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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to be a Godmother

53 replies

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:15

Dh and I are practicing Christians. We attend a Baptist church so our children have not been christened but simply dedicated. Therefore we have not acquired godparents for them. (This may be part of the problem?) We attend church every week and are generally reasonably sane and pleasant people I think.

Nobody has ever asked either of us to be a godparent to their child and I am desperate to acquire a godchild or two. I think it would be so lovely and nobody has asked me! How can I advertise my willingness? I get so jealous when I read Christening threads on here. I want to buy lovely gifts and be spritually available and supportive. Some people have tons of godchildren. Princess Diana had 17! Why have I got none?

Is there anybody else out there who is godchildless?

OP posts:

itsatiggerday · 08/05/2012 17:17

our DCs were dedicated and we have godparents for them (technically called something else but we call them godparents). I get on the christening threads here, we asked the godparents to pray for them and get to know them as they grow up. Presents neither here nor there. I'd have asked you if I knew you!

belgo · 08/05/2012 17:18

It's a bit like never being a bridesmaid!

Do all of your friends have children? I never had any godchildren, but suddenly I had two within the same year. The more children people have, they run out of options and they might ask you as a last resort? That's what happened to me!

thebody · 08/05/2012 17:20

Ours arnt christened as we arnt religious and it seemed hypocritical but for the record u sound lovely and sure u will be asked soon.

DaenerysTargaryen · 08/05/2012 17:22

I have 4, do you want one of mine?

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/05/2012 17:22

I'm a rabid Atheist and I have a Godchild

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:22

I've only been a bridesmaid once

Yes, now a lot of our friends do have children but I suppose a lot of the people we know through church are having dedications not christenings and so generally don't ask godparents. I had high hopes for one baby that's cooking at the moment but the father is RC so I guess that rules us out That's a good point about people running out of options. We have three dcs but were a decade ahead of our contemporaries so a lot of them are still expanding their families.......maybe there is hope!

OP posts:

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:23

xposts with MrsTerryPratchett and even more!

OP posts:

Debsbear · 08/05/2012 17:25

I wasn't asked even though my husband was! I told him that if he agreed (he's an atheist btw) he would have the responsibility of doing all the Godfather(y) things by himself. He did and finally introduced himself to his godson at a wedding recently (his godson is now 16!).
I feel sorry for you OP, but also a little confused as you didn't have any godparents for your own children. Would this not seem a little hypocritical to you?

DaenerysTargaryen · 08/05/2012 17:25

You can have all of mine actually (bearing in mind they all have siblings and it's mean to leave them out at Christmas, Easter etc) its an expensive business being a godmother!

squoosh · 08/05/2012 17:27

Tis an expensive business alright

QuintessentialShadows · 08/05/2012 17:29

I have never been a bridesmaid!

But I have two godchildren. Two girls, one is 17, the other 2 months. The older has the same middle name as the baby.

Sorry.

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 08/05/2012 17:30

I've never been asked either (well actually I am sils Godmother, but mil told me I was only asked so I wouldn't 'get upset' ) but then most of my friends are totally unreligious so what do I expect! It does 'hurt' though IYSWIM, as we asked people we love and tust, and IMO asking them to be Godparents was a way of showing them how important they are to us. I guess what I mean is that I wish someone thought that much of me!

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:31

No debs I have no problem with it. I attend the Baptist church as that's where both dh and I are comfortable and so I have respected the traditions in that church - which is that baptism is an adult decision. However personally I was bought up C of E and christened and confirmed and I don't differentiate between teh decision I made as a teenager to be confirmed and the decision the young adults in our current church may make to be baptised. In the same way I don't differentiate between the promises we made when dedicating our dcs and the promises we would make if christening them. I do wonder if that's not clear to our friends though. All they have to do is ask

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadows · 08/05/2012 17:32

I think godparents need to be chosen from the same Church as the child is baptized in.

QuintessentialShadows · 08/05/2012 17:33

Not building, naturally, but congregation. If you are Catholic, you must have at least ONE Catholic godparent.

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:35

Ah so we could get in with our catholic friend as long as they also ask a catholic? Ok - may have to drop a hint or 5000 I don't think the C of E has that rule do they? And if they do I'm sure I still qualify! I'm going to get a t-shirt made for doing new baby visits 'Yes I AM Godmother material'

OP posts:

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 08/05/2012 17:37

My dc haven't been christened because I don't have anyone to be godparents

bronze · 08/05/2012 17:37

You should have befriended me a couple of years back. Was trying to work out who to have for dc4 when we had already divided everyone between the other three.

Ive never been a bridesmaid either but am godmother to my two gorgeous nephews.

IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 08/05/2012 17:37

Don't give up on the potential Catholic baptism - we recently had dd2 baptised Catholic and she had one Catholic, two Anglican and one Muslim godparent!

bronze · 08/05/2012 17:38

Hatejeans maybe you should get know NL then

elliejjtiny · 08/05/2012 17:40

I am godchildless as well and baptist. My dc's are godparentless as well as my dh thinks having godparents is "c of e rubbish". They all had dedications though.

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:43

I was joking about the t-shirt btw

I'll just get a badge

I'm taking heart that there are obviously some of you out there looking. But then with some people doing a Diana and bagging tons of kids what hope is there?

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 08/05/2012 17:44

We deliberately chose childless people to be our 'significant adults' (non-religious) because we intended them to be DS guardians too. Of course, nothing to stop them going on to have DCs of their own (we didn't write a contract or anything ) but in our situation I wouldn't have chosen someone who already had 3 DCs of their own. Sorry OP!

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:45

OP posts:

squoosh · 08/05/2012 17:47

Elton John has something like 257 godchildren. The parents of those kids ain't no fools. Lavish pressies galore no doubt.

I've only got two and that's plenty.

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