AIBU to think that most parents seem to stop at 2 children?

[Boboli]

I'm one of 3 and it seemed quite the norm when I was growing up - my perception was lots of families of 3 children. Now I and majority of friends have 2 DCs and I'm surprised that it seems automatically accepted you've had your children when you reach 2 and that you'd be 'brave'/'mad' to go on.

We're contemplating no 3 but occasionally wonder if everyone else knows something we don't :) I know every family situation is different but have I missed something?

I have four; 16,15 (twins) and 2. It is hard work, but at least this time, I can be more relaxed with my younger child and not so stressy as when my other three were younger three children under the age of two, I must have been mad.

A lot of people do stop at two but I know plenty of people who have 3.

'The world appears to be set up for 2 adults + 2 children' How very true that is. We have 3 dc so being 5 of us in the family tips us over many times into the (much) more expensive bracket for lots things.

I am the eldest of three and would have loved a third child myself, but we are stopping at two as I am basically now too old to have another. It took us a long time to have our two because of infertility and it's just too late now. Also the cost and convenience of having two thing are a big factor.

2 is the most popular number of children to have. Next most popular is 1 child. (I think).

I have 2 children, although am one of 4 myself - reasons:

1. Money
2. Health preservation (physical and mental!), shitty pregnancies
3. Able to cope very well with 2, a third would change this for me
4. Car, house, "family" deals = usually 2+2

Having grown up in a large family (2+4) where nothing was ever set up for us and encountering some pretty expensive and serious logistical complications, I feel such relief going around in a 2+2 family where absolutely everything is set up for us.

The majority of people I know have 2 children. Plenty of people I know have one child. I know a couple with 3 and in one of those cases, baby no. 3 was rather a surprise! In fact, thinking about it, in DS's class, every child has either one sibling or no siblings unless you include half and step siblings in which case there are a few more.

I think 2 has always been seen as an ideal number by the majority. I was one of 3 as were most of my friends but nearly all the parents admitted the final one had been an 'accident' . I guess there are more options for contraception now!

I like the idea of two so they have a sibling but we aren't outnumbered by children!

Plus another rule someone once told me:

You have 2 hands to deal with 2 children. (or 1).

Other people say having 2 children is just replacing yourselves.

When I was with DC3 and two of his friends recently who are also DC3s, I said "put up your hand if you're wearing something that used to belong to your brother?" All three hands shot up and they proudly explained who things belonged had to. There are some areas where it doesn't have to be so expensive!

angryfeet- that's so true. I was one of 4 and my mum said that we thought that since we heavily outnumbered her or her and my dad, we were in charge .

I've got one which is more than enough for me (DH would have liked 3 or 4 more). My sister OTOH, has eight.
Horses for courses.

Where I live (pretty affluent middle class area) I am absolutely surrounded by 3 and 4 child families. I would say they outnumber the 1 or 2 child families by quite a margin.

That isnt true here. Me and DH are 27 and 28 and only have 2 and we are behind lots of people our age. We want another but we are lucky as we can space it out more.

I would love three children but I just can't 'do' another baby.

Tbh, most people I know have or are planning on having 3.

We have 2 and will be stopping there for a variety of reasons. If I was younger and we had more funds I would love to have another. However, I'm not and we don't so 2 will be it for us.

I do think that there is a fashion for having 3 children atm.

Same reasons here as most I suspect. We live in a tiny house which is already a bit squeezed for two. Car fits two and I feel I'm too old (and unfit) now at 40 to have a third. My brother has three.

ffs, was just trying to delete that post because it looks so bloody weak and then I posted it by accident.

fwiw, both my little ones fell at the extreme end of the colic spectrum and I just about lost my mind with all the screaming and the way it makes you feel like you are failing before you've got going.

Plus, my littlest, who is 3 this month, has only started to sleep through.

I have suggested a job share with a friend who adores the baby stage (although I think one of my offspring might challenge that)

Apparently Swedes and the French have more children, so if you buy a Swedish or French car it's more likely to fit more children's car seats in. We have a Peugeot which could fit in three seats in the back when we needed them.

you can fit three car seats across the back of some smaller cars and most larger ones (my little Honda Jazz is ok with it) but car is probably less of a deciding factor than house...

it is more that people are having kids later in life, and have a higher expectation of what they ought to be providing to each child as well (own room being more viewed as a necessity than it used to be)

the average number of kids is 1.9 IIRC so yes just under two.

what other people are doing shouldn't be your decision made though!

I have 3 and I know a lot of other families with 3 children; it seems to be a popular number around here!

I have 4 dcs whereas everyone i know bar a few have 2-3 children, 3 being the average in my area.
I get told im mad as i have four girls, i get asked all the time why four?
Drives me nuts, if i had the money & the space which some day i will i would like to have atleast two more children to complete my family.
I have always wanted a large family but i know the sort of comments im going to get when i do decide to have more but il just ignore & do as i like.
Im happy to have four of the same sex thery are my princesses and id be happy if i had two more princesses

I don't know many women who have had more than two children, but I know quite a lot of families that have more than two children IYSWIM - ie children from first and second marriages living together as a family adding up to at least 4 children, although some are grown up of course. That was very rare when I was growing up (am very old!).

I have 1, would love another few but am pushing my luck age-wise.

Also, I would quite like to avoid the pregnancy/birth stuff, so if they could just turn up on the doorstep that would be fine with me . Oh, and they must be good sleepers as DS 18mo hates sleep and has only slept through 3 times so far.

I was 1 of 4 and I loved it. DP is an only child and he also loved it he was spoiled though

Like Sugarice, ds3was our oh shit moment little surprise. People constantly asked if we were trying for a girl but got another boy instead! How rude

We don't regret having 3 ds's for one moment despite the fact it can be like a war zone/feeding time at the zoo at times. We did need a bigger car and holidays a bit more expensive as hotels rarely have rooms for 5 and would need 3 bed apartments.

My washing machine deserves a medal and now they are all teenagers they empty the fridge and food cupboards on a daily basis