Would you be irked if a friend's child deliberately cut up one of the letters in your DC's copy of the Jolly Postman?

[DowagersHump]

I am a bit. I should get over myself shouldn't I?

Probably. Other peoples' kids never fail to disappoint in my experience.

Irked? I would be furious. I take books very seriously, and this is one of the best.

How old is said child?

I would be very cross. And if it were my child that did it, I would replace the book and be very cross with my child.

Er, yes I would!

I would be furious. Spoiling books is right up there ^^ in the list of crimes children commit, for me.

Partly why I bought the Jolly Postman but didn't let them near it until the youngest was 3

I am actually quite cross about it. Child is 6 next month so old enough to know better. Our copy was in pristine condition and my friend offered to send me the letter from their copy of the book but 'it's a bit torn and it's sellotaped together so not sure it would be any better' so I turned that down.

I would have appreciated an offer to buy a replacement copy.

Yes I'd be irked. Sadly I've learned from experience that many children are not taught respect for other people's property and so tend to put many things away when having friends round. If my child had done this to someone else's book I would replace it and if my child was old enough to understand then woud use their pocket money or whatever to do so. However, I think you need to accept that it's happened and learn to keep certain things away from certain children. (and pinch a replacement out of the library copy!) (joke! before i get bashed!!)

Yes I should have put it away before they came. I will next time!

You need to speak to your friend again and ask her to replace the book. If she's any decency she'll do it immediately, and if she delays or refuses, you know the friendship is over.

I'd be furious, especially with a nearly 6 year old. Different with a toddler but a child of 6 really ought to know better.

Things like this happened several times. It really saddened me, but I'm too much of a wuss to approach the parents.

There were kids I wouldn't allow in to play because they always broke something.

I certainly hope ds never deliberately damaged things at other people's homes; I don't imagine he did but never say never and all that.

6?? No YANBU, I bet you have to put a lot away, hidden when they come around?

I won't ask her to replace it because I'm a bit of a wuss although I'm cross she didn't offer. I'm annoyed with myself as much as anything for not putting it away (I forgot to check the bookcase for 'precious' things although I did put loads of stuff away).

She has got some behavioural/emotional issues so I'm not really cross with her so much as with my friend for not offering to buy a replacement.

I think these things can happen with kids, alas. Even though at 6 they should know books are precious.

It would be the reaction of the mum which would get to me though - kids don't always have the same rules so not fair to blame them. I'd expect an offer to buy a new one, which you coudl graciously decline if you wanted. That's what I would do / have done when my kids have broken or spoilt something belonging to a friend.

There is usually a consequence involved for my own child when we get home, but that's a different matter.

Kids do stupid stuff for no apparent reason, and some kids despite their parents best efforts do this a lot.

Even 6 yr olds. even 10 yr olds. They make bizarre decisions that they can't always explain, and which they need chastising about in the hope that they'll gradually be making on the whole rationale choices by the age of 18yrs.

If you chose to hang around with other peoples kids something annoying, stupid or destructive will happen. It just does.

Id be a bit disappointed that our book was spoilt, but accept this stuff happens.

I've had various things broken when kids come over, as long as parents are suitably apologetic, the kid is suitably chastised, I shrug and think 'it's only stuff'.

Annoying but one of these things.

Ah yes I think you do need to get over yourself. Having strong attachments to material objects will always lead to grief when said object is damaged/lost, yet these are things that will often happen to objects. It's really not at all important is it?

And it's a book, a childrens book - so the danger of it getting damaged have got to be high.

This is what sellotape is for. Or accept the copy from your friend to replace it. And move on.

I very much doubt that your children's enjoyment of the book will be reduced now it's not 'perfect'. I really think you should let this go.

(P.S. the book looks lovely - I've now "wish listed" it on amazon)

Id be pissed.

Send the child home with a haircut

:o Fleur

Funnily enough my friend was telling me that her child and a friend had cut one another's fringes at school the other day - she went and complained about it!

Fleur

I see where you're coming from, but the problem here surely isn't about an unreasonable attachment to material things, it's about respect for other people's belongings.

It's sad that some children aren't taught from a young age that books are special and important and must be taken care of. As well as just not ruining other peoples posessions.

I would be raging on the inside and stiffly polite about it on the outside. Six years old is way, way too old to be doing that kind of thing. If I was the parent of that child I would buy you a new copy and cut him out of my will make the child apologise.

I think yab a bit u.

Yes, I would be irritated. But dc do make completely batty decisions when they are excited and playing.
My DD took all the silk cushions off my sofas down the garden to make a den when she had friends over aged about 8. Her friends have broken things and mostly they are nice well behaved children.
I tend to the view that if it is a generally well behaved choked and I like her and her mother then inviting them into my home means accepting that, like me and my DD, they are not perfect.

I would offer to replace and if my friend offered I would probably say no.

At that age I think it is swings and roundabouts. They are playing. I would let it go unless it was regular or malicious.

I think it's important to look after stuff, be that your own or other people's. Toys and books seem so disposable to some people. I don't like wastefulness.

(Although having said that it's true that the book hasn't been completely ruined, just a bit spoilt).

I'd be furious too.

You don't damage books.

you don't damage anything deliberately that belongs to someone else. You must make the parent buy another one.