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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really disappointed that my 5 year old daughter just

72 replies

helloclitty · 09/05/2012 17:56

said whilst role playing "No I can't be the doctor because I'm a girl, doctors are boys and nurses are girls"
I know she probably doesn't totally even understand the difference in roles but this subtle gender stereotyping in society really annoys me. Not just for girls boys too. Boys have to be tough and unemotional etc which is totally wrong IMO.

I wouldn't mind but I bought her a doctors outfit rather than a nurses a few years back complete with doctors bag.

OP posts:
LadySybilDeChocolate · 09/05/2012 17:57

You need to correct her on that. A woman can have any job she chooses. Smile

maisie215 · 09/05/2012 17:59

My son thinks all women are doctors and all men are engineers Grin He even asked his granny if she is a doctor solely based on her gender. He's three.

chandellina · 09/05/2012 18:03

Take her to a female gp from now on and nip that in the bud.

Annunziata · 09/05/2012 18:09

How upsetting. But buying her a doctors dress up kit isn't going to cut it, you have to talk to her and teach her too.

Littlefish · 09/05/2012 18:14

My dd said this, and we already have a female GP and several female friends who are doctors!

Original poster
helloclitty · 09/05/2012 18:15

Annunziata I honestly have chatted to her, she even has a friend whose mum is a doctor, although she's never seen her at work. I can obviously rectify this but I am so surprised that somehow she has been given this impression, which is most definitely not from myself or DH.

OP posts:
MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 09/05/2012 19:51

Statistically doctors are more likely to be female from now on..
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8077083.stm

My DD1 is a med student and reckons there are more girls than boys in her cohort.

Definitely a case for showing her as many role models as possible :) Not that there is anything wrong with nursing being a 'womens' profession (that's my nursing student DD2!) but the stereotypes do seem to be ingrained in kids so young!

bunnyspoiler · 09/05/2012 19:53

This is all changing, more females than males are becoming doctors as girls do better at school than boys. More and more male nurses about too as the gender barriers/stereotypes slowly break down. Both professions need good brains of course.

DestinationUnknown · 09/05/2012 20:21

I have friends who are both drs - she is a consultant & he is a GP. Their son (5) is convinced that his mum is a nurse, there is no way a mummy can be a doctor according to him!

SalopianTubes · 09/05/2012 20:26

Snap! My DD said exactly the same thing to me a day or two ago!

I reminded her of all the times she's been to the GP and seen by a woman. She seemed to accept this, but I do wonder where she got that impression from.

redwineformethanks · 09/05/2012 20:26

I remember going on a date about 15 years ago and thinking it was a bit unusual he was a male nurse. Am shocked at myself now for being so outdated. Definitely a good idea to give your DD lots of role models

hanahsaunt · 09/05/2012 20:27

I have to confess to being rather blunt with my otherwise dMIL at the weekend when she suggested buying dd a nurse costume to complement ds3's doctor costume ...

bunnyspoiler · 09/05/2012 20:32

It's a bit depressing that people don't want their children of either sex to become nurses, it's a much better job than medicine these days. Nurses are taking over and directing a lot of patient care.

SauvignonBlanche · 09/05/2012 20:38

My SIL told me (the second time I met her)!how annoyed she was when her parents bought her DD a nurse's outfit as she could do so much better than that.
I was a little Hmm as she knew I was a nurse!
OP your DD is only 5, I wouldn't fret about it.

bunnyspoiler · 09/05/2012 20:42

Yes, I had that from brother in law SauvignonBlanche . His DD told him she wanted to be a nurse and he laughed and said 'I hope not, you'll do better than that'. I was fuming on behalf of nurses everywhere and secretly thinking 'but his DD isn't academic enough to become a nurse'.

stealthsquiggle · 09/05/2012 20:43

You can buy nice gender neutral outfits for both doctors and nurses (nurse's outfits don't have to be dresses, and are pretty unlikely to be in RL, after all..).TBH I am not sure what 5yo DD would say on the subject - she has met more female doctors than male, although not many nurses of either gender (in fact, come to think of it, she tends to assume they are all doctors - she insisted that matron at school (who is in fact a very well qualified nurse) was a doctor - so I guess that means she is OK with female doctors but confused about the role of a nurse..Hmm)

lardylump · 09/05/2012 20:44

at 5 I thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.

Longtalljosie · 09/05/2012 20:45

Sauvignon - how bloody rude of her. Is she usually that bad?

SauvignonBlanche · 09/05/2012 20:46

I wouldn't say nursing is a 'better' or 'worse' job than medicine it is a very different profession but, from personal experience I know it is very rewarding.
Some attitudes towards it are very depressing though.

hels71 · 09/05/2012 20:49

My DD(4) said the same thing. she did not realise that there was any difference between the job of a doctor or a nurse....just that men were called doctors and ladies nurses..........

SauvignonBlanche · 09/05/2012 20:50

She's still pretty tactless josie, this was 19 years ago but it wasn't a remark you'd forget, from a primary school teacher (God knows what she was teaching those children).

Finocchio · 09/05/2012 20:51

5yos can be a bit weird. My 5yo dd announced that when she was grown up she'd like to be a stay at home mummy, just like me. I am not quite sure how she'd failed to notice that she'd been in nursery since she was 3 months old and gone to after school care and holiday care and to other people's houses on a very regular basis.
It did make me think that perhaps I don't spend enough time in the office. But I think they can be oblivious at that age.

I wanted to be a nurse aged 5 too, and my parents used to say, no, you could be a doctor. But I knew they were wrong. I had a ladybird book about The nurse and the nurses were all women. and the doctors men.

bunnyspoiler · 09/05/2012 20:54

I think it's better, certainly for work/life balance. Medicine is obsessed with internal politics. The senior medics are all an unhappy bunch where I work and they all hate and resent each other . And if you dare to ask for part time work you might as well give up on career progression. General practice being an exception. Nursing is much more progressive and you can be an academic too (I've just finished my Phd).

Finocchio · 09/05/2012 21:06

GPs get a good work life balance and it's easy to work part time, once you've got through all the house officer years.

I would just keep banging on about all the different options and how gender needn't really come into career decisions. 5yos are often obsessed with gender and they do seem to live at times in a 1950s storybook world, but as they get a bit older they are more capable at looking around them, and more amenable to discusssion.

bunnyspoiler · 09/05/2012 21:08

Yes, I said general practice was an exception.