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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be fuming at dh?

29 replies

babloogirl · 09/05/2012 20:35

He took our 7 months dd out so I can get a little break/clean.

He came back with a take away and admitted to me that he left dd in the car when he went to order the take away.

He doesn't understand why I am cross with him.

Aibu to be very very very angry?

OP posts:
COCKadoodledooo · 09/05/2012 20:40

Is she your first?

I think it would depend on how long she was alone for and whether she was out of sight. If it was just to give the order, or just to pick it up, I'd be ok with it. Giving the order then hanging around inside for 20 minutes so they could cook it? Not so much.

I guess if she was in an infant carrier type seat he could have taken her in with him.

FarSideOfFuckingBalloons · 09/05/2012 20:42

Left her where? Was she out of sight?
Did he have to wait for food, or was it just 2 minutes?

Tbh I wouldn't have done that with my first but by the 3rd, I would pop into a shop for 1 minute if they were sleeping and in clear view.

PotteringAlong · 09/05/2012 20:43

I'm with cock - depends where and for how long. If she was asleep, he could see her and it was for 2 mins ok; 20 mins our of sight not ok.,

SerendipitousHarlot · 09/05/2012 20:44

Ahhh, listen.... he was just trying to do something nice for you. Give the guy a break, don't be angry with him.

SerendipitousHarlot · 09/05/2012 20:45

Dependent on him not leaving her for half an hour, obviously!

redskyatnight · 09/05/2012 20:45

Agree if car in sight and it was just for a couple of minutes can't see a problem.
You can argue that there is more risk in taking the child out of the car (may be hit by other car in car park for e.g.) than leaving them there. I was never quite sure what to do when I had a sleeping baby in the car, I had to fill up with fuel and it wasn't somewhere that had the pay at pump thingy.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 09/05/2012 20:45

Depends on exactly how long and where he left her - 1 minute in full view in locked car fine. half hour while he sat in the take away having a beer while they did the food not fine. TBH, I ran into shops on occasion leaving a sleeping baby in teh car seat for a minute or two.

Original poster
babloogirl · 09/05/2012 20:46

Yes she is my 1st can you tell?Blush

He left her in the car, she was awake, he didn't say if he could see her, he just said the car was parked so it is alright...

She was in an infant seat which he could have taken with him

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 09/05/2012 20:48

Yes, YABU. He is her parent too, and I don't really think he'd do anything to put her at risk. Enjoy your takeaway and let it go.

Shakey1500 · 09/05/2012 21:07

I agree it's one to let go. But I understand why you feel as you do.

akaemmafrost · 09/05/2012 21:09

Well I always took mine with me asleep or not. I probably wouldn't be fuming but I would tell him I felt. It wasn't an issue with ex (dc dad) because he was even more uptight and PFB than me. I understand why you are upset.

dondon33 · 09/05/2012 21:12

If it makes you feel any better....My Ex once took Ds to the shop in his pram, parked him outside, then completely forgot he had taken him and walked almost all the way home before realising, then had to run back for him. useless knob

PinkChampagneandStrawberries · 09/05/2012 21:12

I wouldn't be happy with my dp for doing that either

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 09/05/2012 21:13

My mother did this with me once........I am told, left me in my beautiful silver cross coach pram outside a shop and walked half way home before coming to the conclusion she was "missing something".

JustFab · 09/05/2012 21:14

I am not allowed to leave the kids in the car now and they are well past baby age! YANBU to be fuming with him but you need to talk about what is acceptable to you both.

Noqontrol · 09/05/2012 21:15

It depends. If he could see the car and was watching it then YABU. But if it was parked round the corner where it couldn't be seen then YANBU. I leave my two in the car when I go to the chippy. But only if I can get the space right outside the shop so I can keep an eye on them through the huge glass window.

Back2Two · 09/05/2012 21:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Back2Two · 09/05/2012 21:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

babybythesea · 09/05/2012 21:19

My gran left my aunt, age six weeks, in her carry cot on the dining room table with the door shut (so it was quiet) while they packed to go on holiday. They got all the way to the station with their bags (a half hour walk) before my Mum (aged 4) wondered out loud why they weren't taking the new baby on their holiday....

babybythesea · 09/05/2012 21:20

Oh, and depends on the circumstances but I would think it's likely to have been 2 mins while he nipped in, or he might not have been happy doing it.

SeventhEverything · 09/05/2012 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 09/05/2012 21:22

I would be cross too!

This weekend DH let the shop assistant take DS(5) to the staff loos on his own. I was livid about that too!

Although I accept that I can be a little irrational about these things

Bumdrop · 09/05/2012 21:45

Is it your first ? Bloody cheek, what 's that to do with it ?
I think it's illegal,to leave kids unattended in a car ?

squeakytoy · 09/05/2012 21:53

A 7 month old asleep in a seat is NOT going to release the handbrake.

If he was in the chipshop, while the car was outside, in full view, then really, what is the issue here?

Noqontrol · 09/05/2012 22:04

No not illegal bumdrop. Well, unless you piss off and do some shopping for an hour, and then it would be. It's about applying common sense to the situation from a legal standpoint.