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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider having another baby because my children have asked me to?

34 replies

CranworthMummy · 12/05/2012 23:12

Currently have 4 DCs, from 2-7 yrs old. The older two have said they'd really like us to have another. We'd decided 4 was enough. Should we reconsider?

OP posts:
pinkyp · 12/05/2012 23:14

Erm no

pictish · 12/05/2012 23:15

Um...no?

Olympia2012 · 12/05/2012 23:16

Dear god.... Give them control of the family finances too while you are at it!

Original poster
CranworthMummy · 12/05/2012 23:24

No I'm not being unreasonable, or no I shouldn't even be thinking about it?!

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 12/05/2012 23:26

I can't believe you need to ask! Do your children always get what they want?

2shoes · 12/05/2012 23:26
Biscuit
rainydaysarebad · 12/05/2012 23:27

Children are for life, not just for christmas.

sleeplessinsuburbia · 12/05/2012 23:28

No you shouldn't have another child because your children would like it!

That decision should come from the parents, you are responsible for providing your existing children with the life you want them to have, only you would know if this would be possible with another,

PS what if they ask for another/less on a couple of years?

gafhyb · 12/05/2012 23:29

Eh?

Noqontrol · 12/05/2012 23:40

No you shouldn't reconsider because you, as parents, have decided that 4 is enough. Hope this helps.

McHappyPants2012 · 12/05/2012 23:47

I wouldn't

MorrisZapp · 12/05/2012 23:50

Do not reconsider.

fortheloveof · 13/05/2012 00:06

Do not reconsider, at least not on account of DCs opinions! Sounds to me that you are not 100% sure you don't want any more children if you are wavering under slight pressure!

ImperialBlether · 13/05/2012 00:07

Of course not. You shouldn't have a child on a whim.

Buy them a puppy. That should sort them out.

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 13/05/2012 00:11

Yes you should reconsider because it's always good to revisit and reconsider really important decisions like that. Whether the consideration is prompted by your children, or another relative, or a book, or film or whatever no harm in thinking about it and making sure it's still the right choice.

You shouldn't have another child because your children want you to that would be madness.

DilysPrice · 13/05/2012 00:13

You can think about it, yes. If the major motivating factor in your decision to stop at 4 was the desire to give your existing DCs more space, time and material possessions, and they've said they'd rather have another sibling, then you can reconsider, but I wouldn't let the 2 year old have a vote, and I'd dismiss their views insofar as they relate to cute little babies not full grown siblings for the rest of their lives.

Dropdeadfred · 13/05/2012 00:15

Unless your older two ate going to finance another sibling I'm not sure you should base a decision on their potentially temporary wishes...!

AnAirOfHope · 13/05/2012 00:17

Sure why not? You already have four one more wouldn't make much difference. Maybe you could let the older children pick the baby's name too Grin

It sounds like you have a lovly big family.

mynewpassion · 13/05/2012 03:25

So if your kids told you to buy them each new laptops, would you?

bogeyface · 13/05/2012 04:40

I think it depends.

If you would quite like another but decided that 4 was enough....just because, then yes, consider it and give it some serious thought.

If you decided 4 was enough because of money, housing or because you felt your family was complete then no, dont consider it.

I wanted 6, had 4 and then felt that I was done. Then I had #5 as a surprise and the kids kept asking when we were having #6. I hadnt thought about #6 but their constant questioning made me think hard about it.

She is 1 next month! I didnt do it for them but their enthusiasm for another sibling did make me think alot and also dispelled some of my worries about them resenting another child etc.

LittleJennyRobyn · 13/05/2012 11:15

If you are considering another then i dont believe it's just because your other Dc want it. There must be a part of you that wants another.

i have 5 dc's, Youngest has mentioned that she would like me to have another.
Would i consider it??

No not on your life. i knew i would never have any more after her and the decision remains.
you know in yourself when you are done and if you are considering it then i dont think you are 100% sure.

Trills · 13/05/2012 11:21

It would be extremely unreasonable to let your children decide if you have more children.

7 year olds (and younger) are not known for their forward-planning abilities.

FridayOLeary · 13/05/2012 11:21

No Grin
Although a friend of mine's DD was twisting her arm for a new baby, and her winning argument was that "you are always telling me that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to"

ithastobeNAICEham · 13/05/2012 11:36

My DD has wanted another sibling from the age of 3. She even told my ex, on the first day she met him, that he had to put a baby "in my mummys tummy"! I gave it no creedance to it, she was 3 and didn't see the big picture!

She is now 7 and nearly 8 and is finally having her sibling, if I had listened to her she wouldn't have had the life she had and now she is older she knows how much work a baby is ( I argreed to having my 9month old neice for a night and as my neice doesn't like sleepping my DD wasn't best impressed at being kept awake! It did the trick though and stopped her in her tracks!)

She is looking forward to having a baby sister and has helped me pick out outfits for the baby coming home and with going through the gifts of clothes for the baby!

I don't think the younger children have an understanding, any chance you could have a friends baby overnight and make the younger ones see how much work and how much attention a young baby needs?

Sposh · 13/05/2012 11:39

You know, they might feed it and take it for walks for a little while but they'll only get bored and who do you think will end up doing all the hard work then? Before you know it you will be having to do everything for it.