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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go out when the HV is meant to be coming?

52 replies

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 16/05/2012 10:06

I gave birth to DS (DC2) on Friday, HV is due to visit today at some point.
However I'm desperate to get outside, take DD to the park, get some fresh air etc. What with all this interesting weather Hmm I've felt a bit couped up.
I hate the idea of wasting a day indoors when it's lovely outside, just for a 20 minute visit by the HV.
We would only be 5 minutes away anyway, in case she came when we were out, so I could just come back home.

OP posts:
SuchProspects · 16/05/2012 10:09

If she hasn't given you a time and you don't have an urgent need to see her then going out sounds like a very good idea.

Can you call her or her office to let her know you can be back in 5 mins if she calls?

andiem · 16/05/2012 10:10

I would when I had my post birth visit for ds2 the HV was 4 hours late no apology or anything had loads to do was furious with her!!!!

Original poster
BobbysBeardOfWonder · 16/05/2012 10:15

There was no time given for her coming. DS is feeding well & I have no issues; can't see it's that urgent really Smile
Is it even compulsory? Confused

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 16/05/2012 10:15

I would. I would also phone the surgery/mobile and leave a message for her so that she doesn't have a wasted journey.

But yes, I'd do that.

redexpat · 16/05/2012 10:15

I'm sure she would understand, even if she is a bit put out. Is the area where you live safe enough to leave a note on the front door? Otherwise what Prospects said.

AKMD · 16/05/2012 10:16

I'd leave her a message and go.

Original poster
BobbysBeardOfWonder · 16/05/2012 10:18

Smile hooray!

OP posts:
pumpkinsweetie · 16/05/2012 10:22

Give her a message then go out and enjoy the sun with your new baby.
My HVs used to do this and it was very irratating as we couldn't go out until she had been which was sometimes as late as 5pm!

MaidenDevon · 16/05/2012 10:24

I hated this after I had DD - waiting in for midwives and HV who couldn't even give an indication of whether it would be a morning or afternoon visit - I wasn't one for sitting around in my pyjamas all day waiting for someone to examine the carnage that was my undercarriage.

First few days fine, but after a couple of weeks it wore thin so we just left a message saying we were going out. I'm sure you're big girl and if you've got any issues you know where they are - go and breathe some fresh air Smile, oh and congratulations on your new arrival!

StarshitTerrorise · 16/05/2012 10:27

This is part of the strategy to ensure that you stay at home and rest iirc which you are supposed to be doing. My friend thinks it is also to get a snap shot of you when you are unprepared to see if you are coping

nancerama · 16/05/2012 10:30

I did. She ended up at the hospital thinking I'd been readmitted. It hadn't occurred to her that me and DS needed some fresh air.

She came back a day or two later and made an appointment this time Wink

Floggingmolly · 16/05/2012 10:31

Well, at least let her know!!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 10:32

I'd just go out. If they won't commit to a time then what do they expect?!

Ithinkitsjustme · 16/05/2012 10:35

Ring and give her your mobile number so she can call you when she's on her way. I think you should go out if you feel like it (don't overdo it though, you've got ot walk back as well) but you shouldn't just leave her to knock on the door and discover that you have gone out when she has made an appointment.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 10:37

She hasn't made an appointment though Ithinkitsjustme; she will basically turn up at a time convenient to her and her schedule at anytime today, and the OP is being expected to just sit in the house and wait for her. That's not an appointment.

TroublesomeEx · 16/05/2012 10:37

Have just read OP and realised baby is less than a week old.

Don't go too far!

pumpkinsweetie · 16/05/2012 10:40

I was out shopping with dc4 on day two op will be fine-fresh air does everyone good, being cooped up isnt healthy for long periods.
I remember with my dc4 health visitor expected me to stay in all day and wait with four kids!!
I said to her i wouldnt be doing this as my other dcs would get bored, so she had to give me either morning or afternoon

seeker · 16/05/2012 10:43

Ring her though. There will be people who need her, so don't make her wste time coming to you when you're not in!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 10:44

It's very 1950s all this 'stay in and wait all day and don't do anything until your baby is at least 4 weeks old'

TroublesomeEx · 16/05/2012 10:45

That's pretty much the advice I had Hex!

DS and I were in hospital for a week, DD for 2. I was terrified of taking DS out for the first time!

Thatisnotitatall · 16/05/2012 10:51

I agree call and leave a message that you are going out, any your mobile.

I also agree don't walk too far - I took my older 2 and new baby for the walk the big ones and I had been doing a couple of times every week (about 1.5 miles each way) a couple of weeks after DC3 was born, felt fine until we were almost to the playground we play at before turning back, then suddenly realised I was bleeding really heavily and had to sit on a bench for a long time before coming home very slowly!

WorraLiberty · 16/05/2012 10:51

Yes just leave a message and go.

It used to piss me off when the midwife or HV would turn up bang on 8.45am when they knew that was school run time.

One cheeky Midwife actually expected to sit in my house and wait until I got back Hmm

I told her to go and wait in the car or come back later.

lattelov3r · 16/05/2012 10:52

personally i think you gave birth 5 days ago stay in and rest! isnt it still the midwife coming for first 10 days? if you must go out at least call and let her know

thebody · 16/05/2012 10:59

God when I was a district nurse it was manna from
Heaven if a patient was out, very rare.

Call her and go out, after dc4 I only saw her once anyway as she was so crap and I kinda felt that if I didn't know the ropes by now I never would.

However beware that u may feel on a high and want to go out but don't go too far as you will tire easily.

Congratulations on baby

WorraLiberty · 16/05/2012 11:01

latte why should she stay in and rest if she doesn't want to/need to?

I'd be going stir crazy by now.