Plain crisps ffs. PLAIN CRISPS.

[SilentBoob]

If I asked you to get me a packet of plain crisps, what would you bring me?

Every time I have asked dh for plain crisps these past couple of weeks he has come home without them, saying the shop didn't have any.

Then tonight he brought me ready salted and said he was sorry, the shop STILL didn't have any plain crisps but maybe I'd like ready salted instead?

Gentle probing revealed that he thought I wanted entirely plain and unflavoured crisps. WHO THE JEFF WANTS PLAIN, UNSALTED, UNFLAVOURED CRISPS?

Plain crisps = ready salted. IANBU.

Obv not up for PIV action that soon after the birth. V thoughtful.

Whenever I tried those salt & shake crisps - all the salt would end up on one crisp no matter how much I shook the packet!

You're not supposed to lick them first.

Now you can get plain (with nothing on) crisps without buying salt and shake and not shaking, I think DP is not that unreasonable for mis-understanding what you wanted if and only if he's not from the UK or was never allowed near crisps growing up. However for anyone else who actually grew up here (or in North America, or Australia, or probably anywhere else English is spoken), he's bonkers!

Unsalted crisps are quite nice. As part of variety of course.

Yes, I would get you ready salted.

at sittinginthesuns DH!!

Happy socks?

I sent dh off for a loaf of Brown bread and a loaf of white. Loaf means 800g right. He came back with seeded loaf (not Brown) and a 400g white bread one. That is a half loaf, dh!

Not so mad as you think... th

My Dad refuses to call them plain, he says they are not plain they are ready salted. However if you ask him what flavour crisps he wants he says no flavour please

I hate flavoured crisps as I grew up in the US where they all taste of chemicals, to me at least.

Give me salted or salt and vinegar.

And the 10 points goes to silentboob!

loaf to my DH has meant various things over the years, so far we have had
A baguette
An unsliced loaf
A half loaf
A milk roll(?)

I would just like to add that these things are not things I buy, now I assume he would know this as he actually lives in this house and eats bread

But no, he was amazed when I asked him why he bought a milk roll
"isn't this what you normally buy"

He has sandwiches to take to work every day

They have never been made with a milk roll, oh or a fruit loaf which was his latest idea of a loaf of bread.

Just telling my dp the crisps, milk and shopping list stories and he is pissing himself as it could so easily be us. He even just said "well why did she ask fir plain if she wanted ready salted?"!

400g is a loaf - a small loaf but still a loaf, half a loaf would only have one end (boot)

I sent dh out to the cornershop while I was in early labour (attempted hb) with an instruction to buy biscuits for the midwives. 2 hours later I was in established labour and he finally returned. He'd taken the car into the city and returned with a comic, stretchmark cream and some bubble bath. No biscuits.

I had salt n shake crisps yesterday.

PS plain = ready salted. Your dh is a twonk

Giggling at this thread. Dh remembers his Mum asking his Dad to get tinned oranges. He came back without them because "They only had mandarins"

Although DH is in no position to scoff after the now legendary lightbulb incident. (Four trips to Sainsbury's) He still refuses to accept that lightbulbs come with two sorts of ends, screw or bayonet, and that you can get small ones or standard ones. He says this cannot be true and in any case they don't write it on the side of the box.

He was probably looking for those ancient ones with the little blue bag. Bless him. I bet he put a lot of time into it as well.

My DH came back with a green lightbulb once, I was honestly mystified, when I asked why he thought green was a good idea for our dining room he said he didn't realise it was green

Really? The picture of the green lightbulb and the word green on the box didn't give it away then?

true FFG
But he knew i had calculated how many sandwiches I needed to make for a children's party, and it was dependent on two loaves. He's a clever man - half the weight = half the bread = fewer sandwiches, or the same number of smaller sandwiches

Aldi does salt and shake crisps.

Actually, I'm going to say YABU!
Ordinarily, yes - plain means ready salted - but your follow up post said that at some point in time you really had bought plain crisps meaning without salt.
Ideally he'd have clarified - but I think he has a valid excuse!

I just asked DP what he would say and he replied with a confused pause "...I would tell you to go into the kitchen and get some ready salted crisps?"

I've got good at this. DH often nips to the shop for me for what I fancy for tea while I am at work (I can never decide what I want until I am hungry)

What you need to do is be very specific and give a list of alternatives should they not have what you want e.g

me: I want salad dressing, that is not salad cream btw. It is called salad dressing and is in a glass bottle. I want the garlic and herb flavour. If they don't have garlic and herb left I will have French Dressing. That is a flavour of salad dressing. Also in a glass bottle. If they don't have that either just get me balsamic vinegar. That is not the same as regular vinegar. It is also in a glass bottle. A tall one, like what the olive oil comes in.

And after I texted all of that, he forgot to go to the shop. The Bastard.

I just asked my DH, he thought for a full minute before tentatively offering 'salted?'

Phew, I think....