At what age does breastfeeding become weird?

[TransatlanticCityGirl]

My MIL made a comment today about a mother who breastfed her child until she was 5 years old - as in, 'can you believe it???? that's just not right!'

Which got me wondering, where do most people draw the line in terms of how old is too "weird"?

Imo about 2 as they are no longer a baby but a toddler.

I have namechanged especially to post this here, only because my story will out me in RL.

I have had 4 children. Many more pregnancies, but 4 children.

DS1 - I wanted to BF. But he was born in rural Northern Ireland, 5 weeks early, 21 years ago where the babies were taken away every night at 8pm and delivered back at 8am. The midwives fed him bottles. I tried and tried to feed him myself once I was discharged from the main hospital to the local cottage hospital. We were in hospital for 12 days because he was jaundiced and very sick. He was FF. I couldn't do it.

DS2 - organised myself a next day discharge. BF til 11 months when he self-weaned.

DD1 - multiple food intolerances, transient hypogammaglobulanaemia of infancy. Tried to BF. She ended up on Neocate.

DD2 - BF til almost 4. She used to say "don't put your boobies away mummy I likes your boobies" when I was getting dressed. BF not because I particularly wanted to but because it worked for us. She was happy, it was only at night and maybe in the morning as she got older, I wasn't that bothered so meh.

Northern Ireland has incredibly low rates of BF. When I BF DS2 (he's 20 now) I was the only person I had ever ever known to BF AT ALL. EVER. I was memorably told that formula was better than breastmilk for my baby because scientists made it so that it gave the baby all they needed.

I have an acquaintance I was talking to recently who was saying that she's getting pressure to stop feeding her 14 month old. She didn't have me down as particularly lentil-weavery and was shocked that I'd fed DD2 for as long as I did.

I told her - her boobs, her baby, her business.

BF a baby or small child is never weird. Do it for as long as it suits you/works for you. And anyone else can gettaefuck. And don't feel guilty if you don't BF or stop earlier than you think is ideal. Your child will be fine.

Mine are now 21, 20, 13 and 10 and I defy anyone to tell which ones were BF and which ones were FF from looking at them.

Nancy - perhaps your breast feeding friends know your (and society's) prejudices against them, and keep it a secret.

And Nancy, your comment about breast feeders of dc over the age of three being "a type" and their dc being odd - what utterly offensive claptrap!

I intend to feed my son until he wants to stop. I am completely "normal" (for whatever that's worth), as are my dc.

I don't think it's ever weird.

It's weirder to judge other peoples parenting choices.

I definelty think they shouldn't be doing it at the age of five.

thanks for all the helpful replies to my question, think i get it now,
it is a comfort thing rather than food, same as a child having a milky drink in a cup before bed.

yes, exactly that :)

Quickhide: no I don't think it odd that your dc enjoys ready break or petit filou. I am quite partial to ready break myself on occasion myself now. But that's how this food is supposed to be eaten.

I would find it odd if she was a healthy child who only would eat all her meals pureed. Which was what I was referring to. All meals puréed like a baby would have.

If a healthy, 30 year old (for arguments sake) was still breastfeeding surely most people would find this weird.. (surely?!) So at some point between birth and 30 it becomes something that becomes developmentally inappropriate or as op put it: 'weird'. Where this point is, is an individual opinion depending on the child, mum and situation. And each parent is free to have their own opinion whether it be 4 months or 4 years. No matter how strange that may be to others.

I think sometimes its not a case of the child wanting it, it's a case of the mother wanting to keep the child as a baby for longer.

awaits flames

White widow - its fine for you to have your opinion, but perhaps with a bit of research on the subject you would be enlightened to some facts rather than a knee jerk opinion mirroring that of society.

Shakewhatyourmamagaveyou, I would find it odd if a toddler/child was being EXCLUSIVELY breastfed. I.e nothing but breastmilk, like a baby would have.

Breastmilk at bedtime, as part of a normal healthy diet is a very different thing.

Your example of a 30 year old is ridiculous, as many have pointed out, we lose the ability to suckle once milk teeth have dropped out, around age 6/7. Most children self wean way before that anyway.

Faverolles - Didn't I say SOMETIMES? I'm sure SOMETIMES this is the reason why :)

I love the photo. There is a certain assumption about people who do extreme bf'ing, or whatever you call it. I think this photo challenges that.

I agree Marie - a young, beautiful woman portrayed as an EBFer, as opposed to the normal shock horror stories that usually make it onto channel 4 documentaries :)

Sorry haven't read the thread but it is 4 years 5months 3weeks and 4days. After that it freaks me out.

I breastfed DS until he was 13 months, although only 1 breast feed a day from 8 months, as he was well established on solids and follow on milk.

I have to admit I would be uncomfortable seeing a child older than 2 being breast fed in public. I don't really know why, but I would.

Why on earth would a mother want to keep her child behaving like a baby?

I have NEVER understood this comment and I've heard it loads.

Yes, fine, keep bfing becayse it means you don't have to bother to get up in the night and wash/sterilise bottles - ye gods that's a good enough reason in itself! and to make getting the child to sleep easier - YES, bring it on!

But to keep the child like a baby? That's just weird.

Nancy - you've obviously not met me, or anyone else on this thread who has fed beyond three, then. Don't think I'm a 'type' - we don't wear or own anything organic and I get them McDonalds every other week...we have a telly...they play with guns...shall I go on?

BF just makes sense.

Startail, sorry about your DD, yes, they gather that it is commented on, not welcome in public, etc etc - sadly I already feel too weak to fight this, myself - since the plethora of awful comments and looks I had with ds1. I stopped feeding in public wherever possible. I'm not going to put myself in the line of fire again if I have a choice.
I will still feed; I just won't go out. Or I'll find somewhere private.
That's it.

Puddlejumper, thankyou EVER so much for putting that research - it's made me feel a lot better, particularly as ds2 (the one who just stopped at nearly 5) has only ever been properly ill once or twice. Ds1 was ill much more often.

Actually that's wonderful. I'll tell DP as well.

i agree whitewidow...but ppl are not answering the question the op has given....at what age does it become weird...

we all know the benefits, the who guidelines etc which this thread has mostly been about...most of us know this info so why do you continually have to go over old ground when this type of question is posed...

But people have answered doormat - but you don't seem to like the answer.

Like someone said before, plenty of people find breast feeding weird from 0-6 months.
There cannot be a universal cutoff, as opinion vary so widely.
IMO, as long as mother and child are happy with the way they do things, it's not weird at all.
If someone outside their family group finds it weird, well, that's their problem.

faverolles there has hardly been an age given where it becomes socially unacceptable...this thread has mostly been about the benefits etc, the who and for children of mothers under the age of 4 telling us their stories....that is hardlywhat the op is asking for...

But the question of when it becomes "weird" is an entirely personal one surely? I fed my DD until she was 15 months, and had to stop a couple of months before DS was born. So she was fully weaned off the breast at 17 months when DS was born.

I began feeding DS, and DD indicated that she wanted a feed like her baby brother but she had totally forgotten how to latch and it felt completely weird trying to breastfeed her. She realized she wasn't getting any milk and stopped trying.

I then went on to feed DS until his third birthday when I decided to stop. He would have carried on a good while longer but we stopped co-sleeping then and it seemed good timing.

Penelope, well what about 4 years 5months 3weeks 4days and 2 hours?

I think P makes a very good point - anyone looking for a definitive cut off to be applied to all and sundry is going to be disappointed - it depends on the child and the mother. For ME it was when DS was about 4. Not sure when it will be for DD. Others can do what they like.

But again, there is no universal cutoff is there?
In some areas of the country, breast feeding for any length of time is considered unusual, and in some folks eyes weird.
In other areas, feeding beyond a year is normal (but there will still be some who find it unsightly)
There is no way of giving a definite age, because no matter where you are, some sectors of society will find it weird.
I have fed my nearly 16mo whilst waiting to pick up my older dc from school - without so much as a raised eyebrow, yet over a year ago, I was subject to tutting and comments when feeding him in a doctors surgery.

When does it become socially unacceptable to kiss your child's bum after a bath?