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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not buy my DDs an icecream every time I go to the local park/playground?

43 replies

ilovedjasondonovan · 16/05/2012 17:24

I'm not talking about special days out, just trips to the local big park.

Seems like all the other parents around here do on a sunny day and I don't know whether I'm just being mean.

OP posts:

marriedinwhite · 16/05/2012 17:25

I think you are being a bit mean - if you have the money to do it that is.

WorraLiberty · 16/05/2012 17:26

They're your kids

Just do what you think is best and ignore what others do with their kids.

Otherwise that mentality would never end really.

schoolchauffeur · 16/05/2012 17:28

Well it depends on how often you go in a week? If it is once or twice a week then I might- depending on what other treats/sweets/ice cream at home the DCs had had and their age and whether or not they get pocket money which is supposed to cover that sort of thing.

SoThisisMe · 16/05/2012 17:29

I actually make a point of not buying one every time, as I think if they expect it, it's no longer a treat.

If it's a special trip to a bigger park and not just the local playground then they usually get one.

SunflowersSmile · 16/05/2012 17:31

YANBU- we have a park on the way back from school. 'No' is a word that is said daily re icecream van. In the summer we may do once a week.

Shutupanddrive · 16/05/2012 17:32

YANBU

dexter73 · 16/05/2012 17:34

I would but that is because I want one and think it would be a bit mean just to get myself one!

FeedingTheBirds · 16/05/2012 17:37

We have an ice cream van here which parks directly outside the school. Most of the kids get an ice cream every single day, rain or shine, and I feel like a big ol' meanie saying no every day apart from Friday!

Ephiny · 16/05/2012 17:37

I wouldn't worry about what 'everyone else's parents' do! If you think it's too expensive or not good for them, then that's your decision to make.

It's more of a treat if they don't get it all the time anyway!

sparkle12mar08 · 16/05/2012 17:38

Of course you're not being unreasonable! Who on earth buys their child an ice cream every single trip? Ridiculous.

leguminous · 16/05/2012 17:39

YANBU. There's no reason it has to happen every single time you go. Sometimes, sure, but not every time. Otherwise it stops being a treat.

Hooleywhipper · 16/05/2012 17:43

YANBU I don't

sereneswan · 16/05/2012 17:43

YANBU. Surely getting one every trip would be unhealthy and also spoil her and not set her a good example about restraint and treats?

bakingaddict · 16/05/2012 17:44

I'm not the right person to ask as I end up getting stung for a toy each time we go to the supermarket. I admire anyone who can stand firm with their kids, yesterday I bought DS 4 some Ben10 figures and then couldn't leave DD1 out so bought her a key rattle thing and I only went in for some milk and other bits and bobs and spend £25. I need parent assertiveness classes pretty quick!

Original poster

ilovedjasondonovan · 16/05/2012 17:49

It was just the look on DD1's (nearly 6) face at the weekend really made me feel bad for saying no. Talk about sad puppy. Her sister (nearly 4) just asked one of her school friends if she could have some and they shared it with her.

I think I'd feel better if I said yes sometimes, but just sometimes. I think after 6 years of 'no' DD1 deserves a treat.

Oh, and its not really about the money. Well, it kind of is. We are a very comfortable off family and I'm acutely aware that it would be too easy to spoil them. I see buying them an ice-cream every time as spoiling them.
Also, myself and DH came from families who were struggling, so these things really were a treat. Money not a problem now, but old habits die hard.
DD1 isn't a great eater and I don't want her filled up on junk as she will barely eat her tea anyway.

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 16/05/2012 17:54

How often do you go to the park?

crazycanuck · 16/05/2012 17:55

OP your last post seems to say that you never say yes to ice cream at the park. If that's the case I think that is a bit mean. There's no harm in the occasional yes!

bakingaddict · 16/05/2012 17:57

If it's making you feel bad then you should say yes a little bit more....

It's fine not wanting to spoil them but dont take it so much to the other extreme that they see you as depriving them of things their friends get

valiumredhead · 16/05/2012 17:59

An ice cream won't spoil them anyway, giving children things doesn't spoil them, letting them get away with murder and an ungrateful attitude and not pulling them up on manners spoils them.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2012 18:01

Buying an occasional ice cream won't spoil a child.

Nor will eating a bit less tea give them malnutrition / scurvey / whatever

Lighten up!!

usualsuspect · 16/05/2012 18:02

Depends how often you go to the park if its a nice sunny day then yes I would buy them an ice cream

Ephiny · 16/05/2012 18:03

Oh I thought you were asking if YABU not to buy an ice cream every time you go to the local park, not to never ever let them have a treat!

I agree the occasional ice cream is not going to 'spoil' a child.

BrightnessFalls · 16/05/2012 18:05

Its only an ice cream and you let your 4 year old share with her friend because you wont buy her one?

Well, our cafe is at the local park. You find as time goes on they stop asking because the novelty wears off. We get them one everytime they ask because, I like a 99 myself. If they are burning it off whilst running around the park, I dont mind. They dont ask everytime. Sometimes if you withold they just want the thing more.

quickhide · 16/05/2012 19:30

If we go to the big park (once a week maybe) and if it's sunny we usually get an icecream. Given we don't live in Australia it doesn't actually happen that often!

If I was the other child's parents and my DD shared her icecream with your DD because you didn't buy her one I would think you were quite stingy, to be honest.

quickhide · 16/05/2012 19:30

If we go to the big park (once a week maybe) and if it's sunny we usually get an icecream. Given we don't live in Australia it doesn't actually happen that often!

If I was the other child's parents and my DD shared her icecream with your DD because you didn't buy her one I would think you were quite stingy, to be honest.

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