AIBU to think that most parents seem to stop at 2 children?

[Boboli]

I'm one of 3 and it seemed quite the norm when I was growing up - my perception was lots of families of 3 children. Now I and majority of friends have 2 DCs and I'm surprised that it seems automatically accepted you've had your children when you reach 2 and that you'd be 'brave'/'mad' to go on.

We're contemplating no 3 but occasionally wonder if everyone else knows something we don't :) I know every family situation is different but have I missed something?

i was one of three, well still am n a way.
it can be tricky as one often feels left out

My DH is one of three, I am one of two. Our parents are of families between 2 and 8 kids. We are the only ones with (and sticking to) one.

I think 3 children is a lovely number but not financially possible for most families these days.

Loads of families with 3 or more at our School- it is a Catholic one though.

All my friends have 3 or 4 children, my relatives have 1 or 2. I have 3 but now regret not having a 4th ( I'm too old now).

I originally wanted three, but after the pregnancy and birth from hell, stopped at one. I must admit to no regrets whatsoever, just love the fact that we have all that baby stuff well behind us. Mind you, if I could have a five year old rather than a baby I would certainly consider it.

I was always adamant that I would have no more than two DC's, and plan to stick with that, although if an accident should happen it wouldn't be the end of the world. I'm an only child and have a tiny family so that is what I know, but wanted my DC's to have one sibling as being an only is lonely. DH OTOH is one of four and that is what he would ideally have no chance

I just can't imagine the logistics of three, needing the bigger car, bigger house etc, more expensive holidays. Also I'd probably be at least 40 before I could have a third and although that is a good age for lots of new mums, to me it just feels too old (very personal view). My SIL's are all likely to have at least three if not more (my BIL said recently he'd happily have seven or eight ) so I'm seen as a bit odd within DH's family, but with my friends most want two, with a tiny number planning on a third or more.

I have 4 last 2 were 'wonderful mistakes' but then that's me and Dhs general dippiness and too much wine.

It's a personal choice to have 1 or 10 but please don't expect everyone else to finance them.

Over half of dd2's class are from families of 3 or more, a few are step bro/sis, but most aren't. Only one single child. So no not here!

I have 4 - the first two were happy accidents, the second two were planned. Lots of families of 3 around here. Can't think of any singletons.

It does seem to vary a lot by area. I'm one of 5, when my Mum was e expecting #3, the reaction she got was mostly of the "how on earth will you cope with 3" variety. However, after moving, when expecting #4, hit was mostly "4, how wonderful".

Personally, we've decided to stop at 2, barring accidents, mostly down to age - I was 40 when I had DD2.

I'm from a family of 5 and have decided to only have 1 child , which from the background I'm from would be conceived as being very unusual !
My ds class at school has 5 only children and my. 2 close friends also have onlys so for me having 3 feels quite different , however I think you just get used to the environment your in. .

3 is definitely the norm here (rather MC rural area),it tends to be either 3or4 or just the one.

I found the opposite. Most people we knew tended to have 2 children when I was a kid. 3 was quite unusual and 4-5 stood out. Now most people I know have 2 or 3. 3 isn't unusual at all and there are many with 4 at my DC's school. I have 5 and there are a few of us with 5 and a couple with 6.

DH and I both like the idea of three, but I really don't think we could cope with another. I'm at the limit of my patience a lot of the time with two and I'm just so bloody knackered all the time I couldn't imagine going through pregnancy again and another couple of years of disturbed nights. DS2 is one tomorrow and although I've LOVED the baby stage this time and DS2 has been a lovely, easy baby I really couldn't imagine doing it again. It's sad as we'd love to try for a girl, but we're old (I'm 38, he's 42), we're tired, we're stuck in a little 2-bed house, and we're both really looking forward to having a bit more freedom again. Another child would mean more years of restriction and we're dying to be a bit selfish again!

I am one of 3. Seem to have stopped at 2 myself though despite having room and in theory could go for 3. Had very happy childhood but my sister (the third girl) still even into adulthood feels left out. It has really shaped her personality. My middle sister and I very close in age and thick as thieves our little sister that much younger so was inevitably left out. This is still an issue for her aged 34...

I see my two little girls who are a real unit and can just see that if we did have a third they would be in the same position as my younger sister and it wasn't great for her.

I the middle one of three and have three DC.

We think we might have another but money, time and a whole load of unexpected stuff life has thrown at us has made us stop.

I not sure I agree families are getting smaller - I know a large number of very large families 4 +. I seem to remember 3 DC being quite large when I grew up.

I am middle of 3 (hated being middle child). DH eldest of 3.
We have 2 DC (DS and DD) .
DS envies his singleton friends, they envy him having a sibling.
(When he's a teenager he'll be happy- he'll be adored by DDs friends-

The squeezed middle seem to have the fewest children, either end seems to have more.

I live in a rural middle class area and most families have 2 or 3 children. I have a handful of friends with 4 and a few friends with one. I don't know anyone mad enough with 5 children or more.

My 4 closest female friends all have 3 DCs. Other than that everyone I know has 2 or plans to have 2. I don't know anyone who wants more than 3, and nobody who wants an only.

DH and I appear to be the only people in our friendship group who genuinely can't decide between 2 or 3. The families with 3 always wanted 3, the families we know with 2 only want 2 and are very adamant and frank about this. DH and I just cannot decide: we adore babies and would happily have a third baby, but have found the toddler stage really really exhausting. We're mid 30s so want to get on with it really, but at the same time want our 2 (4yo and 19mo) to be a bit bigger. We just cannot decide and genuinely I have no inkling as to which way we'll go. I think part of it is that we are both one of 2, and our parents assume we are done - 2 seems to be our family norm and is nice and ordered in many ways. Yet we aren't convinced we want that, we want a bit more hubbub and hanker after a bigger brood in later life. But our heads say don't do it: Car, holidays, logistics, my career and extreme knackeredness are the key reasons not to.

2 children definitely the norm round here. 2 children is the replacement rate. 3 children is too many in these times of overpopulation. Going to get hated on for that but I shan't be back to read it, so don't bother.

Most of my friends have 3 or 4. I have 3 (one too any if I'm honest). Two is much easier and much more sensible. Not that I don't love my lovely number 3, just life would have been easier with one or two

Most of my friends have three. I have two, always knew I wanted no more and as I got one boy followed by one girl, that was enough for me.

Interesting to get everyone's perspectives. I feel that things are so very manageable with 2 for all the reasons everyone has been posting but it's my heart (not my head) wanting no 3.
Interesting to hear your POV though Joininthegang, has got me thinking v seriously.