To feel disappointed that DS does not want to go to school prom

[Mummywheel]

Since before Christmas DS has said that he did not want to go to his school prom. I had hoped he would change his mind as time grew nearer but still he has said he is not interested I feel disappointed and worry he is missing out. He has a good selection of friends and can't think of any reason why he doesn't want to go. Have any other parents have experienced anything similar?

Why are you disappointed?

Are his friends going? IME boys tend to find these things far less exciting.

Perhaps he has nothing to wear?

My son decided to go three weeks before. I had a chat with a friend who has a daughter same age and she coaxed him into going and he enjoyed himself. He was glad he went.

My son didn't go to his prom last year.
He had absolutely no desire to go, and like zukie I don't feel he missed out.

I wouldn't concern yourself about it.

DS didn't go. I don't think he's ever regretted his decision to not attend and I know it has never been a regret of mine that he didn't go. I don't think the prom is a big thing for some teens.

I would be overjoyed TBH. Round here the Prom is just an excuse to outdo one another in your method of transport as far as I can tell. Oh and vile gawdy dresses for the girls.

I didn't go to my school leavers prom (or ball as they called it then ) . I don't feel like I missed out as I know if I would have gone I wouldn't have enjoyed it

Does he like discos, large crowds, getting dressed up?

If not, he's probably better off not going.
He'll celebrate with his mates the way he'd prefer I imagine, don't worry about it.

That's a relief, glad to hear he isn't the only one with no interest.

My DD is not going to hers this year. She says it's a rip off and a way for girls to show off, and that she wouldn't enjoy it.

A lot of her friends aren't going and feel the same. I've spoken to another mother about maybe subbing them maybe £30-£50 each to have an alternative event, like a beach party or BBQ.

My friend down the road's DD is going to the prom, and the friend is spending about £400 she doesn't have on her daughter's dress, tiara, shoes, transport and the forty quid ticket.

I didn't want to go to my prom, I was very socially anxious and dreaded it. My mum convinced me to go so I did (sedated with diazepam ) and it was just a bit boring to be honest... just like an ordinary school disco but with posh clothes. I don't regret going, but I don't think I'd have regretted not going either.

He might be getting uncomfortable ribbing about girls
He might not like dancing
He may hate loud music

All valid reasons not to go, IMO

I can imagine DS1 being like this. He left a party early the other day, for all the reasons above. His first "disco" party.

An alternative event is a brilliant idea LineRunner

Mine wouldn't go either. You'll get over it. I did.

I also object to the whole idea of a prom

I'm admire your son, OP. School proms have become a completely ludicrous event and anyone with the commonsense to stay well clear should be applauded.

I'm also wondering whether there will soon be a much greater interest in more sensible alternative events.

Me too gafhyb. What a load of cobblers.

Actually, correct that "school proms are a completely ludicrous event".

It sounds as though you have already encouraged him, but he remains reluctant, so let him do as he pleases. Better yet, take him and his friends out for a good meal on the night so he doesn't sit and brood. At that age he would obviously have thought about it hard and TBH it's not the end of the world.

I think alternative events could grow in popularity. These kids are 15 and 16, and are perfectly capable of having a great day out on ?£30 each.

My DS has told me that a day of paintballing would be great!

I'm American & I didn't go to my school prom. No regrets, no biggie. In retrospect, had I gone, I think I would have found the whole thing inane.

Tbh the only school prom I ever saw was in Carrie. And that didn't end well.

@ LineRunner