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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I'm going mad??!?!

55 replies

Weathermerrier · 05/05/2012 19:29

Any other stay at home mums feel like just screaming ahhhhhhhh half the time. I swear I'm actually going insane. The house is a mess, the kids run rings around me, the pile of washing in the kitchen is bigger than everest and my bloody puppy is having its first period and is bleeding everywhere!!!!
And my DH works 6 days a week and is the least understanding person to have graced the earth!!!
Give me some sanity guys. That doesn't involve 'getting out of the house' coz that's far far more stressful.

OP posts:

GateGipsy · 06/05/2012 09:42

also wanted to say, don't worry, YOU are still there! This won't last forever, it will all go by really quickly, and when you're through this the 'me' you thought you lost will still be there waiting.

lucyellensmumnamechange · 06/05/2012 09:42

53118 was only trying to be helpful. I would assume you do have a garden, or access to the park? Why NOT go outside? I can do about a day indoors but after that i would go slowly out of my mind.

I do understand though, it sounds like your DH isn't the most helpful of chaps though - do you do something together as a family on sundays?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 06/05/2012 09:49

The puppy may be happier being spayed rather than spade .

ballstoit · 06/05/2012 09:50

I feel like this at some point most days, although as DC3 will start part time school in September I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel (is it wrong to be counting down the days already ?)

I do generally find that getting out of the house makes me feel better, but some days, especially when it's pissing it down for the 28th day running, I just can't be arsed. At which point, I stick them all in the bath and decide which of the hundreds of tasks that need doing I should prioritise today.

Would having one room (or one corner of one room on a really bad day) clean and tidy make you feel better? Or doing 2 loads of washing? Cleaning the bathroom? Just choose one thing to do today, do it now, then congratulate yourself on doing it. Do your DC sleep ok? I find that promising myself a bath, chapter of book or evening of shite TV helps at this time of the morning when the whole day is stretching before me.

Also, tbh, I have finally realised (after 7 loong years), that I can either have a tidy house, or happy children. Some people may be able to manage both, i can't.

BartletForAmerica · 06/05/2012 09:52

"btw dictating advice like this thats extremely obvious and condescending is really horrible to read."

Sounds like you need some advice that is a bit obvious if things are as chaotic as they sound! I really notice a difference in us all if we've got out so now make sure that we spend some time outside twice a day, even if it is just for 15 minutes each time.

"also.. pouring rain? good for children?"

You are not made of sugar so you are not going to melt! Yes, get dressed up in your waterproofs and wellies and go out! They can run around and splash in puddles, then all come home for a nice hot drink.

TheMonster · 06/05/2012 09:54

YOu can get a dog done at 6 months btw. They do not need to have had their first season.

I couldn't cope with being a SAHM and I only have one child. I couldn't wait to go back to work (and I'm a teacher, but 30 teenagers is preferable to one toddler imo!). Mind you, the house is still a mess...

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 06/05/2012 09:55

Eyeore it is very bad for them and arrests their development though.

TheMonster · 06/05/2012 09:59

Does it? I've only ever male puppies because I didn't want the problems of the mess. I guess neutering is a bigger deal for a bitch.

diddl · 06/05/2012 10:01

Like the idea of the ten, ten, loaf.

Although for me I think it´s the loaf, loaf, ten

LtEveDallas · 06/05/2012 10:01

TheHouse. No it isn't and no it doesn't. Myths like that are why this country is bursting at the seams with unwanted litters.

There are possible dangers to ALL spaying procedures. At ALL ages. Even the possibility of bitches becoming incontinent as older adults is being contested.

OP as soon as this season is over please get your bitch spayed.

vincettenoir · 06/05/2012 10:42

I don't think the posters who are advising to go out are being patronising. A bit of daylight and exercise is essential and makes people happier. That's just science. Going for a run is the thing that makes me feel better if things are getting on top of me. I know that's not practical in this situation but a walk round the park could achieve the same effect. If you don't want to go out today that's one thing. But ruling it out in general is not a good way to go.

corlan · 06/05/2012 10:48

Get a job and stop moaning?

imnotmymum · 06/05/2012 10:49

corlan we can track you down ! I hope you were joking

lucyellensmumnamechange · 06/05/2012 10:53

corlan, the OP has four children!!!

imnotmymum · 06/05/2012 11:03

anyhow through a job into the equation and really would go bonkers

zeeboo · 06/05/2012 11:23

And people that have 4 children shouldn't have a job? Do I resign or sell one of the kids??

lucyellensmumnamechange · 06/05/2012 11:25

either or zeeboo - of course people with four children can and should have work! But its not rocket science that many people with four children could not afford the childcare etc unless they can get very well paid work and/or family support with childcare

Original poster

Weathermerrier · 06/05/2012 18:04

artletForAmerica Sun 06-May-12 09:52:29
"btw dictating advice like this thats extremely obvious and condescending is really horrible to read."

"also.. pouring rain? good for children?"

tried it, DD moaned she was cold, and has asthma so was coughing her guts up after 5 minutes.
you know what i won't bother coz this is just making feel like a shite mum

OP posts:

Original poster

Weathermerrier · 06/05/2012 18:07

you know i didn't say, 'yes i just stay in the house all day, don't play with my children and deprive them of sunlight'

and I'm not on my high horse. mums are constantly critical of each other and compete and everyone knows it. and its really really horrible

this is kinda making me wanna cry

OP posts:

Sirzy · 06/05/2012 19:12

You are on your high horse. People have been genuinely trying to help you but you seem to be taking everything as a criticism unfortunatly. Nobody is trying to make you feel like a shite mum.

Penguinface · 06/05/2012 21:20

Weathermerrier, don't cry. There is good advice on here. Starting with the obvious is just making sure nothing obvious gets missed. I bet your a really great mum

ballstoit · 06/05/2012 22:09

Hope your day got better weathermerrier...or if not, hope you're enjoying a large glass of wine

MrsMuddyPuddles · 07/05/2012 05:27

What were you looking for, then, when you said "give me some sanity"?

The first paragraph in your OP sounds like flylady's "before" description but if you felt "dictated at" by this thread ... you really don't want to go see her website! Maybe try the babysteps thread in good houskeeping here, that's loosely based on flylady... or search / skim that board for ideas given to others looking for better routines.
Hope today is easier for you :)

Krumbum · 09/05/2012 00:55

What so if someone finds home life stressful they should just get a job to run away from it? as some posters have suggested to the op. Some ppl want to look after their own children but it is still hard!

sleepysnail · 09/05/2012 01:22

I wish I could afford to stay at home with my baby but I'm forced back to work for financial reasons. I'd love to have your problems. I suppose the grass is always greener eh?

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