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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go out when the HV is meant to be coming?

52 replies

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 16/05/2012 10:06

I gave birth to DS (DC2) on Friday, HV is due to visit today at some point.
However I'm desperate to get outside, take DD to the park, get some fresh air etc. What with all this interesting weather Hmm I've felt a bit couped up.
I hate the idea of wasting a day indoors when it's lovely outside, just for a 20 minute visit by the HV.
We would only be 5 minutes away anyway, in case she came when we were out, so I could just come back home.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 16/05/2012 11:02

I was out with my dd2 after 2 days up in our local park. It was June, so nice and warm, and sunny. Did her the power of good, and me.
Do just phone and leave her a message. As my hv said, she usually deals with 'problem families' most of the time, so she won't know what her day holds.

startail · 16/05/2012 11:04

Go out, the sun is shining.

mollymole · 16/05/2012 11:05

Phone and leave her a message, whilst you do not have a fixed time appointment it is not fair on the NHS - why should she have a wasted journey.

Original poster
BobbysBeardOfWonder · 16/05/2012 11:05

Well I'm in the park now which is 5 mins walk from my house Smile
I left a note on the door with my mobile number; I couldn't call her as I wasn't given her number.
This sun is definitely helping me recover Grin

OP posts:
klaxon · 16/05/2012 11:07

Hurrah - have an ice cream!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 11:08

If the NHS are that bothered about wasted journeys then they could implement a fairer and more considerate system and give appointments or at least time slots when they will visit.

seeker · 16/05/2012 11:11

True. But no reason for us to behave equally inconsiderately.

TroublesomeEx · 16/05/2012 11:11

Enjoy the sun!

Original poster
BobbysBeardOfWonder · 16/05/2012 11:14

Don't think I'm being inconsiderate though: I don't have her number to call but left mine on a note saying I can get back within 5 mins. Surely getting fresh air would indicate a positive recovery etc?

OP posts:
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 11:14

When I had my DS I was so fed up with having to wait in for midwives and HVs that I started insisting upon an appointment time, and I said that unless they gave me an appointment then I would probably be out when I called as I had a busy day planned that day. Funnily enough they were always able to give me an appointment and stuck to it.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 16/05/2012 11:17

Hell yeah I'd go out! I know they must have loads to do but really why can't they ever give a ballpark guess as to when they'll come round?! Did my head in both times. You get told to rest when baby sleeps but you can't really (well I can't) if you know someone is meant to be coming round at some point.

seeker · 16/05/2012 11:17

Sorry, bobby- no, I think you did exactly the right thing. It was the well it's her fault if you're not in brigade I have an issue with.

Bet there's a hailstorm the minute you get to the park......

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 11:18

I am of the belief that healthcare professionals are there for just that; healthcare!! They are not there to dictate to me, run my life, or tell me to stay in my home all day

seeker · 16/05/2012 11:20

No. Which is why you lead your life the way you want to- but let them know that you won't be in. So Rhys don't waste their time and my money and do visit people who want to be visited.

helenthemadex · 16/05/2012 11:20

go out and enjoy the fresh air, just dont over do it

the problem with the appointment idea is that you never know what you are going to face when you turn up at a house it could be a simple ten minute check on a very healthy mum and a baby who is feeding well etc but it could also be a mum who is not coping at all and the visit takes 2 hours. however they should be able to say morning or afternoon

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 11:28

Seeker, I have not said at any point that if i was to go out I wouldn't leave a note or a message first, nor have I said at any point that I think the OP should do that. My point is that there are undoubtedly thousands of women that do just go out and don't leave a message and hence there is a wasted journey for the MW or HV. If an appointment system was used then this may avoid those wasted journeys.

helenthemadex, I realise what you're saying, which is why I suggested 'windows' of time so that patients have a rough idea of when to expect the visit and can plan their day accordingly. It's not much different to, say supermarket deliveries is it? I just had mine delivered, in a 2 hour window, the driver came and said he was glad mine was a quick 5-minute drop off as he had been at the previous one for over half an hour as there was a long walk from the van to the house and then there were problems with the order. If the driver is going to be later than the 2 hour window chosen, then they phone the customer. I can't see why HVs are unable, out of an 8 or 9 hour day, to offer any timeslots at all to those that they perceive to be quick, run of the mill cases. I have actually heard from a friend that is a health care professional that HVs don't give appointments as they like to suit themselves and their needs (for breaks, lunch break etc) and don't want to be accountable for having to be anywhere.

Get0rfMoiLand · 16/05/2012 11:33

I think you were very considerate to leave a note with your number - it is a beautiful day so is good that you are out and about.

Pandemoniaa · 16/05/2012 11:34

It drove me mad this waiting around for the HV! When I had ds1 I was much more compliant - and also tended to think the baby would implode if I missed a visit. When I had ds2, I really didn't have the time to hang about indoors all day especially since ds1 was only 18 months old and needed fresh air as much as I did.

So YANBU in popping 5 minutes down the road, OP. Especially if you've left a note on the door.

SCOTCHandWRY · 16/05/2012 11:35

With DS4 (18months), we had lots of extra visits in addition to the usual, as DS4 had been unwell with jaundice and was not thriving. I had to adopt a strong line of "come any time IN THE AFTERNOON" as I will be out in the mornings until 1pm doing things. Yes, every morning, HV, I have friends to visit, parks to visit (not quite true but waiting in all bloody day for a 10min app just not on)!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 11:42

I can honestly say that I've never had a good or decent HV, they've all been dictatorial dragons. HV with DD1 wrote on my notes that I should 'pull myself together' when I had PND. HV with DD2 told my FIL, whom she knows socially, that I had PND and told him to 'keep an eye on his granddaughter'. I complained about them both.

HV with DS has been ok, have barely seen her though.

SCOTCHandWRY · 16/05/2012 11:44

Hex, I think "barely seeing" them is the best policy, where possible!

pumpkinsweetie · 16/05/2012 11:47

I agree only see them when needed, gps are there for any health problems anyway

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 16/05/2012 11:50

I totally agree Scotch.

starfishmummy · 16/05/2012 12:05

Our HV never forgave me for being out whshe came, it en was frequently for one of her visits. She HAD given us a time, and we'd gone to the park but were back 15 minutes before she was due, only to find that she had been (and left a snotty note). Seems it was my fault for not being a mind reader!

amieis · 16/05/2012 12:46

I only saw my hv once and now am sent to a clinic to see one there...they only operate for 4 hours one day a week and its a go in and wait kind of place! Not at all amusing when you walk in one week and there's 10 other mums waiting to be seen before you, so therefore you have to wait hours to be seen, but next visit is in and out!

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