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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want 10yr old to go to pub after school?

32 replies

cathkidstonbag · 18/05/2012 07:59

Really hoping I don't get outed in RL here!

A friend was supposed to be having 10yr old DD for tea after school tonight. Admittedly as a favour to me but we have the kind of friendship when favours can be asked!

She told me at the beginning of the week that she planned to take DD with her DCs and a friend with DD out for pizza instead. All fine. I said actually I might come to if that's ok with younger DC.

Then yesterday she said instead they would be going to a pub after school. This is something she does every now and then. Never with my DD though.

Whilst I am sometimes in need of a glass of wine after pick up this is very much a small drinking pub. No garden or anything like that. So kids would sit outside on benches near road. Whilst adults were inside.

I said I felt uncomfortable with it and would rather pick DD up myself and take her out for tea (apart from anything else DD was disappointed not to be going for pizza after friend had told her that plan).

AIBU? A nice pub with a garden to run round in then yes. But I just don't feel it's appropriate. DD is very upset as she worries her friend will think she's a baby for not going.

OP posts:
overmydeadbody · 18/05/2012 08:01

Is she planning on feeding the kids at the pub? Or going for a few drinks?

Sparklingbrook · 18/05/2012 08:01

I think you are being very reasonable. If it was a pub with a huge garden and it was a nice day then great. But no, I wouldn't want my child to go, there's nothing in it for them is there? Confused So no pizza then?

Original poster
cathkidstonbag · 18/05/2012 08:02

It doesn't do food. So just drinks.

OP posts:
Original poster
cathkidstonbag · 18/05/2012 08:03

No pizza!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 18/05/2012 08:04

That's just weird isn't it?

FannyFifer · 18/05/2012 08:05

No you are not being unreasonable.
No child of mine would ever be left sitting outside a pub. I think that's totally out of order.

MadamFolly · 18/05/2012 08:05

Why on earth would the kids want to go? yanbu

shemademedoit · 18/05/2012 08:09

Surely your friend could had a glass of wine with her pizza.....? Don't get why she'd even consider leaving the kids outside a pub.

shemademedoit · 18/05/2012 08:10

Oops: Have.

MoodyNagoo · 18/05/2012 08:14

YANBU.

I wouldn't let her take my child. Why would the children want to do that? If you are supposed to be looking after someone else's child you don't leave them outside a pub. I have no clue as to why she would think this is an appropriate thing to do.

FannyFifer · 18/05/2012 08:14

Also, the only people around my village that would leave a child sitting outside a pub while they were inside drinking are pretty much scum.

Sparklingbrook · 18/05/2012 08:15

Is there some sort of other motive for wanting to go to this 'lovely' sounding pub?

Original poster
cathkidstonbag · 18/05/2012 08:16

I think this may have broken our friendship tbh. I was as polite as I could be in declining but I know she thinks I'm being paranoid and over protective. I'm pretty peeved that she promised DD a meal out too as a treat and then that just gets forgotten.

Good to know I'm not BU though!!

OP posts:
Original poster
cathkidstonbag · 18/05/2012 08:18

It's not lovely it has a reputation around here for being quite a rough place, I went there with friends once and DH was worried about me there!!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 18/05/2012 08:18

You see that's the point. Your DD was told she was going out for pizza, and now that's not happening. Sad can you take her yourself instead?

i wouldn't worry about your friendship if she can't see that what she has done is a bit sad.

Sirzy · 18/05/2012 08:19

If it had been a family friendly pub to go to for a meal fair enough, but sitting outside a drinkers pub I would have reacted the same. Sounds like what happened 40 years ago with the kids being kept quiet outside with some pop and crisps!

Sparklingbrook · 18/05/2012 08:19

I am intrigued as to what the attraction of this pub is though. It is 'school run happy hour' or something? Confused

GetTheeToANunnery · 18/05/2012 08:20

Yanbu. Pubs can be fun for children and adults if they have a garden/play centre but it's not really on for them to be sitting outside bored.

Sparklingbrook · 18/05/2012 08:21

Exactly Gethee, if it has to be a pub, there are other pubs surely.

Callisto · 18/05/2012 08:25

DH and I go to pubs with DD fairly often (almost always for lunch) and even I am shocked that your friend thinks it is ok to leave children sitting outside while she goes on the lash inside. Utterly bizarre behaviour and not particularly responsible parenting imo.

Pooka · 18/05/2012 08:26

Yanbu

A pub with large garden and play equipment, no problem. Do this myself sometimes when is warm and am meeting other friends with kids. A shandy or a spritzer or two and dh comes and meets us after work, we all walk home and kids sleep like tops.

A pub with no food, no garden and just drinking. No.

bringbacksideburns · 18/05/2012 08:27

Why on earth wouldn't she pick a family friendly pub with a garden?

No YANBU.

storminabuttercup · 18/05/2012 08:28

Could you take DD's friend for pizza too?

YANBU, family pub or at least one that does food fine, a grotty drinkers pub at what? 3.30 no way, there's nothing in it for the girls Sad

Mrsmuppethead · 18/05/2012 08:30

Nope, i wouldn't be happy with the pub idea either, and wouldn't want my DD to go. Blinkin' awkward though isn't it when you fall out with parents from school..very tense times at the gate!

holmesgirl · 18/05/2012 08:30

Yanbu. A. It's rubbish to promise the kids pizza and then revoke it. B. No way would I let my kids sit outside a drinking pub. She IBVU.

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