Do you think it's the place of a GP to warn you of decreasing fertility over 35 when giving you a prescription for contraceptive?

[TheCountessOlenska]

I am not sure what I think!

On the one hand - your GP knows nothing of your life and choices, so it's not really their business.

On the other hand - I guess they don't want to see you come back wanting IVF in a few years and feel that they didn't warn you? (or maybe it could be a concern about the drain on NHS funds!)

This actually happened to someone I know and she's only 30! She was

My DH is 9y younger than I am and would have preferred to wait until he was 35 before becoming a Dad. I gave him a choice - either change that life plan or find someone else to have that life plan with, because I could not afford to wait that long. Because his aunt had his cousin at around 45 (3rd child), he thought it would be ok. So glad he saw it my way...

I think the GP was right to say something. Just because the information is out there doesn't mean that their patient knows that information. I had complications during my pregnancy and I was 30/31. My obn told me it was great that I was south of 35 and in good health before I got pregnant. Based on my first pregnancy she wants me trying for #2 sooner rather than later.

I was surprised to find that mothers I have met after having DD are all at least 5 years older than me and the majority had fertility treatments to get pregnant with multiple miscarriages (most had at least one miscarriage) and a still birth along the way (my friend and her DH still go to therapy 4 years and a little boy later). The psychological effects of infertlity are huge.

Exactly so, Worra.

OP... Were you trying to start a feminist bunfight? If so, a shame you were thwarted by the dogged commonsense of AIBU...

Yes perfectly reasonable but it should be at 30.

It took me 7 years of IVF etc to have my dc and I started before 30.If I hadn't I doubt very much that I would have had my 3 dc today.

If you look on hospital charts you can see how much your chances decrease as you get older.

Far too many women think oh I'll just have IVF not realising how low the chances are it'll work below 30 let alone 35.Women need to be better informed.Children meant a big deal to me so I read up on it(thank God),lots of women are oblivious.

I don't think "only 30" is a correct reaction, anyway. If a woman wants one child, there's a good chance she might plan on two. Maybe three. And she probably wants an age gap longer than nine months! Probably more than three years, because of nursery fees.

Suddenly we have a very tight schedule, and 30 isn't "only 30", is it? Women need information.

I agree Thebig,can't rem the optimum age for ttc.

Re no2 gps perhaps should also point out how fertile you can be after having a baby so get cracking soon after if you want more and are over 30/35.I conceived dd naturally 6 months after the d ivf twins because pregnancy can clear up a few fertility problems.I have a lot of friends with the same story.

Interesting point about men. Their fertility does decrease a bit with age, but realistically the limiting factor on many monogamous men's fertility is their partner's age. It would be in everyone's interests if their GPs could intervene with the facts, and make it clear that that nagging from his DP which he may have thought was just neuroticism was based on cold hard facts (I apologise for the stereotype but we know that this situation does happen).

Unfortunate I can't see how it would work. GPs don't give contraception to men, so the subject doesn't arise, they don't necessarily know the partner's age, and it would be highly distasteful to have that sort of conversation at all behind the partner's back.

I agree with this. I recently discovered that around here, the NHS prioritise younger patients for IVF and the cut off was about 38 or something. I was really shocked.

I think people don't understand that IVF is a good treatment for specifically caused infertility. It really isn't a very effective treatment for healthy women who are just old, unless you combine it with donor eggs which is a whole new ball game.

Sooty - thats because over 40 success rates aren't great and probably can't be justified on the NHS. Even some private clinics have a cut off of 43.