to want to tell my neighbour to F off!

[Steth]

Set the scene - We live in a converted victorian building with very bad sound proofing Dh, DS and myself. Ever since we've moved in (we're renting) about 6 months ago I am getting continuous knocks on my door from the downstairs neighbour asking if we can tread more lightly, ask our DS not to jump, keep our voices down (i had a friend over recently in the afternoon and as we were in the kitchen laughing she came up and asked us to please keep it down as her husband had a v important conference call to make.. WTF!!) I advise her each time that we do not wear shoes in the apt in order to keep noise levels down, we don't let DS jump but as he is a toddler he does sometimes jump and that the soundproofing is generally bad and that we can't really do anything about it bar whispering!!

Anyway she has pissed me off even more, she knocks on my door at 830am yesterday (she heard me get out of bed) and I refused to answer as it pisses me off when people just turn up at your door expecting you to answer. So i saw her later in the afternoon and she asks me to please remove a piece (yes 1 f'ing piece) of cardboard from beside the bins and put it in the recycle blue bag - she knew it was mine because she said she read my address!!!! ... oh and that she also took he liberty of cleaning the loose items of rubbish inside my bin as they MUST be put in a black binliner SHE WENT THROUGH MY BIN FFS!

I have been nothing but pleasant to her to date but my fuse is running short and I fear if there is one more tiny incident then I will choke her! And btw they blast their tv up every night with the loudest base ever to the point that I can barley hear my own tv.

I find someone intruding on my personal space is very offensive and rude and that she just likes to complain. They are also in a legal battle with the downstairs neighbours over a proposed extension to their flat

AIBU to be so mad?

Is she Mr Heckles?

YANBU in the slightest. Reminds me of my time in Germany. Badly soundproofed Eastern Block flat and a bunch of elderly neighbours too damn used to spying on each other. I could here cutlery being put away, phone calls in intimate details, everyone's bloody alarm clock in the morning.

Not sure what to suggest really. Except not to pander to the silly old bint. I doubt anything you do will be enough. How about scaling up the level of annoyance, then you can pull it back a bit and appear helpful?

totally! but 10 times more bloody annoying, advice please?

Janoschi - sound advice will put that into practice, perhaps DH, DS and myself will do a bit of jumping tomorrow at 8am!

start a diary of her visits, then call the council and complain about her

Well, He died...

I think you need to work out a strategy.

Are you there temp or perm?

I'd start posting my rubbish through her door to 'save her the trouble of going through your bin'.

I'd also take up naked yoga out of sheer badness. Give her something to talk about.

She sounds very very strange.

Does she own her place? If there is a LL, I would think about having a word perhaps.

Does she live alone? Chances are she has absolutely nothing else to do. So you won't win any battle because let's face it, you have a life and therefore limited time and energy for such pointless arsiness.

How about next time you answer the door, wrap yourself head to toe in bubblewrap, also your son. Show her you're doing your best to muffle noises.

I have no advice but have been in exactly the same situation.
The problem is of course that many older buildings in the UK have really bad sound insulation. But some people are just less tolerant and should therefore go and live in the country with no close neighbours.
Can you move?

Chaos ha ha he died. Wouldn't wish that on her (yet) def strategy needed. We are here for another 6 months, our move is dependent if we find a place to buy as we don't want to enter into another 1 year rental agreement. But we'll be month by month once we hit our 1 year contract.

Muddypuddles can i really contact the council for something like this? Is it harassment?

By the way, I wasn't of course suggesting that you are at fault in any way - but just that no matter what you do, she will keep complaining.

She IS strange. Nope she lives with her husband. They own their place (3 flats and she is sandwiched between us)They are in their sixties. She is at home most of the time. I heard them shagging the other morning... puke.

Okay so general advice is to bubblewrap the family, post all my crap through her letterbox, answer the door naked during one of my yoga routines and perhaps tell her that she she needs to keep her shagging down as I cant keep my weetabix down

Just don't answer the door - you know it's her so don't answer.

Without - cough - engineering anything, the ideal situation would be for her to fall into an embarrassing situation that you can rescue her from. Something like getting locked out wearing just her nightie. She might then wish to keep you 'on side' to limit neighbourly gossip.

notcontent I didn't think that you were blaming me :) I am learning my lesson about renting a converted flat NEVER EVER AGAIN - too much hassle. I found myself hoovering the carpet very lightly lately so as not to cause too much noise on her ceiling!! Honestly this 6 months is going to be looooooonnnnngg

When you hoovered, was this happening below you?

OMG janoschi thats hilarious!! I WISH that would happen.

Best get yourself a Dirt Devil then.

the next time she complains about jumping, i would tell her about the shagging too

the next time she complains about jumping, i would tell her about the shagging too

Oh do!

"Ah yes, you're here about the noise? I was meaning to ask you to keep your bedroom gymnastics quiet!"

We had this in a flat we were in once - constant moaning about everyday living noise. In the end I said to the neighbour "I can't be any quieter than I am. There"s no need to keep asking me or reminding me because I have reached the threshold of quiet, and will not be making any attempts to be any quieter from now on".

I actually didn't get any more bother from her, but we did move about 6 months later (to a detached place and have never looked back...)

I would just tell her that you are entitled to make normal family noise and if she isn't happy, then she shouldn't have bought a flat.

Next time you hear her shagging, bang on the wall - if nothing else it might make her too embarrassed to hassle you again.

YY to banging on the wall. Or go down there and bang on the door.

If she keeps knocking the door I would tell her the noise you make is reasonable and if she continues to complain you will be contacting the landlord firstly and the police secondly about harassment.

Although she may just be lonely

Next time you hear them shagging give them a big cheer and round of applause at the end, might embarrass her into being unable to face you for a while.