; and have since recommended her to a few of my friends. Ask around.

Rachog · 19/05/2012 10:30

If you can afford it, go for it. Wish I could afford one!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/05/2012 10:32

People who say YaBU for being tired and you should cope are being very U, we are all different and all have different things to cope with and cope with them differently.

Get a cleaner if you want, I am a great believer in paying for things which will make life better.