to not buy my DDs an icecream every time I go to the local park/playground?

[ilovedjasondonovan]

I'm not talking about special days out, just trips to the local big park.

Seems like all the other parents around here do on a sunny day and I don't know whether I'm just being mean.

I was going to say YANBU, as I rarely buy ice creams when we go to the park either, and there's always a great big ice cream van parked there.
I do occasionally let them have one though. Every now and again isn't going to hurt!

Jesalou buy your kids an ice cream and don't let them scrounge off other kids!!!

I can't believe you let her share her friend's ice cream! I really hope you return the favour next time you go. Buy your kids an ice cream and enjoy the fact you have money now, and stop trying to make a point.

if its not a money issue and you let your dd share someone elses ice cream other than buy one yourself ... i reckon your are bu and totally mean.

and if you left her share someone elses ice cream then the point you were making about ruining her appetite is BS. i can imagine what the mum of the other child you did own the ice cream was thinking.

YNBU, but not really fair on her friend to share her one. Have you tried having something else in your bag to offer as an alternative (like a little candy lolly) or having some cheaper ice lollies in your freezer at home and promising her one of those for after her tea?
I'm with you in a lot of respects IlovedJason because the cost of these lollies can add up and you don't always want them to expect things. That said, simple pleasures. Sometimes an extra pound here or there is worth that smile on their face and peace of mind for you too!

I agree with thisisme & I don't see how your being mean. They cant expect a treat every time.

You should do whatever you want with your kids.

I'm a bit about the 'seems like all the other parents round here do...' thing. Do you see those parents buying an ice cream every single time they're out with their children on a sunny day?

For me, we have lots of parks to choose from round here, but only one where ice cream is available to buy, so if we go to that park I'd probably get dcs an ice cream. We don't go there all the time.

OP - in spite of my post, I used to say no a lot. Once in John Lewis, when we were buying birthday presents in the toy department, dd who had been looking at the Barbies, (about 5 or 6) ran across with one to the checkout and said "mummy can I have this". I said "no" and she obediently went to put it back on the counter. I little voice from within asked why I said no so often and I called out "darling no, bring it back you can have it I hardly ever buy you anything". Her absolute joy was very humbling and from that moment I stopped being so mean when it wasn't necessary. And if I say no now, (she's 14) she still accepts it.

Marriedinwhite. I love your story. Your daughter sounds great, and you lovely.

cant you get germs licking each others icecreams?

I wouldn't get one every time by a long margin.

However as children we never bought from an ice cream van, and it was a really rare treat to get one from the shop. Perhaps when on holiday-and we only went every other year away until I was older. We didn't have a freezer at home either, so we rarely had one.
I just remember the sadness I used to feel when it felt like every other child had one and knowing that there was no point even asking.

I'm probably much more generous on that basis for my dc if they have friends having them.

DeWe my MIL, who is now 76, still harbours resentment that as a child she couldn't have an ice-cream and even now tells us how she's never had a 99 because it's so extravagant.

marriedinwhite I also challenge myself when I seem to be saying 'no' a lot. You're right about the absolute joy that a 'yes' can bring. A 'spoilt' child would not be so pleased about getting a yes because they would expect nothing less.

DS often but not always gets a treat like an ice cream, but I prefer it to be not near a mealtime and not always, so it's not taken for granted. Everything in moderation?

Yanbu. We have an ice cream van comes round nearly every day and some children have one every time. Mine don't. Sometimes they do of course but it's not each and every time. I couldn't afford it as much as anything.

I do keep frozen ice pops in my freezer though which they like, are not £ and are more available to them.

Dont you find though, that they dont always ask for one on everytrip to the park. I know its usually me who's asking them if they want one. I really dont think that buying them an icecream is indulging them. Saying no is just like hiding the sweetie jar, makes them long for something more. Abit cruel really.

And, I can only go for my DN's but my sister would go up the roof if she saw another child licking her daughters icecream. Especially if she had an inkling that the parents werent too poor to buy one. I have often seen my sister and BIL buy random children icecreams because they have been stood next too my nieces, watching them eat theirs. Licking is a no no though.

YANBU, but then you are asking the wrong person as my DD had a full on, throw herself to the floor, screaming tantrum the other week as we left the park. I said no calmly and walked off, leaving other people to wonder who the childs parent was. Cue looking faces from people until i pointed at the ice cream van and it turned into a .

I then produced a bag of buttons for her one she had calmed down and if we see a van she doesn't demand it.