Is it unreasonable for a parent to ask their child to shut up?

[lostboysfallin]

4.5
Not being naughty
Singing, dancing, chat chat chat

sounds like they are just being a normal child to me!

shut up is a bit harsh - "be quiet" is a nicer phrase, although I did say to DS (9yo) the other day to "please just SHUT up!" as I'd asked and asked to stop / be quiet etc and he was still talking

Not ask them directly, but actually insist and expect them to be quiet

Asking them to be quiet, telling them to be quiet, sending them into the garden to be noisy, yes.
Using the words 'Shut up', no.
Would you want a teacher to say that in a class of noisy EY?

'but actually insist and expect them to be quiet'

What is the consequences for them if they ignore you?
Do they know?

Start gently: "Please could you be a little calmer and quieter, Horrenda darling".

Escalate to "Please be quiet" and "Be Quiet!" to "Shut up!", and if necessary "Why the hell didn't you come with a volume control you hideous beast!"

What are reasonable consequences? Go to your room? No tv, no treats?
What's reasonable
Dc is naturally loud, excitable and a bit boisterous, but within normal limits
Doesn't seem to be able to whisper either

What others have said - the words "shut up" are too harsh but asking / telling to be quiet is fine

i think it is better to say something positive ('why don't you go and do X dear'), or 'be quiet'

but i have yelled shut up at my daughter at times. sometimes she drives me up the wall! (Mummy! What you doing??!! WHAT YOU DOING!!!? WHY???!!WHY YOU NOT LISTENING TO MEEE!..NAUGHTY MUMMY!!!!)

although if she goes too far with that then i don't think 'go to your room and calm down' is all that over the top.

I hope not. I have one who starts talking the moment he wakes up in the morning and doesn't stop until he goes to bed.

Regardless of who else is trying to get a word in, he goes on and on and on and on and on and on and did you know this fact about Pokemon mum? and Mum? and MUM? - I'm telling you about Pokemon.

I tell him to shut up occasionally when it gets too much, doesn't make any difference.

I say shut up a lot.

I also say, a lot "I'm sitting right next to you, there is no need to yell at me."

And my favourite one is where I yell at him "STOP SHOUTING" and then realise that I am being ridiculous.

I think it's unreasonable to tell anyone to "shut up" if you use those words (which you didn't )

But it isn't unreasonable to say something like "honey, keep it down a bit or go and play in your room." or something along those lines.

I try to think to myself would I say this, worded this way, to my husband/doctor/someone in the supermarket. If the answer is no, then I try to not say it to the children.

Note the repeated use of the word 'try'

I frequently request that my DD ceases her inane, endless babbling,

I have many phrases, and mostly they are said with humour and affection, and I let her know that sometimes I need to be able to hear my own thoughts.

I wouldn't 'punish' for endless chatter but time apart can sometimes be beneficial as I am by nature fairly quiet by nature...

Earplugs.

Our DS was exhausting. He talked and asked questions from the minute he woke to minute he closed his eyes and that was from about 6am until 10pm on a good day. I can remember my mouth aching. I didn't tell him to shut up but we used to have "hushment time" at about 3pm when Peggy Patch cam on TV.

He's 17 now and wants in depth debates about politics, drugs, the rights of the police, religion, etc.. He's still exhausting but his father is better at this stage than he was the first five years. Occasionally now when he's telling me about the pros of legalising cannabis, I do tell him to shut up.

I do that Hecate, imagine their is someone I admire near by and how I would feel if they heard me saying something that wasn't appropriate.

I find I use shush...which he then says back to me. So that's working well then, yeah?

I say shut up a lot to my daughter. she's hideously high pitched and has begun using screaming to get her own way. i feel guilty though and am trying to move onto nicer phrases. i do wish she would shut up when she wails moanily though - and then the words seem to fall from my mouth...

Yup.

As long as you don't do it in the style of someone form TOWIE or hiss it like Ray Winstone menacingly.

YABU unless you want the exact same phrase spouted at you endlessly for the next 5 years

bringback, I favour both those styles.

I don't know about 'Unreasonable' . It's not ideal but sometimes I suspect all parents get pushed to the end of their tether, and phrase things in ways that they would like to think they never will.

I'd probably not use "shut up" but I do recall years of inviting a little quiet. If diversion wasn't appropriate or effective then yes, I'd ask the dcs to give my ears a rest. They might as well learn that they need to moderate things occasionally since nobody can cope with hours and hours of inane, intrusive noise.