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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be really disappointed that my 5 year old daughter just

72 replies

helloclitty · 09/05/2012 17:56

said whilst role playing "No I can't be the doctor because I'm a girl, doctors are boys and nurses are girls"
I know she probably doesn't totally even understand the difference in roles but this subtle gender stereotyping in society really annoys me. Not just for girls boys too. Boys have to be tough and unemotional etc which is totally wrong IMO.

I wouldn't mind but I bought her a doctors outfit rather than a nurses a few years back complete with doctors bag.

OP posts:

Meglet · 09/05/2012 21:10

yanbu.

I insist DD and DS play doctors and consultants so they don't start stereotyping.

AdoraBell · 09/05/2012 21:19

See if you can find female Dr, dentist, optician etc, anyone she needs to see for check up, see if you can change to the female professional. Look out for female writers, journalists, world leaders, tell the boss of Germany is called Angela things like that.

bunnyspoiler · 09/05/2012 21:25

yes, but also ok for females and males to be in other, less high profile jobs too. can't abide job snobbery and people's worth being defined by what they do for a job.

DeWe · 09/05/2012 21:28

My dsis (age 6) was most put out when I got a doctor's outfit (age 3) I remember her proclaiming that she was the doctor. She's now a GP.

kirsty75005 · 09/05/2012 21:35

I remember when I was five wanting to be a nurse and being most indignant when someone suggested I be a doctor because I was a girl and only boys became doctors.

My job these days ? Lecturing mathematics to computer science majors. I wouldn't worry yet that your child may be ruling out careers on the basis of gender stereotyping.

SodThat · 09/05/2012 21:42

i think you are overthinking things OP

RightBuggerforit · 09/05/2012 21:47

My dd (2.5) says she's a doctor! Usually 'a baby doctor', in fact she came at my 7 month pregnant belly today with her play DIY kit plyers and said 'I cut mummy's tummy'! Errr, no I don't want a ceasarian right now thanks!

She also think everyone else is a doctor (the optician, nurses, anyone in a small office on a computer). Except daddy, he's a magician and a pilot, apparently! :D

Original poster

helloclitty · 09/05/2012 23:37

I wouldn't say I was over thinking things. It's simply strange that a child with the influences around her such as female doctors would gender stereotype.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 09/05/2012 23:44

It's probably because Nurses dressing up outfits are more popular with girls than boys.

Mind you, I still see a lot of subtle gender stereotyping on MN

For example if someone mentions they need to see the Head teacher, often people will say "Yes, go and see him"

Or "I had my boiler fixed today and it still doesn't work"...people will often say, "Call him out again and tell him to fix it properly"

helenlynn · 09/05/2012 23:55

Finocchio sounds like you're mostly at home when she arrives home, so the only logical conclusion is that you've been sitting there all day, thinking mum thoughts and waiting until it's time to collect her/welcome her back from all the busy things she goes out and does.

Reminds me of the child who was surprised to learn that my MiL, his class teacher at primary school, did not put herself away in the classroom cupboard at the end of the school day :-)

entropygirl · 10/05/2012 01:21

See this is why it pisses me off so much when people say its noones business but theirs how they bring up their child....coz its clear your DD didn't get that impression at home....so...ahh fuck it I can't be bothered with reasoned argument...

You know all those people that dress their DDs in pink princess shit that they wouldn't dream of dressing a DS in (because pink is only good enough for girls)? It's their fault. All of it.

Original poster

helloclitty · 10/05/2012 06:56

entropygirl You are probably right. I really do think it's because many of her male friends have been bought doctors stuff and the girls all have nurses stuff. Probably bought by well meaning relatives.
I remember turning the gender on Ms Polly's doctor when singing to my DD and my elderly neighbour, upon hearing my version, said "it's political correctness gone mad". Made me feel as though I was a loon but actually I need not have bothered because outside influence seem to have won anyhow.

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 10/05/2012 07:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mockingjay · 10/05/2012 07:51

This subtle stereotyping drives me nuts too, and it is really deep-seated in our society. Women still being expected to change names on marriage is a good example.

Set her straight OP. Introduce her to as many strong women (and men) and you can!

Original poster

helloclitty · 10/05/2012 08:56

Luckily child care and housework is split 50/50 in our house. I have no doubt that she'll grow up knowing she can be anything she chooses because she is surrounded great role models. I am just a tad disappointed that gender stereotyping in society seems to have had more influence on this occasion that the immediate influences around her.

OP posts:

golemmings · 10/05/2012 09:14

My niece (4) asked for a medical kit for Christmas so we bought her one with a doctor's outfit to wear. I've spent the last 5 months feeling like an unreasonable, machiavellian and manipulative auntie. Having read that's posts I've stopped feeling guilty. Thank you!

entropygirl · 10/05/2012 12:09

yes we should never forget that if anything boys are getting an even worse deal out of stereotyping than girls....

how many boys would be willing to admit that they wanted to be nurse? How many would admit that pink is their favourite colour, or that their favourite play activity was doll's tea party?

At least girls are allowed to aspire to be a doctor, to wear anything going, to have blue as a favourite colour and to like football.....

MsWeatherwax · 10/05/2012 21:47

It's in everything: children's books are full of these stereotypes and TV is too. You can't avoid these things really though :( But it means it's easy for them to pick up from that.

babybarrister · 10/05/2012 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainydaysarebad · 10/05/2012 23:18

DD does this sometimes. "I can't be a builder because I'm a girl". I just gently tell her that she can be whatever she wants to be, and that girls can do the same jobs as boys and vice versa. I wouldn't ignore it - just gently correct her every time.

whatsthatnoise · 10/05/2012 23:28

My 3year old dd keeps telling me she is going to be a King when she grows up :o

Iteotwawki · 11/05/2012 04:09

Entropy - my older son's favourite colour is pink. He gets teased constantly but he refuses to pick a different one, he likes pink. I was so sad the day he took his pink cover from his drinks bottle and said he'd rather keep it to use at home :/

heliumballoon · 11/05/2012 04:22

My DD fell about laughing when I showed her a picture of a female astronaut in tts paper. "Don't be silly mummy, ladies can't be astronauts". Made me seriously consider marching down to nursery and producing a wall poster of pics of female astronauts, male cleaners, female train drivers etc.

Mind you, we went to four chemists yesterday trying to find DD an electric toothbrush. The choice- spiderman or barbie. The best we could find was Disney princesses. Not a single gender neutral one. It makes me furious.

entropygirl · 11/05/2012 09:23

iteo :( good on him/you for persevering...it really is madness isn't it?

So what about a flap opening book with pictures of men and women in their non-work clothes that says 'Guess what job I do?' and then you open the flap and see them pictured in their non-stereotypical jobs/work clothes.

Original poster

helloclitty · 11/05/2012 10:45

entropy
What a fab idea! Make that book it, I am sure it would be a hit!

OP posts:

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