Do you think it's the place of a GP to warn you of decreasing fertility over 35 when giving you a prescription for contraceptive?

[TheCountessOlenska]

I am not sure what I think!

On the one hand - your GP knows nothing of your life and choices, so it's not really their business.

On the other hand - I guess they don't want to see you come back wanting IVF in a few years and feel that they didn't warn you? (or maybe it could be a concern about the drain on NHS funds!)

This actually happened to someone I know and she's only 30! She was

of course

You hear about women who have babies aged 40 all the time. You don't hear about all the mc they may have had along the way, and you don't hear about the women who tried to have a second/third child but never managed it.

People often brush this away with "plenty of time yet". Like uncomfortable conversations about alcohol and weight - it's a GPs job not to give you the soft soap.

Yes well done to the GP for saying it.

He doesn't need to know whether you want babies, but he's being prudent by mentioning it.

A percentage of fertility issues is caused by people waiting too long. Fertility treatment is both expensive and important. He's doing his bit to limit it to those who are infertile at whatever age they try.

I don't think the details of it are that widely known; I didn't know them until recently. I think it should be taught in schools.

You say that women already know that fertility drops off with age, but it was only a few days ago that someone asked the question on the Conception board about if they should start taking folic acid because they hadn't managed to get pregnant and if it would help. I thought everyone knew that folic acid was to prevent the baby having problems, but apparently not.

Interesting . . . I thought the collective Mumsnet view would be more along the lines of "how rude for a man to presume to tell a woman when she should be procreating" - I mean, I doubt they say this to 40 year old men!

Who else is supposed to give you contraceptive advice ?

This is undoubtably one of the oddest AIBUs I have ever read. It was hardly unsolicited advice, he was writing out a prescription for the drugs and warned you of the side effects. WhenTF else is he supposed to say it ?

Ha ha OhdearNigel - I didn't think it was that odd! I'll take that as a compliment!

The side effect of contraception isn't infertility though??

Um - I don't think 40 year old men have quite the same biological clock as women

Celebrity older fathers include: Tony Blair (at 45), Ken Livingstone (at 57), Mick Hucknall (at 47), David Bowie (at 53), Mick Jagger (at 57), Phil Collins (at 51), Rupert Murdoch (at 72), Michael Douglas (at 58), Des O'Connor (at 72), Gordon Brown (at 54), Rod Stewart (at 60), Paul McCartney (at 61), David Jason (61), Eric Clapton (at 59), John Humphrys (at 56), John Simpson (at 61), Julio Iglesias Sr. (father of the singer Julio, at 89), Charlie Chaplin (at 73), Augustus John (at 47), Pierre Trudeau (at 72), Saul Bellow (at 84), Anthony Quinn (at 81) Pablo Picasso (at 68) and Luciano Pavarotti (twins at 67), Jonathan Dimbleby (at 62), David Letterman (at 56), Larry King (at 65 and 66), Woody Allen (at 51), Warren Beatty (at 62), and Jack Nicholson (at 53), Mike Oldfield (at 54), Dennis Quaid (at 50), Rick Parfitt (at 59), Van Morrison (allegedly at 64), Kevin Costner (at 55), Rod Stewart (father at 66), Kelsey Grammer (father at 55), Ritchie Blackmore (father at 65), Frank Skinner (will be father at 55).

I think the doctor is doing his job. He is letting you know that if you take the medication he has prescribed you might never have children in the future. Biologically we are designed to have children in our teens and be granmas in our thirties. Our caveman DNA has not caught up with our modern lifestyles.

Wll they wouldn't need to say it to 40 year old men - they can be fertile until the day they die.

Of course a health professional should be able to mention fertility to a woman attending to request medication to reduce her fertility .

Nothing to do with "when she SHOULD be procreating". More like reminding her that she might not be able to procreate indefinitely, which may be contrary to what she thinks.

Don't see a huge issue tbh as long as it was approached in a sensitive / matter of fact way, because it can come across as a little preachy.

I'm in my early 30s & have been its my partner for almost 10yrs. My GP knows this, but keeps trying to push the IUD, which I think is a bit weirder tbh!

I'm surprised the GP brought it up without the patient mentioning fertility issues or children, especially as the OP says her friend was only 30. I suppose it depends on docs motives - which we don't know.

It depends how he said it, if he said 'oi love, you sure you want this pill? You're not getting any younger, about time to get yourself knocked up I reckon' then YANBU.

Thirty is not especially young to be puttting off having kids. Her fertile years could be over in five years easily.

None of us like to think of us as getting old.

Actually once you are 30 if you want more than one child and you hit fertility problems you really don't have a lot of time left to play with .

Yes, but a 40 year old man is still fertile. Whereas a 40 year old woman is not as likely to be. At this age, women are approaching the end of their fertile years.

i think it's good he mentioned it. perhaps if i had been using prescription contraception i might have had the same advice and thus not missed out on having a second child. people go on about it all the time these days, certainly the last 5 odd years about womens decling fertility but i don't remember people going on about it much 10 odd years ago so i genuinely didn't give much thought to it, i took forgranted that i would have a second when i started to try for one as i had fallen pg immediately twice before. how wrong i was and have to live with out.

I thought the collective Mumsnet view would be more along the lines of "how rude for a man to presume to tell a woman when she should be procreating"

Well firstly the GP didn't tell anyone when they should procreate

And secondly, why would we assume the GP was a man?

I was more annoyed when the registrar told me I could be sterilised during my elcs

Male fertility declines with age as well - although not as dramatically as female, clearly men don't have anything akin to the menopause. But the quality of sperm does decline. So don't assume every man is capable of being a Daddy no matter how old he is - we hear about the exceptions because they are exceptions.

If we are talking about whether or not it is sexist (which I assume is the point being made by calling the GP a man telling a woman something), I think avoidance of the subject is sexist. It would be society avoiding mentioning a biological fact about women, possibly because it is inconvenient to mention that would be sexist.

There are plenty of people telling women not to have children they can't afford to support, conveniently avoiding thinking about the difficulty for many women of obtaining a well paid enough job before your fertility falls off a cliff in order to pay nursery fees and support yourself and a child. Presumably there are other reasons why in general, we don't mention what happens to women's fertility after 35. And it causes a lot of misery.