...to not give my seat up on the Metro?

[holmesgirl]

I do if someone is really old or heavily pregnant, but other than that I don't. I'm mid-thirties and I always feel bad if there is someone say in their sixties standing. If I start offering my seat a) I may offend someone and b) will be standing every day on my forty mins return journey.

What do you do?

I give up my seat to anyone who looks in greater need. I'm a bit older than you, but would expect that to include, as well as the pregnant, the injured and the laden, and older people especially if they look tired.

No one has ever expressed any signs of offence. And I've been grateful when seats have been given up for me.

If there are no other seats, I offer my seat. I always try and sit away from the doors so that those less steady on their feet can take advantage of seats nearer the doors.

One day it will be you who needs that seat and no bugger will offer it to you.

So yes, YABU and bad-mannered.

Always offer if the person is less able than me to stand. Elderly, infirm, pregnant, with kids etc. I don't care about offending people if they choose to see a good natured offer as anything I hadn't intended.

I always offer. Most people in their sixties say no thank you, but are pleased to be offered.

I would also give up my seat for someone with a young one or baby. I once had to stand on a bus trying to hold two two year olds and a four year old - not fun!

Also it depends what I have been doing. If I've been on my feet then I'm less generous. If I've been sat down behind a desk then I welcome the chance to have a break from sitting.

On the underground I try to avoid sitting in the seats allocated to 'special needs' to reduce this dilemma a bit. Quite often though, the people in those seats don't seem to relinquish them to those in need.

I'd give up my seat to a pregnant, disabled or injured person or to an elderly person. It's hard to judge age; generally if someone looks like they're still able-bodied and working I wouldn't feel I had to offer. On the other hand my mum is in her seventies, looks relatively youthful and still works part-time and I'd hope someone would give her a seat so despite the above, I'm inclined to offer them a seat.

Sorry I should have included those with young ones too - I offer my seat to those, in fact did that today.

Sometimes I just want to enjoy my journey and read rather than keeping a look out for anyone who needs the seat most.

I always offer and put my D on my lap on a busy tube to free up another seat. I remember in Miami on a tube type train (obviously they aren't much used to public transport TBF) a poor girl with her leg in plaster was left standing. I gave up my seat but she looked very surprised and everyone else looked amazed. I did put on my best British accent to make it obvious that I was foreign and not some nutter though!

When I was very pregnant and commuting on the underground I simply asked the people sitting in the special need seats to let me have the seat (as long as their need wasn't greater, of course).

I would offer if the person was in greater need than me but to be honest, I dont class someone in their sixties as particularly old so no, unless they looked like they need it I wouldnt offer it up to them.

I do give my seat up if I think someone needs it - although I travelled 40 mins each way on the Metro whilst obviously pregnant and was NEVER once offered a seat! I DO begrudge older people getting on the Metro in rush hour with lots of shopping and expecting a seat though - surely they can shop and get home any other time of the day but rush hour??

What betty said:many some people in their 60s are fitter and more sprightly than me. OTOH, there are people with nasty illnesses in their 20s & 30s. I'd offer my seat to anyone who looked like they were struggling to stand (plus the obvious e.g. pg, holding children, disabled), not really go on age apart from for the very elderly.

"I DO begrudge older people getting on the Metro in rush hour with lots of shopping and expecting a seat though - surely they can shop and get home any other time of the day but rush hour??"

WTF? What gives you the right to start dictating when others should and shouldn't travel on the tube? What gives you the idea that they may not have other commitments and not be able to travel only when it's convenient to you? Or the idea that older people "expect" a seat?

Talk about self entitled!

A hoody wearing teenage boy offered me his seat at the bus shelter the other day. I'm mid 20s and slim (i.e. def not pregnant looking). I did have both a rucksack and laptop bag on at the same time though. Was I offended? Nope - I said thank you and sat down :)

For the record, I stand and have stood for others more in need than me, especially the elderly, throughout pregnancies and throughout long commutes to and from work. The only time I've ever kept my seat in favour of someone also in need was once, when I was on my way home from hospital and although I looked like a healthy mid-30's woman I was on my way home having had treatment for cancer.

Frankly I'm amazed that there are any elderly people on the Tube - thought they were all parked in P&C spaces.

*AnyoneforTurps>>

It really costs nothing to be nice and have a bit of compassion. I have taught dd to also give up her seat on the bus/metro. I am gobsmacked by how many people just plug into their music and sit reading (usually whilst using a seat for their bag ) - people who are my age and should know bloody better. It really bugs me.

Not 'entitled' when I have been shoved out of the way by said trio of older ladies with shopping whilst pg after a hard day at work. They demanded asked 3 people for their seats (people who had obviously been at work too) and then had a very loud conversation about how they felt sorry for all the 'workers' and how they had enjoyed their shopping day.

I stand by what I said - those who do have all day to please themselves should take rush hour into consideration when planning their day - makes perfect sense that if shoppers left for home a little earlier or later then rush hour would be easier all round.

Does it make a difference if I say I have really big b**bs and it hurts my back to stand for forty minutes? I still feel selfish...

"I DO begrudge older people getting on the Metro in rush hour with lots of shopping and expecting a seat though - surely they can shop and get home any other time of the day but rush hour??"

I long for the day when you get older. Because I'm sure you'll be careful about hiding yourself away until some pre-determined convenient "any other time", lest younger passengers are forced to share your geriatric air.

I give my seat to people who look like they need it more than I do. Sadly, I actually need that seat more than I appear to at first glance (mid twenties, not pregnant, healthy looking - but have invisible disability that means yes, I do need the bloody seat) and thus get a lot of dirty looks for not standing up for people whose only qualification for needing the seat appears to be that they're older than I am. If they're older and limping, or walking slowly, or not balanced and might fall over once the bus moves - sure, have the seat, I'll probably fall over too but I'm less likely to break something. If they're 60 but walk better than I do, I'm staying right where I am.

Oh do get off your high horse - travelling at easier times would be better for everyone - I damn well won't choose to travel during a hellish rush hour when i'm older - why would I willingly put myself through the tortyre when I could plan an easier journey. Wonder how many of you baulking at my honesty actually use public transport in the rush hour...

I do. I have the misfortune to be riding an older high horse but I'm not quite sure why this makes my work-based need to travel at rush hour any less than yours.