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Original poster

At what age does breastfeeding become weird?

594 replies

TransatlanticCityGirl · 12/05/2012 23:16

My MIL made a comment today about a mother who breastfed her child until she was 5 years old - as in, 'can you believe it???? that's just not right!'

Which got me wondering, where do most people draw the line in terms of how old is too "weird"?

OP posts:
HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 13/05/2012 00:32

ahh thanks, misremembered sorry. I'm still not sure it is always a physical impossibility though?

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 13/05/2012 00:34

moa that's a really lovely way of explaining it

bronze · 13/05/2012 00:35

What i don't understand is why it bothers people so much.

Go into a secondary school and point out the pupils who were fed past 3. Bet you can't. If you can I bet it's down to more than just extended breastfeeding

doormat · 13/05/2012 00:35

entropy my 27 yo still cries..what does that have to do with anything....if a child is crying we comfort them as parents, n give them plenty of huggles..doesnt mean we have to get our baps out

PeggyCarter · 13/05/2012 00:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Faverolles · 13/05/2012 00:36

doormat - but that's your opinion, and you don't have to breast feed any longer than you want to, no one will force you to feed a 4 year old.
Other people have different parenting ideals, and it's fine for them to make their own decisions.
The benefits of breast feeding are well researched and documented. Children will still progress even if they have a feed at bedtime. It's hurting no one, is good for both participants, so what exactly is the problem?

bronze · 13/05/2012 00:37

Mine too Joyful. think I'll go to bed and make sure I don't hand a child off my tits, or is that baps (is a bap not a bread roll?).
Night all

moajab · 13/05/2012 00:38

Doormat I find your comment insulting. My 3 year old is not in a pram and is rarely in a buggy. He is a very independent child, who is quite capable of getting the milk from the fridge and pouring it into a cup by himself. He just likes a bit of comfort at bed time. Do you never allow your children to do anything just because they like it? Perhaps you think I should be like the old woman in the shoe "feed them some broth without any bread, beat them all soundly and send them to bed" I don't judge your parenting, but I feel very sorry for someone who can only justify their parenting decisions by criticising others.

spammertime · 13/05/2012 00:38

But surely that's your choice doormat.. I stopped bf my son just before he turned 2, I didn't want to do it any more. But it really doesn't bother me if someone else breastfeeds their 5 year old. Would I want to do that? No. Do I find it weird? Also no!

mamababa · 13/05/2012 00:39

Joy, what I mean by its about the mother is that it's the mothers need or want for that 'closeness'. A weaned child does not need breast feeding though may still want it for comfort if it had carried on from baby times. However they will find comfort in a myriad of things. Presumably a 5 year old with a dummy is frowned upon yet same child gaining comfort from sucking mums boobs is acceptable Hmm

hellymelly · 13/05/2012 00:39

I've breastfed for ages because I have left it up to my children to "draw the line" Clearly to a small child continuing to feed is normal, and they are surely the best judges of normal toddler behaviour? One stopped at 2y4m. The other one hasn't wanted to quite stop yet, and still has a waking up/sleeptime feed. She just turned 5, so I may have to adjust my policy, but only as I am knackered, not because I think she is weird for still wanting to feed and that I'm weird for allowing her to continue. Oh and I'm 48- maybe that is the weirdest bit?

bronze · 13/05/2012 00:40

Moajab- Agree. my breastfed 3 year old has only ever been in a pushchair once. He walks everywhere and has done for over a year Grin

right really bed

TheSecondComing · 13/05/2012 00:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

doormat · 13/05/2012 00:48

aha check most posts i never judged anyones parenting...i was given scenarios as
"think of it as a bottle" "when your child still cries et al "

" a ff progreses from a doile to a cup blah blah"

i have replied back with children developing independant skills (if they can) and my decision of letting go as a bf mother...what you all do is your own business...but is it weird for a nt child of 4, 5 to still have a bottle, be in nappies or be in a pram???? or is this normal behaviour and development

this is a very contentious issue and i am sorry but you do get defensive and accuse ppl of not knowing what it is like for ppl who bf and you automatically assume that a person who does not want to continue bf after the age of 3 has never done it....

Faverolles · 13/05/2012 00:49

Mama - actually, the nutrients and calories in breastmilk are still a useful part of a child's diet, and still provide antibodies.
It also still provides protection against breast cancer in the mother. But heaven forbid if the mother actually enjoys feeding her child! Confused

SeaHouses · 13/05/2012 00:53

Mamababa, the teat of a dummy and the teat on a bottle are different to suckling from a breast. The mouth and jaw move in different ways, so the concerns about jaw and teeth development that apply to older children using a teat do not apply to the breast.

I also don't see why it is an issue if the mother enjoys the closeness of breast feeding an older child.

SeaHouses · 13/05/2012 00:57

The pushchair issue: I would think it was fine for a 3 year old to sometimes be in a pushchair if the mother didn't drive and needed to walk to various places. To say a 3 year old can never use a pushchair is telling SAHMs who don't drive that they can never go anywhere if the walking distance is longer than that managed by a 3 year old.

I don't see what it has to do with breastfeeding.

There are lots of things that both babies and children do that teenagers and adults do not. Breast feeding is one of those things.

Faverolles · 13/05/2012 00:58

TSC - completely identify with your post. Ds was ill on and off from December til April. It felt good that I could feed him and stop him getting dehydrated, particularly one week when he couldn't even drink water without gagging!

Iirc (but too tired to look for links!) there is some evidence that allowing a child to develop at their own pace (sleeping through when they're ready to, potty training when they're ready, stopping feeding when they're ready) makes for a more confident, independent child, as they've gone through their developmental steps when their body/brain/whatever is ready for them to do so.

doormat · 13/05/2012 01:04

seahorses dont twist my words...i said a 4-5 yold in a pram..read my post properply...

lovebunny · 13/05/2012 01:08

my (formerly) breastfed four year old is now 29 and breastfeeding her own baby, very successfully. she has never at any time seemed to have been disadvantaged by extended breastfeeding. although she has an excellent memory for conversations going back to her early childhood, she does not remember breastfeeding at all; although i adore her, i have never at any time wanted to put her back to the breast. from these, i deduce that we did what was right for us at the time, in breastfeeding so long and no longer.

SeaHouses · 13/05/2012 01:14

Sorry, doormat, I was mistaken.

I still think it is the case that there are some things that only babies/toddlers do, some things that only babies and children do, and some things that babies/toddlers, children and adults do.

Drinking milk from a breast is something that babies/toddlers and children do, so isn't really comparable with things that are only done by babies/toddlers.

PeggyCarter · 13/05/2012 01:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

startail · 13/05/2012 02:15

You can't BF a child against their will.

DD1 refused to BF from 5 months old.

DD2 carried on in to junior school, working out for herself that night weaning and not bitting were essential to Motherly happiness and breast milk avalibilityGrin

quiplite · 13/05/2012 02:45

The OP asked, where do most people draw the line. I think that's fairly easy to answer:

Up to 6 months: only the rabidly anti-breast think its wierd. And they're mental.
6 - 12 mos: most people still think you're a saint
12 - 18 mos: some people will start to 'worry'; some will offer 'advice'
18 - 24 mos: The worrying gets louder. I'd say we're moving into a significant minority thinking it's wierd, if not quite 50/50.
24 - 36 mos: By now a solid majority think it's been going on too long.
36+: Most people think it's wierd.

HTH.

(Personally, I think you should do as you please - it's certainly not going to do the child any harm. But that's not what you asked.)

ShakeWhatYourMamaGaveYou · 13/05/2012 03:58

I haven't read the entire thread, so apologise for any double ups, but in my opinion breastfeeding would become 'weird' and by that I take to mean a behaviour deemed age inappropriate in our culture and society, with access to adequate nutrition, at around 7 years old.

I would also find daytime nappies, dummies and eating pureed mush in an otherwise healthy, thriving child at 7-8 'weird' too.

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