...to not give my seat up on the Metro?

[holmesgirl]

I do if someone is really old or heavily pregnant, but other than that I don't. I'm mid-thirties and I always feel bad if there is someone say in their sixties standing. If I start offering my seat a) I may offend someone and b) will be standing every day on my forty mins return journey.

What do you do?

Read my posts - I was referring to those stacked with shopping bags who'd obviously been having a day out, not other workers

I tend to not sit down at all if I get on at a time when I know it will get busy, as it just saves me getting up later on!

I hate being on the Metro at about 4 o'clockish as it's packed with secondary school kids, and if elderly/disabled/pregnant people get on the kids never get up for them. In fact often they are sprawled across 2 seats or have their bags on extra seats.

I once told someone in the priority seat to give their seat to a really frail old woman who had just got on. I was sitting opposite, and she wouldn't have been able to have her shopping trolley next to her where I was, but could by the priority seat. So I told the lad (approx 18), 'you can sit here if you like but I really think you should let that lady sit on your seat.' Then I got up and he looked a bit ashamed and stood up as well.

Actually, I already avoid using the train when I know it's going to be very busy with commuters and schoolchildren. Purely because of the lack of space.

I can't imagine I'll be any different when I am old. Why wouldn't you plan to catch a slightly earlier/later train to avoid the crowds and having to stand?

I would give the seat up to someone who looked like they needed it. Not based on their age.

So your experience of the behaviour of three - yes, just three elder ladies gives you some sort of god-given right to wish to dictate when and the rest of the elder population can travel yes, Babycameearly? And you honestly don't think that displays a very unpleasant and selfish sense of entitlement?

Words fail me.

What about those having to get to hospital appointments that might well be early? There are all kinds of reasons that someone might have to travel at rush hour.

Folkgirl, older people do have commitments too you know. Some care for other relatives, some for grandchildren, some might be getting the 5pm train back so they can be picked up at the station or meet the once every 2 hourly bus to their village. I could go on for hours with examples. The fact is that neither you nor I know why a stranger to us might opt to travel at a particular time because it's none of our business to know. Nor is it our business to tell them that they can't.

I'm more impressed that the OP managed to get a seat in the first place

I had a good success rate with getting a seat when I lived in London, although it was probably a combination of luck and shamelessness :o.

However, I always gave up my seat for those I thought needed it more than I, and personally, I would include people who are in their 60s in my criteria. Even if they decline, at least I can feel I've done the right thing by offering.

Babycame, yes, I use rush-hour public transport.

I start at the beginning of the line Ithink :o

I offer my seat to anyone who looks in more need than me, and I do my best to avoid sitting in the seats nearest the doors, whenever possible.
I have also been known to comment loudly (when I am standing) to anyone who looks in need of a seat and is not offered one that I would gladly give up my seat for them if I had one...this has been known to shame some people into getting up!

If your journey starts at the beginning of the line, then sit in the middle seats (is this Newcastle metro?) nearest the window and I'd be very surprised if anyone wants your seat. Problem solved and you don't lose face.

Graham Fair enough.

But I do also think sometimes people who are able to plan their travel might do well to avoid rush hour times if they can.

I'd rather risk offending someone by offering them my seat than not to offer at all.
I will offer my seat to older people, obviously pregnant people, people with young children/babies, people with disabilities, etc.

I have to say that when we used the subway in New York everytime we got on with a child someone always stood up and offered us their seat - every single time on both visits there, and we used the subway a lot. Even if we declined many insisted. It was very very different to our experiences in London.

Even the healthiest of older people can struggle to stand on moving vehicles, I wouldn't think twice of offering my seat to someone who obviously needed it more than me. I struggle to stand due to a knee problem but my needs are less than those of many

Graham I think you have over-reacted a tad. No - it wasn't just the 3 ladies - that was one example. I have travelled on the Metro for over 8 years - I'm sure you don't want me to bore you with every observation I make.

I stand by my wish that those who can travel at alternative times do so. This does not make me a wannabe dictator. It makes me a person who would prefer to travel in a slightly less crowded environment. I also think it would be better and safer for those older than working age to travel at quieter times if they can as we all know that they are not always offered a seat. Fwiw I probably get a seat on about 1 sixth of my journeys.

Agree with you babycameearly. My gran is in her late 80s and gets about by bus (fiercely independent despite being blind bless her). She wouldn't dream of travelling during the rush hour.

Surely this is common sense. I would avoid the rush hour like the plague if I had a choice. I always give my seat up for the elderly, but I admit I do so begrudgingly in the height of rush hour when I'm shattered after a 12 hr day. That doesn't make me entitled, it makes me rational!

We'd all avoid the rush hour if we wanted to travel more comfortably but I hate the idea that public transport belongs to anyone at any particular time. The clue is in the title - public. I look forward to the reaction on here if old people start telling us not to book appointments at the GP's surgery other than at the weekend because weekdays are for them...

The world is crowded. It's a fact of life. Civilised behaviour makes it bearable.

BTW a man once offered me a seat just because (I think) I looked tired and deflated. I nearly cried with gratefulness. I had actually just had an MC and although physically ok was just low and sad. I often think of him and try to do the same - just get up if someone looks like they have had enough.

Thanks heavens for another sensible view HowAbout - comes to something when you get flamed for putting forward a wish that might make a journey that most of us dread a tiny bit easier!

babycameearly I completely agree!!!!! Another thing that riles me is older people (and by this I don't mean elderly) pushing their way up the line. I commute by bus, and did so while heavily pregnant and a 60 something thought it was her god given right (talk about entitlement) to jump the queue, in front of me, which meant I didn't get a seat. This happens a lot on my bus, if it was someone in need if elderly I would let them in in front of me, but not some retired la dee da going shopping for the day who thinks because she is older than me she is entitled!