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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have said to DH 'Cook your own meals in future'?

77 replies

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 10/05/2012 20:18

EVERY bloody time I cook he finds something to moan about.

'I don't fancy this'
'I don't really like this'
'You should have put X and Y in the recipe instead'
'It's overcooked' (It never is by the way, he undercooks EVERYTHING)
'Why have you done this tonight? We should have had X instead'

EVERY day I ask him what he fancies for tea that night, he always says he doesn't mind or doesn't know. He never gives any ideas for meal planning/food shopping/food preparation. Occasionally he will cook but not often.

I've told him tonight he can sort his own meals out in future as I'm sick of the moaning

OP posts:
HumphreyCobbler · 10/05/2012 20:30

he is being unbelievably rude and should indeed have to cook his own meals in future.

gomowthelawn · 10/05/2012 20:31

I do all the cooking, but to be fair to DH he eats it, without complaint, and says thank you, even if it disgusting, which it sometimes is! If he whined I'd feed him salmon every day for a month. He hates salmon Grin

AThingInYourLife · 10/05/2012 20:32

:o Kew's nice shed

pickles35 · 10/05/2012 20:33

Cook me dinner! Im hank marvin and I'd be ever so grateful.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 10/05/2012 20:34

My three year old is really difficult and whinges and wants my attention from the moment we get in from picking DD2 up from school, so the meal is often cooked whilst he holds on to my legs. I don't think DH truly 'gets' how challenging it is to get a meal ready each day, cater for DD2 and DS's fussiness and keep him happy too.

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 10/05/2012 20:34

Big Hmm for "constructive criticism"

That's just what people who like being dicks to other people use to justify why we should listen to their nastiness.

The only genuinely constructive criticism is gently given by an expert in response to a request.

Moaning about your wife's cooking does not count.

ineedamiracle · 10/05/2012 20:35

I spend half my life searching for a recipe for "whatever" as this is what DH asks for every night - the search continues Angry

MadameChinLegs · 10/05/2012 20:39

OP, is there anything that you have cooked that he has complimented? If so, I'd make him that one meal (for everyone) every single night, on, and on, and on until he quesries it, "well, this is the only thing you like?"

Btw, he wouldn't have any teeth left after the 'constructive criticism' remark, so best buy a blender Grin

bogeyface · 10/05/2012 20:39

I can help you there Ineed

You cook your favourite meal, plate it up and eat it. When your OH asks where his is you say "You wanted "Whatever" and i ran out".

Job done.

chipmunksex · 10/05/2012 20:39

YANBU

I usually cook for dh except Sundays he does Sundays.

When I know he's on his way home I text him to let him know what it's gonna be to give him a chance to say he doesn't fancy it and will get himself something. (he walks right past sainsburys on his way home)

Mostly he's grateful to have something made for him, thanks me and yums it up.

HecateTrivia · 10/05/2012 20:41

constructive criticism?

When you asked him beforehand what he wanted and he wouldn't tell you?

How is saying he doesn't mind/know what he wants to eat and then when you prepare something, saying
"I don't fancy this'
'I don't really like this'
'Why have you done this tonight? We should have had X instead'

Constructive criticism? How exactly?

Sounds like bullying to me. Sounds like out and out foulness.

No matter WHAT you cook, it won't be right, because it's not about the food, it's about having a moan.

GrahamTribe · 10/05/2012 20:42

"he says I need to learn to take constructive criticism!"

He said what?! Shock He needs to learn some fucking manners!

GrimmaTheNome · 10/05/2012 20:48

My DH is like this. If I ask him what he wants ahead of time 'whatevers going'. Or sometimes 'not xxxxx...'. I ask him to tell me what he does want not what he doesn't - sometimes he'll do it but only for one meal. And he 'goes off' things he likes and which I cook perfectly well if we have them too often (out of my desparation). For instance spag bol. How can anyone go off that? Last weekend he asked what was for dinner I said,' well, I've some meat sauce in the freezer' and he pulls an awful face like I'd offered him tripe ...'...which I could make into lasagne if you want'. He had the grace to look shamefaced at his facepulling Grin

Chubfuddler · 10/05/2012 20:48

The one and only time Dh complained about what I had cooked, I did exactly what ohdearnigel's mum did. I picked up his plate, went outside, put the plate and food in the wheelie bin then ate my own dinner. Dh was completely stunned but admitted he had deserved it.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 10/05/2012 20:50

Grimma, my DH does that face too. Like a sulky child's face!

Thanks for the replies everyone, I'll let you know how it all goes! Grin

OP posts:
maddening · 10/05/2012 20:52

my df always cooks and puts a great deal of thought and effort into doing so, I would never say that to him - I always let him know I appreciate my dinner

TheFlyingFishFinger · 10/05/2012 20:54

I feel your pain. DH is a fussy eater and I can nay cook a few things that he eats and have to ask him everyday what he wants for dinner, and the convo is normally an hour long. It drives me fucking mental. When I cook a meal from scratch and it takes ages, then I give it too him and he starts picking at it I feel like throwing the plate at him, drives me mad.

But be warned - i tried this "well YOU cook" tactic before and we literally had kievs for a week.

bjf1 · 10/05/2012 20:56

Seriously, marriages have died a death due to attitudes like your DH's.

NagooIsBuildingAnArk · 10/05/2012 20:57

placemarking :)

I am guilty of not-liking DH's cooking. I would rather eat something I made myself most of the time. I try to pretend it's nice but I'm not a good liar. I cook 90% of the time

GrimmaTheNome · 10/05/2012 21:12

I'd happily eat kievs for a week. But one of DHs faddinesses is that he can only eat M&S chicken and then only sometimes before he 'goes off' them. Actually, he's been out a few evenings recently so I've been eating up frozen kievs and chicken breasts in breadcrumbs.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 10/05/2012 21:14

DH always appreciates his food and his sex

He better had ! Smile

MadameChinLegs · 10/05/2012 21:15

Do let us know what you do and how your DH takes it Grin it'll be like The Great Laundry Thread.

Tiddlyompompom · 10/05/2012 21:15

Nigel's mum is brilliant... Grin

DH cooks for me every night, almost always has. He hates my cooking, whines about it, offers that oh so 'constructive criticism', and generally makes me feel like not bothering again. So largely, I don't.
I, in turn, always thank him for cooking, he's a bloody good cook and loves it. He is a real food snob and competetive cook tho, to the point where my sister hates us coming for meals.

He's away at the mo, so I'm at home copying his 'proper' ragu recipe, which we'll probably finish off this weekend - he'll almost definitely complain that my 'mirepoix' wasn't chopped finely enough, the pancetta was added at the wrong stage, and I probably bought the wrong kind of mince. And he wonders why I don't enjoy cooking... Hmm Baking on the other hand is brilliant! :)

bogeyface · 10/05/2012 21:21

Sounds like I missed something!

Tell me more of this "Great Laundry Thread" please!

MadameChinLegs · 10/05/2012 21:25

well, to sum up

*Wife wanted tumble dryer as laundry was too big a job, DH didnt want one
*Wife saved her own money and bought one, and put it in their walk in wardrobe/laundry room type place.
*her DH walked past it every day for at least a month before realising it was there
*he then got cross that she had bought one as "keeping on top of the laundry is perfectly easy you dont need one of these"
*she secretly decided to stop doing any of his laundry
*after a month, her DH said "gosh, I don't know where all my socks have gone, I must buy some more Hmm "

She posted nearly every day to update, from the day she bought the dryer. Was very funny!