Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Well, Who Does...!!!????

32 replies

Bathsheba · 08/05/2012 10:59

Over the years I've seen a few things and I always want to shout "Its not really a special case - no-one likes doing that but we just have to do it..."

"I would do xyz but I can't because I don't like confrontation"....What...you really think that everyone else actively revels in confrontation and you are some sort of a special case who gets away without confronting people...! In my mind. NOBODY likes confrontation but sometimes things have to be done..

"..but as an emetaphobe I can't deal with people being sick"...Look, no-one LOVES people being sick....everyone hates vomit. You aren't a special case in disliking it...but again, it happens and coping has to be done...

"...I tend not to go into new groups because I get shy around need people"....Thats basic human nature..!! Look back to the cavemen - you had to be wary going into a new tribe and be wary of people coming into your tribe...itsw normal....but it jolly well has to be done on a lot of occassions., toughen up Buttercup

Everyone is pretty much "like you" as far as likes, dislikes and stress issues....but that doesn't mean you can back out of things because they are a bit tough.

I'm a complete cow aren't I...

OP posts:
YonWhaleFish · 08/05/2012 11:00

YABU as you aren't allowing for genuine phobias, and MH issues etc etc.

YonWhaleFish · 08/05/2012 11:00

I do understand where you are coming from if your complaint is regarding NT folks.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 08/05/2012 11:01

Yes, sounds like you are!

squeakytoy · 08/05/2012 11:01

National Trust?

Birdsgottafly · 08/05/2012 11:02

Yes you are, we all have diferent skills, tolerance levels etc and that is why in any working environment you put your team together carefully.

It is also why multi-professional working, works so well.

YonWhaleFish · 08/05/2012 11:02

squeakytoy Neuro Typical HTH

Notalone · 08/05/2012 11:07

Yes you are a complete cow and extremely uninformed and judgemental to boot.

I am an emetephobe and believe me love, it is no walk in the park and certainly not me turning my nose up because it is a little bit icky. It is a genuine fear and actually can take over my whole life if DS has a bug. I am completely and totally terrifed of being sick (for very good reasons which I will not go into on here). You have no comprehension at all,

Oh, and as someone who works in mental health I would say social phobia is also very very real. Its not a choice - some people are literally incapable of socialising. Its certainly not a matter of "toughening up" as you so elequently put it.

Go and take your judgey pants elsewhere. In fact it might be a good idea to go away and get a decent understanding of MH issues and phobias before you post in such a stupid derogatory way

PetiteRaleuse · 08/05/2012 11:09

I know plenty of people who actively enjoy confrontation.

You have obviously never met someone with a real vomiting phobia. I have a friend who won't get pregnant despite wanting a child as she is that frightened of morning sickness.

And no, not all people are shy. Some people love meeting new people.

YABU and appear to live in a closed little bubble.

I'm sure you're not a cow though.

addictediam · 08/05/2012 11:12

I'm also going to be shot down, but yanbu! The majority of people just get on with it.

CrunchyFrog · 08/05/2012 11:12

YAB a bit U.

The vomit thing - I've worked in care for over 20 years, there is no bodily fluid that holds fear for me. I don't it, I'm not weird Wink , but I don't turn a hair at e.g. being puked over/ pooey bums etc. I know other people really struggle. Similarly, I have no issue with blood, but realise other people genuinely can't cope with it.

OTOH, I am terrified of fish, especially dead ones. I shudder walking past the fish counter in the supermarket, and my poor children are deprived of fish in their diet other than in the form of fingers. Some people might find this unreasonable.

Oh, and I love groups and doing new things - I don't think that's unusual, is it?

MrsMangoBiscuit · 08/05/2012 11:13

You are not a cow, I like cows. YABVVU though.

EldritchCleavage · 08/05/2012 11:14

Well, I think you are being harsh to exclude genuine phobias, but I tend to agree with you on the confrontation one.

In my experience, often people who say this are looking for someone else to sort things out for them so they don't ever have to be the bad guy or risk bad feeling. That is incredibly tiresome. And it can be very wearing to have to listen to someone who won't ever have a confrontation, however much it is merited, complaining about the same issue over and over again.

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2012 11:19

If we lived in a world full of robots, your OP would make perfect sense.

But since we don't, and people have different personalities and traits

It makes no sense whatsoever.

Have one of these for your trouble though Biscuit

And if you don't like biscuits, just eat it. Or do you think you're the only person in the world who doesn't like them?

DeWe · 08/05/2012 11:19

There are people who love confrontation. Nothing my dad likes more than a good arguement. He's even been known to switch sides if you decided to agree with him to keep the peace...

TheUnMember · 08/05/2012 11:22

but it jolly well has to be done on a lot of occassions., toughen up Buttercup

News flash: Bathsheba finds a cure for autism

manicbmc · 08/05/2012 11:23

True emetophobia can take over every aspect of your life. It is not nice.

However, I can see the OP's point. Some people will use these things as a excuse when they aren't (for instance) actually emetophobic.

It's like people who say they have the flu, when they actually have a bit of a cold - now that really pisses me off.

TroublesomeEx · 08/05/2012 11:24

Wow!

I take it you don't work in one of the 'caring' professions then!

Tee2072 · 08/05/2012 11:29

Ever hear of agoraphobia? No? Then live my life for 10 minutes and you'll know what it is.

FoofyShmooffer · 08/05/2012 11:30

C'mon Bathsheba, you naughty little sausage. Fess up.

Were you just in the mood for "one of them" threads?

sixlostmonkeys · 08/05/2012 11:32

Some people love ...crave confrontation, so you are wrong on that one. Fear of vomit etc, is an actual fear and even if it's a case of you prefer to not be near a sick person, then so be it, it's not always essential. Choosing to not go to a new group of people is choice. If a person likes things as they are and don't want to make more friends, be part of a knitting group or have a job that requires team work.... or whatever, so be it. It doesn't HAVE to be done.

Odd opinions imo. yabu

manicbmc · 08/05/2012 11:35

I don't really think the OP means those people with genuine problems - I think she means those who don't have mental health problems or phobias but who will use all manner of excuses to get out of a situation or get someone else to deal with it.

Original poster
Bathsheba · 08/05/2012 11:40

Hi everyone - you are all right - I shouldn't have posted...

We have had a very close family bereavement over the weekend and now my world has filled up with (perfectly NT adults) who "don't like dealing with hospitals", get "upset clearing out personal items", who "don't like funerals" as if the rest of us are positively revelling in these things.

The emetaphobe example is from a few years ago when someone (who loved a label for everything) decided her 8 year old son was "an emetaphoibe" as if all other 8 year olds just loved vomit...

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 08/05/2012 11:41

Of course YABU and you know it.

TroublesomeEx · 08/05/2012 11:44

Smile probably not.

Sorry to hear about your shit weekend.

manicbmc · 08/05/2012 11:44

Really sorry to hear that. I totally understand what you mean.

Swipe left for the next trending thread