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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

bastard bastard bastard bank. HSBC. refrained from using the C word - just.

108 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 15/05/2012 22:09

i have an adult son with autism who recently took my bank card and pin and withdrew large sums of money, which has sent us into an unauthorised overdraft.

The HSBC have charged us over £200 in bank charges for this privilege.

It is going to cost over £800 to apply through the court of protection to take control of DS finances as he has no capacity with money, and as well as taking money from us he has got into masses of debt with pay day loan companies etc.

Tonight i rang the HSBC and explained the situation, and explained that the money was taken from our account without our knowledge or consent by our adult autistic son, that we have taken steps to prevent it happening again, and i asked if they could waive any of the charges given the circumstances.

they kept me on hold for ages. really. ages.
then said no.
tough.
pay up

I feel like taking out a bloody loan with another bank, just so i can pay the overdraft off and tell them to fuck off to the far side of fuck, the money grabbing, grasping, bastards.

why, do people just insist on piling on the misery? i dont know whether to laugh or cry to be honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 15/05/2012 22:56

and i should not drink in a "school" night.....sorry for being a maudling arse.

DD isnt speaking to me either. i need a clear head for tomorrow as i need to pass this driving thing....pretty vital really now.

so. i shall take my sorry arse to bed and try to relax and forget about the bastard bank. for now.
thank you all.
tomorrow will be better.

OP posts:
seeingstars · 15/05/2012 22:56

Hope things look brighter tommorrow OP.x

FunnysInLaJardin · 15/05/2012 22:57

HSBC are total crap. I was with them for about 25 years, when I needed help they basically told me to piss off. I moved to RBSI who are much nicer! and when things are difficult, much more helpful. We prob would have lost our house if it wasn't for them.

FunnysInLaJardin · 15/05/2012 22:58

sorry about the random '!'

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 15/05/2012 23:00

yes but i didnt give my my ipad. or my card. or my pin. and i am still liable. he is 20. and i am still liable. and the realisation dawned that i will be liable for ever and ever for whatever he does, until i die.

ah well.

off to do my hypnotherapy cd and try to sleep. really now. and pour the wine down the sink.

i realise IABU really. but i rang the bank on the off chance of a smidgen of compassion.

ha!
should have known better.
right. really offski now.

OP posts:
lisaro · 15/05/2012 23:01

It's shit but if you knew what your son was like with money then you shouldn't have given him access to your card, and certainly not your pin number, which you obviously have. If the police aren't involved then you could possibly be trying it on to get out of the charges (I actually don't think you are). You really do need to take some responsibility here.

GrahamTribe · 15/05/2012 23:01

I've pm'd you vicar. And good luk with the driving test. :)

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 15/05/2012 23:03

Vicar, I know it's another battle. But it's worth a letter to someone higher up?

FunnysInLaJardin · 15/05/2012 23:04

yes, if it's compassion you're after, don't go to HSBC. It cost me a few hundred quid in fees to move to RBS, but so worth it. Stuff like not closing my account when they said they would and then allowing a payment to go though and then charging me £££ for being overdrawn. Arrrrgh

seeingstars · 15/05/2012 23:04

How did he get the pin vicar? Confused

pumpkinsweetie · 15/05/2012 23:06

Banks are just money grabbers and will take what they can get most of the time.
In this incidence you would think they would waver the charges Angry
I would switch banks get another overdraft as they clearly haven't taken your situation into account and then tell them thanks for nothing.
Llyods tsb are like this!- my grandad before he died had altzhimers so my uncles had power of attorney but Lloyds had allowed my grandad to withdraw £800 he didnt have regardless of the attorney being inplace! There was a lot of charges from this too, my poor grandad gave his £800 to shop keeper for a 'antique ring' which was absolutley worthless all because Llyods let him have the money he thought he had £800 when he didnt

ToryLovell · 15/05/2012 23:07

Vicar hugs one step at a time.

Sleep as well as you can tonight, and good luck with your test tomorrow.

Then fight the bank afterwards.

I think that twitter seems to be a good way to get their PR people working on your case, so it might be worth getting someone who knows what they are talking about - ie not me - to um do something with hashtags and stuff so that HSBC pick this up and redeem themselves for their frankly shitty treatment.

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 15/05/2012 23:08

i am trying not to laugh. the police are involved. sort of. well one is.

seriously, had this argument with DH, because initially i wanted to report him for theft, and DH didnt. And DH is right.
it will do no good because he will not learn from it, and as he has no previous he would likely get a caution anyway, would just stay on file and probably prevent him from getting a job.

he has never stolen from anyone other than me, and i am fair game cos im mum. he is autistic.
im not stupid. i realise i have to pay the charges. and i realise why, though i did not give him my card or pin.
card now lives with me where ever i go. i sleep with it.

right, i must stop this for tonight, thanks to those who have offered support.

OP posts:
JesusWept · 15/05/2012 23:08

Lisaro, full of sympathy as ever... I have read Vicar's other posts about her son, I am sure as sure she did not give him access to her card. Fwiw - Vicar is in the police force.

Good luck for you driving test tomorrow.

Lots of love to you Vicar (tis me... Me that lives where you used to...)

TheSecondComing · 15/05/2012 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kelly2525 · 15/05/2012 23:26

Vicar Read this thread gain and do what Puggy suggested.

I would guess you're feeling like saying fuck it, I don't care anymore, I'll pay the charges and forget it, don't do that, fight it, you've nothing to lose have you? The worst that can happen is the ombudsman agrees with the bank, but if Puggy is right then you'll have a small victory over the fucker that kept you hanging on the phone for so long, even if they won't know that.

Then you can close your account, ring them and tell them why, and go elsewhere.

Good luck with the test tomorrow.

suburbophobe · 15/05/2012 23:27

Ah, Vicar, I really feel for you. I remember another thread about this from you. God, it must be exhausting for you (as a single mum I could relate to the bit about always having to cope, non-stop).

And you always give such great advice on other threads.

Crossing my fingers for your test tomorrow.

perceptionreality · 15/05/2012 23:31

omg - poor you Vicar. How old is your ds? The banks are mercenary.

LossDePlott · 15/05/2012 23:31

You need to go higher with this. Take to twitter and fight it once you have exhausted all avenues at branch level. You will be refunded.

BenderBendingRodriguez · 15/05/2012 23:39

Sorry to hear this Vicar, I know you've got more than enough on your plate already atm. Might it be worth writing to one of the consumer bods in the media? Tony whatisname in the Guardian or similar? Might give your elbow a bit of extra power.

maddening · 16/05/2012 06:44

If you can show that you weren't negligent with your pin and he obtained it another way then you should be able to get the money back - can he explain how he got the pin?

Ben10NeverAgain · 16/05/2012 07:12

I work for a bank (not HSBC) and worked in complaints for years. I also have a much smaller son with AS.

IME Complaints to the CEO were dealt with very seriously and at priority to all other complaints. While they didn't always say yes, I must say that all CEO complaints relating to my part of the business were funnelled to the best complaints handlers with the most experience and more consideration was given than just the standard policy "no" that you will have got from the contact centre.

I was going to explain how to do this but found this article. Email Stuart Gulliver with your complaint.

While technically they are right that the charges are correct if your son was able to guess your pin because you had a sequence ie 1234 or a DOB or you had given it to him before, his condition may mean that they are lenient and refund you the charges. I have had lots of charges refunded by HSBC before. They are able to do so, the contact centre just won't.

All the best

Noqontrol · 16/05/2012 07:16

Ring the ombudsman. Definitely. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Voidka · 16/05/2012 07:18

YANBU - HSBC are bastards and I am so happy I managed to move all my accounts.

Sorry to hear how they are treating you. Would speaking to your MP help?

Ben10NeverAgain · 16/05/2012 07:19

The FOS won't get involved Noqontrol other than sending a letter to HSBC with a one line description of her complaint. They will give them 8 weeks to answer her complaint.

She needs to complain to HSBC first and ideally to the CEO to get the best results.