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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

by not worrying (until now) about DS walking?

95 replies

FeakAndWeeble · 17/05/2012 13:59

DS is 14mo and is toddling about holding the furniture or our hands but has yet to walk independently. We're in no rush, he's perfectly healthy and happy, we're just helping him whenever he indicates he'd like to go for a wander.

Earlier I was putting him in the car outside my dad's house when a neighbour I don't know approached and asked his age, then whether or not he's walking. When I said he was toddling but not properly walking yet she said to DS 'Well you're a very lazy boy then, and mummy needs to stop carrying you!' and walked off.

I was a bit Confused and just got in the car and drove off - but it played on me all the way home and now I've got myself all worked up that I'm doing something wrong/DS isn't developing as he should.

Is she right? Or do children - as I'd thought - just do things at different times and when they're ready? He chatters nineteen to the dozen and has lots of words. My friend's DS is of a similar age and has been walking since he was one but never says a word. Children are just different.... Right?!

OP posts:
jamdonut · 18/05/2012 21:09

Ds1 and Dd both walked at 11 months and didn't go through all the 'stages', whereas Ds2 went through every stage ,textbook-like, and didn't walk till 15 months. I don't think you should worry too much about it.

ragged · 18/05/2012 21:18

yanbu. Some folk are idiots.

DollyWobbler · 18/05/2012 21:23

It's totally out of order calling your DS lazy. I would have been fuming!

YANBU. Your neighbour is a tit!

edwinbear · 18/05/2012 22:32

My nephew didn't walk until 19 months. The HV started hassling my sister about making various appointments with people until my sister asked exactly what anyone would do about it. DN now walks, runs, jumps etc like any other 4 year old. He'll walk in his own time.

Molehillmountain · 18/05/2012 22:35

My ds walked at 18 months and is now a pretty nifty rugby tot - runs and weaves like a good un (don't usually do the proud mum but this warrants it I think). I never thought of dd as late at fourteen months-well within normal.

CecilyP · 18/05/2012 22:40

14 months isn't actually late to walk, but many people will ask if a DC is walking yet just to make conversation and no harm is meant.. Your neighbour, OTOH, just sounds rude and a little bit stupid. Like if you didn't carry your DS, he would let go and walk by himself - that is just ridiculous. And it's not as if tiny DCs who can walk, do so all the time - they will be mostly carried or riding in a buggy, in much the same way as babies who are not yet walking.

smornintime · 18/05/2012 23:02

Silly neighbour. DS was about 15m I think - reckon he was more bothered about talking than walking but now there's no stopping him. People just come out with crap like this. A woman I know was going on about her DC1 being out of nappies by 12m and how ridiculous it was of other people not to be able to manage this...now DC2 is not doing the same she's had to admit its not really the norm (am obv smug about this).
Horses for courses.

Softlysoftly · 19/05/2012 00:30

Dd "walked" on her knees until 19 months when she finally figured out how to use her feet, now I can't catch the little madam.

Don't fret and next time reply "no still not walking but he can read The Guardian and is a whizz on the old sudoku" silly woman!

Buckingfiatch · 19/05/2012 00:40

Yes, ignore. What a stupid comment.

My DS didn't walk till a week before he turned 15 months old. My cousin also didn't walk till she was 18 months.

Every child is different. They develop at their own pace. He will walk when he is good and ready.

MsVestibule · 19/05/2012 08:17

We're all late walkers in our family. My younger sister walked when she was 15 months - my DM thought she had a child genius on her hands!!! So I wasn't even remotely concerned when neither of mine walked until they were 19 and 18 months respectively.

My DD didn't even start crawling until she was 13 months; everybody seemed to be more concerned about this than I was. One of my friends (who taught autistic children) even told me there was a link between autism and lack of crawling Shock. No idea if this was true (something to do with upper body strength? Can't remember now) but I'm not sure why she thought it was appropriate to mention this to me...

TrudiRed · 19/05/2012 08:22

Just ignore her! My dd1 walked at about 17 months, ds a week before he was 18 months and dd2 at about 14 months. Your ds is still pretty young to be worrying about it. In any case perfect strangers should butt out!

Fluffy1234 · 19/05/2012 08:28

My brother walked at 20 months. My mum said prior to that he was the fastest bum shuffler ever!

MissMogwi · 19/05/2012 08:29

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

My you gear DD shuffled on her bottom until the week before her second birthday. Then she just stood up and walked. Grin

I had lots of people telling me this and that, and of course it does get to you a bit. But she was and is fine so she was just taking her time. Like the stubborn little madam she is.

MissMogwi · 19/05/2012 08:29

You gearConfused youngest

MissMogwi · 19/05/2012 08:30

Ah bum shuffled x posts! Grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/05/2012 08:58

My DD, who has autism, crawled at high speed for almost a year, we thought she would never walk..no lack of crawling there. :)

Your DS sounds fine, OP, my Dd was a Late walker (2) due to low muscle tone, she didn't even weight bear until 20 months, he will get there

iwantbrie · 19/05/2012 11:59

No need to worry at all. As soon as he starts to walk, take him to your neighbour's house to show them -and encourage him to pull up their flowers--. A comment along the lines of "anything else you want to criticise?" would be a good idea, but then again I'm pre menstrual so am in a mood... Grin

stillfeel18inside · 19/05/2012 12:24

I remember those comments! People are unbelievable - a shop assistant in a shop we went to regularly told my DS1 to "get that thumb out of your mouth" until I told her I'd spent quite a lot of time TEACHING him to suck it. (He was a marvellous sleeper!) My DS's walked at about 15 months and 16 months (both pretty nifty on their feet now, aged 11 and 13!) - don't worry, your DS will walk when he's good and ready.

MrsHelsBels74 · 19/05/2012 13:27

My son didn't walk until 15 months old. It wasn't because he was lazy & we carried him everywhere, he just wasn't ready to do it on his own...your neighbour is just ignorant, ignore her.

Shushshessleeping · 19/05/2012 14:02

I have 5 friends (I know shocking!) who had baby's within the same month. They all turned 1 in April. Only 2 of those children walk independently. 1 walked at 10 months, the other at 11 1/2 months. One walks with furniture and the other two have only just mastered crawling. Every child is different,YABU to listen to strangers bad opinions.

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