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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to be a Godmother

53 replies

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:15

Dh and I are practicing Christians. We attend a Baptist church so our children have not been christened but simply dedicated. Therefore we have not acquired godparents for them. (This may be part of the problem?) We attend church every week and are generally reasonably sane and pleasant people I think.

Nobody has ever asked either of us to be a godparent to their child and I am desperate to acquire a godchild or two. I think it would be so lovely and nobody has asked me! How can I advertise my willingness? I get so jealous when I read Christening threads on here. I want to buy lovely gifts and be spritually available and supportive. Some people have tons of godchildren. Princess Diana had 17! Why have I got none?

Is there anybody else out there who is godchildless?

OP posts:

Jinsei · 08/05/2012 17:48

I have a godchild - she is a fairly new acquisition. I was very touched and flattered to be asked.

I am not religious at all (agnostic rather than atheist) and told the parents this when they invited me to be their dd's godmother. However, they aren't really religious either, and use the term loosely to describe nominated adults who take a special interest in their kids. That is, all the support & nurturing but none of the religious aspects.

My own dd doesn't have any godparents as the whole tradition was rather alien to me, but with retrospect, I wish I had asked a couple of close friends to act in this capacity.

DaenerysTargaryen · 08/05/2012 17:48

I told you you could have one.

I've started you off with an easy one, she only has one sibling

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2012 17:51

Pretend you've won the lottery OP and then watch the requests roll in

Rindercella · 08/05/2012 17:55

Cantdoupmyjeans sounds a match made in Heaven for you and your DH NL

However, from everything I have heard/read from you, I really don't think you need anything so formal as being a Godparent - I reckon you are a pretty amazing aunt and friend to lots of parents of young children I do realise I sound like a total brown noser here, but tis the truth I tell you!

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 17:55

Daenerys your godchild seems rather sticky. Can I have a less adhesive one please?

So basically I am too religous and too maternal to be a GODMOTHER? I give up!

OP posts:

eurochick · 08/05/2012 17:55

I don't have any. I would have to turn it down if asked too, as I am atheist. My best friend would have liked me to be but her husband is catholic and they could only have catholic godparents (which was fine as I would have hated turning her down).

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 18:00

x posted with Rindercella - ah bless you! Am all now.

OP posts:

DaenerysTargaryen · 08/05/2012 18:01

Well she's only just turned one, I gave you the youngest so as you could get the most out of her.

My oldest is 9, I suppose you could have her I'm sure she'll be a lovely teenager in a few years

MadameChinLegs · 08/05/2012 18:04

My DMuma and DDad are godparents to a zillion kids. It borders on the ridiculous. They are godparents to christian kids, catholic kids and those who do it just for the party.

They are both atheists.

They were chosen, I believe, due to the parents of their god-children seeing their natural ability with kids and the pleasure they took in being around kids.

Not that Im suggesting that this is why you haven't been asked, but just to give the view that it isn't always down to religion.

buggyRunner · 08/05/2012 18:06

I got dd1 christened in an evangelist church I used to attend (have moved and always go to most local) and her god parents are:
My lesbian aunt - not religious
My dp's best mate- c of e ish plays organ when they need him but doesn't go church apart from that
My best mate- v religious and church going salvation army

I wanted moral and religious Influences (plus my aunt always said how sad she was nobody ever made her a god parent)

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 18:07

Oh ok give her back then!

I'm being greedy really - I do have my relationship as 'aunt' to my best friend's beautiful daughter and she (my friend) perfectly fills the godmother role for our dcs too. Just no hats involved. Which may not be a bad thing.......

OP posts:

belgo · 08/05/2012 18:12

Northernlurker you don't need to be the same denomination as the child to be asked as godparent. I am RC and godparent to a C0fE child.

Fuchzia · 08/05/2012 18:17

Interesting thread! I want to get my two christened but know almost no one even vaguely religious so have the opposite problem. Im CofE but have a couple of good catholic friends, if that's allowed great!

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 08/05/2012 18:25

squoosh Elgon John? Hmm wonder if he wants two more........

MadameChinLegs · 08/05/2012 18:28

Fuchzia, I think you can have non-religious GPs in a CofE church, you just ask the vicar beforehand and he amends what he asks them to say. More like promises.

lucertola28 · 08/05/2012 18:34

I'm a fairy godmother because my brother and sil aren't religious, I got a sparkly wand and everything! They had a welcome to the world party instead of christening type party.

The point is you can have someone as a special person for your children, so if your religion doesn't have godparents and your friends religions don't you can still have someone in that kind of role without the offical title.

lurkerspeaks · 08/05/2012 18:54

I'm an ungodlymother. It was a CofE ceremony which I took no part in. However the vicar did refer to me as another significant adult who had been named to help baby make his way in the world.

It was nice.

I have now been named (in the event of a disaster) as his legal guardian. However was tremendously relieved to discover his parents wouldn't want him to live with me but for me to mediate between their families (think Conservative with a capital C and Liberal with a capital L) as there will be friction!

LittlePicnic · 08/05/2012 20:46

I have never been a godparent or bridesmaid. Maybe one day....

treadonthecracks · 08/05/2012 20:54

I have 5 god children.

I have a tip for you:

For the forth one, the mum was on drugs when she asked me! She'd just had a c section and I was at her house looking after her DC1, she was so grateful she asked me to be godmum! I wasn't going to hold her to it but I godmum now and do the best I can to look after them all.

hopenglory · 08/05/2012 21:02

Never been a bridesmaid, don't have any god children. Shame, I'd be really good at it

mummymeister · 08/05/2012 21:07

My 3 children have been baptised and have 4 godparents each. i come from a large family and my parents have grandchildren and great grand children. i also have friends with children too. i have never been asked and dont ever expect to be so i do just try and stay as involved in as many of the childrens lives as i can in loco god parentis!!

Plaguegroups · 08/05/2012 21:09

I'm keeping my fingers crossed because my friend was asking if I'd been christened the other day (I was but am not religious), I know I would be a slightly ungodly parent but I'd still love to be that special person in a child's life.

And I've been a bridesmaid 3 times!

Original poster

Northernlurker · 08/05/2012 21:27

OP posts:

SodoffBaldrick · 08/05/2012 21:34

I don't think people look around their congregation and see who might be suitable and appoint on that basis...

They ask good friends, often regardless of their good spiritual guidance traits, per se. I'm not saying these traits are irrelevant, but that they're not always top of the priority list.

I am a heathen and although I was Christened, I didn't have Godparents and didn't grow up going to Church. DH, however, is Catholic and the DCs have been Christened and have Godparents. I asked DH to explain it all to me and the over-riding thing for him was as a nice way of cementing bonds between people who are important to us and our children. And most of his good friends (the bulk of whom are also Irish Catholic) see it this way too.

My best friend is DC1's Godmother and his best friend is DC1's Godfather. Our mutual best friend (a couple) are DC2's Godparents. We chose based on our relationship with our friends. :)

skateboarder · 08/05/2012 22:32

2 of my dc have the same godparents. The third has an extra one as the lady in question became an important person in my religious life.
Ironically, this lady is a large influence in all my dc lives.
So op, you may fit the bill and get more than one at once!!

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