to want to tell my neighbour to F off!

[Steth]

Set the scene - We live in a converted victorian building with very bad sound proofing Dh, DS and myself. Ever since we've moved in (we're renting) about 6 months ago I am getting continuous knocks on my door from the downstairs neighbour asking if we can tread more lightly, ask our DS not to jump, keep our voices down (i had a friend over recently in the afternoon and as we were in the kitchen laughing she came up and asked us to please keep it down as her husband had a v important conference call to make.. WTF!!) I advise her each time that we do not wear shoes in the apt in order to keep noise levels down, we don't let DS jump but as he is a toddler he does sometimes jump and that the soundproofing is generally bad and that we can't really do anything about it bar whispering!!

Anyway she has pissed me off even more, she knocks on my door at 830am yesterday (she heard me get out of bed) and I refused to answer as it pisses me off when people just turn up at your door expecting you to answer. So i saw her later in the afternoon and she asks me to please remove a piece (yes 1 f'ing piece) of cardboard from beside the bins and put it in the recycle blue bag - she knew it was mine because she said she read my address!!!! ... oh and that she also took he liberty of cleaning the loose items of rubbish inside my bin as they MUST be put in a black binliner SHE WENT THROUGH MY BIN FFS!

I have been nothing but pleasant to her to date but my fuse is running short and I fear if there is one more tiny incident then I will choke her! And btw they blast their tv up every night with the loudest base ever to the point that I can barley hear my own tv.

I find someone intruding on my personal space is very offensive and rude and that she just likes to complain. They are also in a legal battle with the downstairs neighbours over a proposed extension to their flat

AIBU to be so mad?

Agree, shame her about the shagging, I would wait till she knocked on your door again then you get to see her face

Tell her your children asked what the noise was.

Remove your address from items before you put them outside, bag your stuff from your bin and tie a knot in it so she can't go through it. Keep a record of her visits.

This is quoted from Gardenlaw website off their General Topics forum

"The law calls an unreasonable disturbance of the enjoyment of property a nuisance, but just because you find your neighbours loud music or wind chimes in the garden a nuisance it does not mean that the law is being broken. In flats and semi-detached houses some noise from neighbours in unavoidable. You have to put up with what is reasonable, and you yourself must behave reasonably. If you make a lot of noise in retaliation you could be just as guilty of nuisance"

If you live in a flat there is bound to be noise from the neighbours.

"They are in their sixties. She is at home most of the time. I heard them shagging the other morning... puke." and "And btw they blast their tv up every night with the loudest base ever to the point that I can barley hear my own tv."

OP, you've got a couple of things there you can use. Lots of ways to play it. Every time their TV disturbs you, give her a taste of her own medicine & knock on her door & complain. She might start to get the hint.
With the shagging, knock on their door while it's happening. Or wait til after & then tell her to keep it down as they were very noisy / you don't want to explain to your DS what was happening.
Your neighbour needs to start realising that it cuts both ways, she can hear you, but you can also hear her & you could argue that the sound of people shagging is far worse than hearing people walking above you!
Finally, keep a diary of each time she contacts you, this builds up evidence of harassment. You might then say to her that if she doesn't stop, you'll be making a complaint to the police.

"Next time you hear her shagging, bang on the wall"

Better than that - hold your phone against the wall and record it. Next time she comes to your door, play it back to her.

I like that idea Sallyingforth

I can hear my neighbours shagging and it was suggested to me to shout out scores once they've finished, with a commentary on their performance. I haven't done this but the thought of it cheered me up.

Though it stands to reason that if you can hear her shagging, then she'd be able to hear you shagging too.... That'd put me off a bit, I think!

You could probably take out some kind of injunction, due to the number of times she knocks on the door and harrasses you and also her bin snooping, but tbh the process would probably take longer than your lease.

I would live as normal, no tip-toeing around, just live normal.
Put a note inside your bin - "STAY OUT OF MY BIN"
Next time she complains to you tell her you want her to keep her shagging noise down because it sounds like a cat being strangled and you also want her to keep her TV down.
If she doesn't keep the TV level down, find a really annoying song and play it on repeat really loudly each time her TV is blaring.
Stick a note on your door - "I am not making any noise so please go away".
Don't answer the door anymore.

I totally agree with knocking on her door when the tv is blaring, and when they are shagging you could either knock again saying they are disturbing you with their noise or pretend to be concerned about her welfare

they really do need to know that noise travels both ways

Oh definitely tell her "You do realize that lack of soundproofing go both ways? You could also try tone down your late night tv and early morning bedroom antics, both disturb our child".

lots of great and very funny advice ;) she's definitely not lonely just bloody annoying