to think there are more horrible people in the world than nice?

[Movingmay]

I probably am. However over the last few years things that have happened to me personally have made me come to this conclusion. Views?

I had a rant to DH and concluded he is [the ranter] genuinely sad. However that said I still cannot get my head round "how bloody dare he". It is unlikely I shall see this person again but if someone familiar to me ranted then I would be more likely to retort

Funnily I was discussing this with DH last night. I think the majority of people are nice, in spite of having had some run ins with utter arseholes of late. DH countered that the majority of people are selfish and neither nice nor horrible.

The way I have thought about it recently, to stop me being upset with the utter ignorance I have been on the receiving end of from strangers, is that I probably interact with a fair few people each day, let's for argument's sake say 10. So this year I've mingled with over 1000 people. Most of them left no impression, many made me smile, three made me cry. Thus more people are nice than nasty. Proven fact, innit!

Having read The Human Zoo a few years ago, Desmond Morris puts forward the idea that in modern societys, due to the size of them, it is a lot harder to find empathy. Someone who does not know you, won't automatically assign you a life history and a value as a human. So the only picture they have of you is at that moment and therefore they will behave to you in accordance to the picture they have.
Hope that makes sense.
Also sadly people who lack empathy are more likely to gain positions of power as they won't have to dismiss the stirrings of consience about the people who loose out to them and therefore they will have a greater influence in shaping society overall which will have a trickle down effect in turn.
It is one of the reasons the internet is good, imo, because it connects ordinary people and lacks the basis for making judgments based on appearence.

I like your thinking butwhat

frida That is so sad.

I think there are many more nicer people than there are horrible, you just get to hear about the bad uns more, and they leave a lasting impression when you do cross their paths. In my day to day life I meet hardly an nasty beings, and some of the few I ve met have had really bad life experiences or are ill. I have had very few experiences with horrible people.

See, thats the thing DG, a few years ago I would have said that I hadn't really came across many nasty people but now I've had a few run ins.

I have spent all day blubbing.

I always try to assume people are nice until they prove otherwise and then something happened recently which maybe made me think the reverse. I discussed this with some good friends and was surprised that their world view was much more cynical than mine and basically everybody is out to get you!!!

I do get the feeling that over the last 20 years there has been a decline in manners and a rise in aggressivity (now I'm sounding like my mother ).

Don't let the horrible ones get to you. That is what happened to them............

I think I live in movingmayland and expect not to be shouted at by a fully grown adult who doesn't know me. Shock to the system.

I am probably biased the other way. I work in a fantastic setting but most of our young people bite, hit, kick and spit on a regular basis, they are non-verbal and not able to easily communicate their frustrations or worries so those fears/worries/frustrations often come out in a physical way. Yet day after day the staff turn up smiling and ready to start afresh despite having bruises and bite marks on their bodies inflicted on them the previous day. Visitors often comment on what a happy, secure and friendly place we are and that is in no small way thanks to a great number of good people, staff and youngsters alike.

Thanks catgirl I needed that.

I'm a great believer in what goes around comes around. Just wait OP they will get their comeuppance.

I think sometimes we seem to have more experiences with nasty people if we look like a target somehow (eg. a bit shy, vulnerable-looking, quiet, etc.).

I say that because I used to be one of those people. :) I was always going home from work in floods of tears from someone or other getting at me, and the more I went out of my way to be nice... the worse they seemed to get.

My experience of the world started changing as I gradually learned to be more assertive. Before when someone yelled at me, I would be in shock and go off somewhere and cry. Now if someone yells at me, I will glare at them, keep my voice low, but say firmly "Do not yell at me. That is unacceptable."

If they continue to do so I will take further action depending on the circumstances. If I can walk away I walk away. If its at work or someone else in a work setting I will pointedly ask for their name (or look at their name badge), and will say "If you continue this aggressive behaviour I am going to report you."

Nobody at work (or pretty much anywhere) yells at me anymore. ;)

Oh, and if its not yelling but something else obnoxious - "You're being very rude."

Depending on whether they continue or back down and apologise, we either continue or I say "I'm not willing to continue this conversation with you."

Took me a long time to learn to actually say these things, but they honestly changed my life. :)

Anyone else dying to know what exactly happened? no? just me then....

No I want to know too ...

I'll out myself, naughty.

i hope and believe theres more good than bad but i deffo think people are more selfish now adays,though that dosent make them bad

It will out them as well ...

No,no,no. I have already got to face them regularly. i just want a quiet life.

Moving, I have dealt with my nasty person incident today by coming home, scrutinising the company policy that I had allegedly infringed and proved unequivocally, and in print, that I have not.

I shall be providing said documentation tomorrow.

And that, my friend is how I like my karma served.

I used to think there were more nice people than nasty. But then I got stuck in the middle of a really big natural disaster. I expected to see lots of people helping each other but the reality, which I saw first hand and was not really reported internationally, was shocking. When pushed to the limit people do what they can to survive and are inherently selfish. Survival of the fittest and all that.
As a result I am now 100% sure that we are a pretty nasty race really.
And coming to this realization was a really pivotal point in my life.

I like it enjoy. I can't really deal with NP, I'm afraid so I will have to play the long karma game.

I'm at the point crazy where that doesn't surprise me at all. As sad as it is. TMT toomanytossers