To be annoyed at MIL despite living with her..

[WhiteWidow]

I have stay with MIL TO BE at the moment and it's not going too well.

She treats my partner like he's still seven. Shouting him to 'have a word' over something silly or just being niggly and annoying.

We do our own shopping, we have our own freezer there but have to share fridges. She keeps eating our food, saying 'there's not point me buying any if that's there'. We're on a really tight budget at the moment, especially because we're paying her 300 a month for the pleasure of sleeping in her box room, so our food budget is limited as it is!
She borrows our car, uses all the petrol, and then puts it back on the drive like she's never even used it.
She complains if we're in the shower for over 5 minutes
She stops up late all night shouting and laughing well into the early hours, but then complains when we're getting up early for work in the morning and happen to make too much noise whispering.
She also does the thing where she shouts my partner, when he replies she ignores him so he then has to go to her... Only for her then to say 'oh I've forgot now!' not in a oh dear I'm forgetful way, but in a HA HA way.

It sounds like I'm being really petty... Am I??? I dont know!

I would say move out and get your own place but if you're skint because you're paying £300 out per month for board, you would be even skint-er in your own home as rent, bills etc would far exceed that per month

She does sound annoying but it's her house and all that....

Why do you have to live with her ?

Just to add we're there because our house got near enough destroyed, we're paying for repairs so that's why money is tight

Is there room for a little fridge in your room?

Imperial - I've tried that, she complained about the use of electric :s

How long is it likely to be before you can move back into your home?

You need to sort out the fridge, definitely. What about some big Tupperware boxes for your things. Say to her, "I know it's easy to get confused about whose things are whose, so we'll put our things in here so that they don't get in your way."

If she then opens them and eats them, you both need to sit down with her and have a pretty frank conversation.

Oh and hide your car keys for god's sake. Does she have her own car?

It could be anything from 3-6 months, depending on how the work goes and then if the council deem our house as safe etc..

Try and buy the things you need the day you will use them?

Do you have a garden in your house? I'd be tempted to go and camp there...

well don't let her have access to your car keys for one thing.

as for the food i would sit down with her an ask if she wants to share food or not. if she is happy to split the food shop and you all can eat any of the food then fine.
if she isn't, then ask if there is a way of working out whose food is whose.

do you not all eat together? do you never eat anything she has bought?

Thats exactly what I need to do Imperial, I just haven't got the balls to say anything. I need to woman up though and say that!

She hasn't got her own car anymore, she likes to use ours for 'errands' now though. She's using a full tank in one sitting though, I'd love to know what errands she's actually doing. Hiding the keys is a good idea. Knowing my luck she'd stroll in and wave a new set in front of me with a smile on her face

do you have to use your car?

cos i'd be tempted, if she leaves it empty, to just not use it until she tries it again.
then say "oh you used up the fuel on tuesday, you'll need to get soem more"

clearly that only works if you can make do without it for a few days though! not suggesting you really put yourself out or anything

a full tank?? is she shopping in John o'groats??

Is she even insured for your car?

Simply deduct the cost of your groceries that she uses from your rent. She'll not do it again.

She's using a full tank of petrol in one go??

How much does it cost to fill it? That's not on is it?

Could you maybe try putting in small volumes of fuel at a time so that she has to fill it up?

No we don't eat together because of how our work shifts work and stuff. And I don't eat any of hers. I'd happily share things if she asked first (I plan meals to help me budget) so I'd be able to say yeah of course or no sorry we need that.

That reminds me, I made a cake for my colleagues the other day to say thank you for how they'd helped me recently, i came home and she'd ate a big slab of it. It was iced with 'thankyou'. I don't know what possessed her. Sometimes I feel like she does things on purpose. It's not just with food things either.

Thanks for all your help and suggestions, please keep them coming.

at John O' Groats!

Haha - did she think the cake was saying thanks to her???

Any friends who you could pay to lodge with...

Yes I agree deduct groceries from your rent and petrol money. Shel'll stop or you won't be as bad off

Dropdeadfred - omg I never actually thought of that hahah!! That's quite possible! Another wrong assumption from her unfortunately.

The deducting idea is a brilliant one. Thank you! I know these are relatively simple answers you're giving me that I should have figured out myself, but at the moment my head is boggled with everything that's going on, I'm cant think properly! Thanks guys x

She sounds like a mad loon - sorry - and like she is maybe doing this with some relish. Was she happy about you moving in or was it all a bit "no other option"? She is a REAL meanie to make you pay £300 when you're in hardship - unless she rented out the box room before to someone else, its probably not what you are costing her to be there in council tax/electric etc.

Either way, my sympathies!

Neil Morrissey once said in an interview (years ago on This Morning) that the best way to stop other people eating your shared food was to either put green food dye on it or add a pubic hair or two!!

Do you and your partner need the car to go to work? Is there any chance you could park it somewhere else and tell her you've sold it? Might seem extreme but a tank of petrol is so expensive now.