At what age does breastfeeding become weird?

[TransatlanticCityGirl]

My MIL made a comment today about a mother who breastfed her child until she was 5 years old - as in, 'can you believe it???? that's just not right!'

Which got me wondering, where do most people draw the line in terms of how old is too "weird"?

This 'ole chestnut, ey?! I breastfed DD for 27mth and DS for nearly 12mth and still going strong.

2shoes I am happy to breastfeed my child on a night, in much the same way that many mums give a bottle/ cup of milk and a dummy or a teddy/ favourite blanket. The fact it involves my boobs, I believe, is the only difference and is what most people find weird.

FWIW, as is often cited, WHO recommends breastfeeding until at least 2yrs of age and that includes developed nations.

The thing is 2shoes, you don't set out to feed a 4yo. I planned to do it for 6 months, but DD2 just sort of never stopped! And so far I haven't seen any reason to make her stop. She likes it, it comforts her. (Btw she is 2, not 4!)

The thing is 2shoes, you don't set out to feed a 4yo. I planned to do it for 6 months, but DD2 just sort of never stopped! And so far I haven't seen any reason to make her stop. She likes it, it comforts her. (Btw she is 2, not 4!)

Ah ok, but then that's surely about education and I completely agree people should be encouraged or whatever. I am very pro breastfeeding! But once a decision has been made, I feel no point in berating someone or telling them how evil formula is - I have 2 friends whose struggle to breastfeed significantly contributed to their PND - the feeling that they had "failed". That cannot be right.

There really isn't a line you can draw and say "Right, everyone who BFs past this age is Officially Weird". My daughter was on the breast until 13 months and then went on an abrupt nursing strike - I would have carried on but found it all too emotional to try and tempt her back, as I felt really rejected and would have been trying too hard for the wrong reasons. So I let it go. If she'd just kept going then there are a few reasons that would have led me to wean her off eventually, but none would be particularly age-dependent, more to do with my life and needs.

The only time I'd have a problem with it was if the parent was persistently trying to feed and the child didn't want to. Not in terms of a one-off, because toddlers will resist something like the blazes one day and love it the next, but in terms of the whole ongoing practice. Once they're out of the baby stage then they do deserve to set their own physical boundaries where possible.

Yes, Holy, I think my answer would be that once you are too old to have the dental/jaw structure to breastfeed from an actual breast, it would be if not weird, certainly a novelty to drink breast milk. If I was having it in my cup of tea, people would be surprised.

2shoes they don't need a teddy in their bed, but they like it. They need to learn the word no - "no you don't run across roads, no you can't have sweets straight before dinner" etc. But if the mum is happy to bf why should she say no to it? I don't say no to sweets if I'm happy for them to have sweets, but when I'm not I do say no.
4 and 5 year olds are still young. We are often criticised for making children grow up too quickly, for example seeing 5 year old girls in mini adult clothes. But at 4 and 5 they do still need comfort. Even my 10 year old still likes to have a story and a kiss at bedtime. Most children will like a cuddle and a story and a goodnight kiss before bed. Having a bf is one form of comfort.

2shoes the key thing is that CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT

Some will find ample comfort in a teddy bear, or lego or whatever. But some find it in BF. This is not a problem.

I personally am undoubtedly coming to the end of BFing at 1yo because my DD would rather eat pasta and gets comfort from DH not me (he is the SAHP). So there is a very diminished role for BF there. But for other people, with other children this is not the case.

Boneybackjefferson

fluffypillow sorry that is bollocks. the line about non BF not understanding is shit,
cos of course a non BF mum doesn't give a shit!!!!
I do think it people are going to try to say BF a 4/5 is ok
they at least need to come up with better reasons than that.

What reasons would you need to hear, 2 shoes, to make you think that breastfeeding a 4 year old was okay?

spammertime absolutely true that there can be nothing more useless than discussing feeding decisions once they are made!

But we have to remember that while some people reading this are past the point of no return (and may conceivably be hurt and upset by people talking in a proBF way) there will be many who are still pregnant or TTC. They deserve to be able to make an informed decision, preferably based on actual fact rather than fiction....

Oh yeah, the immune thing was a classic - great way to turn the fact it boosts a baby's immune system into a negative - I do see what you're doing - just hate the way people always have to justify choices.

I had a terrible time from my mother for daring to bf my son at 18m so I am pretty sensitive about it all - this from the person who would have been mortified had I formula fed him. So I agree, the right time for her would have been as long as she bf for. Madness.

Why do they need to come up with reasons other than that the child likes it and the mum is happy to do it?? Seriously, what does it matter? Can you actually explain why you do think it's weird? It may be unusual but how is it damaging? Children of 4 and 5 still need loads of physical contact, comfort and help with quite intimate things, so I don't really see that breastfeeding is a boundary issue at that age so long as everyone involved is happy.

Sorry joyful that was a stupid line to bring into it - I agree it's not been mentioned here.

moajab thank you for a proper answer .
but I think the bit I struggle with is the idea that the child(and they are are a child by then) needs to move on a grow up,
this is the bit I don't get, how long do you let the child ( I am not talking about babies) decide, surely there comes a time when mum has to say no.

I don't think at any age it becomes wierd, but at around the 6/7 age it becomes impossible as the shape of the mouth changes as the adult teeth come in and the child can no longer latch on. But while it would be very unusual for a mother to express her milk for her 8, 9, 10 year old, is it actually any more wierd than feeding out 8, 9, 10 year old on the stuff that comes out of the udders of a cow?

2shoes are you deliberately engaging with the people that upset you and ignoring all the people who are trying to answer you sensibly?

Why should there have to be a reason to continue BFing when both parties are happy to? Surely you would need a reason to stop?

What reason do you suggest for needing to stop BFing at 4/5yo?

With all the hoohaa going on about the Time cover, it's no wonder EBFers get defensive.
Over the last couple of days, I've read so many comments about breast feeding being weird, freakish, perverted, paedophilic and so on, and very few comments supporting it.
When it comes to it, breast feeding has health benefits for both mother and child, for as long as they choose to continue.
Parenting is all about choices. Breast feeding is just one choice that we make. Whether to breast feed, and for how long, is up to the parents of the child, and no one else.

entropygirl because they are at school.............

2shoes, that is true if the mum doesn't want to do it. But if the mum is happy to breastfeed, what would her reason being for saying no?

fluffypillow I quite agree with you that breastfeeding is far too emotive a topic and there's a lot of judgement being thrown around. I don't think it's wrong to ask people to volunteer how long they plan to breastfeed for / ask opinions on it (especially where no one here is being forced to reply!) - sharing (in a respectful manner) helps to create understanding for one another and I'm personally interested in other people and understanding what drives them.