To think that if you can't afford to run a car...

[FlouncyMcFlouncer]

... you shouldn't assume 'rights' over someone else's?

I have a friend who passed her driving test four years ago. In that time, she has never bought a car, as she 'can't afford it'. She has, however, taken several expensive holidays, redecorated a couple of times, bought a laptop, an i-pad and an i-phone, and paid off £700 debts that her son ran up at Uni.

She frequently asks me for lifts and to run errands for her, using the phrase 'it's easy for you, you've got the car'. I don't, however, take expensive holidays, redecorate, own an ipad, iphone, or a new laptop, or pay off other people's feckless debts.

I own and run the car because I prioritise that above other things, not because I'm wealthier than her - in fact, theirs is a two-wage household and mine is not.

Perhaps 'assuming rights' was the wrong phrase to use but I find myself increasingly narked, not be doing the favours for her, but by her assumption that she can choose not to run a car because mine is available to her....

YANBU.

Royally taking the piss. Does she ever offer petrol money even?

Say no! Say you can't afford the petrol to run her errands.

Then you have to make yourself unavailable or just be upfront with her and tell her that due to the high costs of petrol, you are cutting down on unnecessary journeys with the car because, like the rest of the UK, you have to cut back and the first thing you need to do is reduce the amount you pay in petrol.

She might not have even considered the amount you pay in petrol so you'll have to make that clear to her. Say that you don't mind giving her a lift if you are already making a journey, but that you can no longer offer lifts as and when because petrol prices are just too high. Surely no-one can argue with that?

start asking her to do things ith her ipad/laptop as it is easier for her aas she has them...

and yes it is bloody annoying. it is bloody annoying wwhen people are bleating about something I have that they don't but they don't see the sacrifices we have made in otherr areas to do that.

I don't think it would be unreasonable in these straitened times to point out the cost of running a car and how you will have to try using it less as petrol, insurance, tax, MOT& service costs make it very expensive. Simply say that you can't if she asks for errands to be run (cheek!) or say you don't mind doing it but will have to charge her.

YANBU but you need to learn how to say "No" ... as do I! One of the mums at my DC's school is car-less through choice, uses buses and trains a lot but is never shy of asking for a lift and has never, in 3 years, ever offered any petrol money when I've dropped her and her DC home after school, even though her house is 4 miles in the wrong direction. Having just filled up my car with petrol this morning, at a whopping £1.39 per litre, I have had enough! I'm not running a charity.

Don't give her anymore lifts or ask for petrol money. I give lifts to a friend of mine quite frequently because she doesn't drive. I sometimes ask for petrol money and I sometimes say no because it's not convenient. Don't let her take advantage.

As I said, I don't mind doing the favours (or do I? Is this my subconscious screaming to be heard perhaps?), although no, she doesn't offer fuel money... it's more the 'you're luckier than me because you've got a car' thing that bugs me. It's not 'luck', it's prioritising!

She doesn't offer petrol money!

Tell her to buy a bike.

I think non drivers often (not always) have a knack of taking advantage of those who do... Used to happen to me a lot! (similar thread on here now actually, about elcs and driving!)

We're not rich either - I do a minimum wage job 16 hours a week and dh works in retail, and right now I'm also on maternity leave so affording our car is a struggle but I'd rather have the car over holidays etc. It makes our lives so much easier.

Yanbu.

YANBU but you need to tell her that it's getting on your tits, not us

YANBU.
We were making too many sacrifices to run a car so have recently given up having a car.
We are finally paying off our old debt and giving our tired old house a much needed decor makeover.

But we are completely self-sufficient and wouldn't dream of expecting lifts from people.

Good point Nagoo

YANBU but she's playing you for a sucker - just say no! it clearly IS pissing you off, so stop giving her the lifts.

YANBU

I would ask to borrow her ipod, ipad, laptop etc each week 'because you've got the ipod, ipad, laptop'! And see if she takes the hint!

You're right.

I don't think I'd mind if I felt she genuinely couldn't afford a car. Then I'd feel more generous about it - after all, she is my friend and I would want to help her.

perhaps next time give her the number of the local taxi firm?

YANBU. I like the earlier mention of a bike. Good luck.

Tres Cheeky, yanbu.

tell her to use her ipad to do her errands online make it pay silly woman just say no i cant as petrol is so expensive and you need to keep your car for essential familiy errands

Go on about how lucky she is to be able to afford holidays, ipads etc.

Oh and just say no

next time she asks - ask if she can take you on holiday in return

What a cheeky fucking bitch!

Tell her no, no and no again!

Well next time she goes on holiday just offer her the dates that you're free and expect the flight tickets to arrive (at her expense of course) :)