I know IABU about DH & the gym... but I need to vent!

[TheEpilator]

Whenever DH wants to go out for a run or to the gym I get really annoyed.

His timing is usually really inconvenient e.g he sees me starting to get dinner out to prepare and says "have I got time for a run before dinner's ready?" (not "can I help you get dinner ready/lay the table/help with DCs homework? etc) I know he has to take the free time when he gets it, but I still feel really narked by it.

I know I should be glad that he's getting himself fit, but I'm just jealous and resentful that its all he seems to think about. I started running before him, but got an injury which left me unable to go for a few weeks, so then he started and is getting totally into it, logging his runs, wittering on about energy shakes and gels etc.

I just find myself feeling unreasonably angry whenever he wants to go and feeling really pissed off that he's losing weight and basically 'stole' my hobby! I know its stupid and I should just get back to it, but he's so far ahead of me that if we run together he uses my run as a warm-up then goes out afterwards for 'a proper run', so I think why bother?

Yesterday he mentioned that if we went away to Rome (never gonna happen) for a long weekend, he'd probably get lost running round the city. Even during his fantasy 'romantic' weekend he's off on his own bloody running

You need to do your own exercise at your pace and focus on your improvement, not anyone else's. Maybe join a running club, where you'll find same-speed, supportive people to run with and set times you can insist on not missing.

A thing I love about running is that you are only ever competing with yourself really. Unless you are Paula Radcliffe there will always be people faster than you (and slower) and if you race your main aim will always be to better your own time.

I understand the frustration but your dh's priorities are a different issue.

I think YABU. You don't own running so you can't object if he has taken it up and it's doing him lots of good. You have plenty of time during the day to set aside an hour for a run, or exercise of some sort.

I'm amazed that if he is home at 4 that you find it inconvenient for him to go for a run at some point before dinner. Maybe you should work together to find the time for him to run that works for you both.

Today I bit the bullet and went for a run. Wasn't sure if I could still do it after 6 weeks, so I thought I'd take it steady, but I managed 2 x 15 mins with a little walk in between, so I'm well chuffed with myself!

Crossed paths with DH running in the other direction, so I gave him a smile and a cheery wave and carried on.

I am going to make sure I fit 3 runs a week in somehow and then maybe I won't have such a problem when he decides to go. Maybe I'll rota in a day where he makes dinner too (not a takeaway!) so that I don't get so frustrated with that part of it.

Can't he go for a run in the evening after dcs are in bed? Most guys i know do that

During the week Gym happens when small kids are in bed. You both get equal sport/hobby time. Those are The Rules.

Have you got a copy of those Rules Whatme? I'd love to know what the others are, as I'm sure he's breaking a few of them!

First it's a hobby - so he needs to understand that. Can he go out before dinner? He's asking a question so a repoly in the negative shouldn't disappoint. He doesn't need a £700 treadmill - a gym membership would be cheapier and woon't take up room. Does he drive to work? If he has an office job could he take the car part-way and run to the office and back to the car? Lots of ways around this. negotiation is the key, But, he's found a hobby that makes him 'look good' so he gets into the energy drinks/HRM rubbish men fall into. They love gadgets or 'magic powders'

Oooh dont' tell him about the magic powders Pedallleur, I'll never hear the last of it!

He is already a gym member and works too far away to run there, but as you say I think he just wants all the gadgets and to be a 'proper runner' whereas to me its just fun - he maps and logs every run when he gets home .

He's like this with everything though, motorbikes, bikes, camping - he has to join the forum, buy all the gadgets, become an expert, then when he's got it all, he moves on to the next thing.