Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my dh is completely stupid.

32 replies

Gentleness · 05/05/2012 18:11

In some respects at least. In many others he is the kindest man alive. But then he does something so unutterably foolish I want to explode.

This lunchtime he made the food. He very kindly made me pasta as I was so hungry (early pg), brought it to me and then did the washing up. Sounds amazing yes? Just now I was sorting the laundry and he asked me what he should do with the leftover pasta. What? He brought me such a tiny portion and didn't mention there was any extra! I asked if it was in the fridge - no - out on the stove-top, heating on so really not safe to be standing around 5hrs. So he throws it away - enough to feed the whole family! Seriously! 4 portions of pasta just straight in the bin. Idiot. Just after a conversation about how I am trying to cut grocery costs.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/05/2012 18:13

People make mistakes...it doesn't make them idiots.

I doubt it would have been a problem feeding it to the family to be honest.

My Mum used to store everything on the stove top and we survived Grin

TartyMcFarty · 05/05/2012 18:15

Yep. My DH does this. He also plonks new salad bits into the fridge on top of old, if he puts the shopping away at all that is! Yesterday I had to fish a semi-liquid cucumber out of the tray then wash the whole bloody lot.

He's a gem in lots of ways though!

TartyMcFarty · 05/05/2012 18:18

Oh, and he opened the last of my posh soaps while there was still some of the last one left. I'd have bought some cheaper stuff at the supermarket the next day. Grr.

But I did put his suit trousers and best tie in the washing machine after he dumped them on the floor

Debeez · 05/05/2012 18:19

With Worra, to be fair you're both about to become parents. Get used to making mistakes and forgiving each other those mistakes. :o

my2centsis · 05/05/2012 18:20

Hmm I think yabu calling him completely stupid when he made he was tryna do the right thing and made a mistake.

Did u not go in the kitchen at all in that 5 hours a see it?

amillionyears · 05/05/2012 18:23

Has he lived on his own before and had to do this stuff before, or has someone else done it all for him. Buy him some sort of general housekeeping book/food book.

MadameChinLegs · 05/05/2012 18:24

Stupid is harsh. He was a bit daft, but then he made you a little meal and cleaned up. Also, when you finished, did you not take your plate back into the kitchen (to see if there was any more food seeing as you were still hungry) to be polite?

I don't like the word stupid used. But I suppose we all have different opinions on words.

Olympia2012 · 05/05/2012 18:24

Poor fella!

MadameChinLegs · 05/05/2012 18:24

Oh, and I would eat pasta that had been left out. Just nuke it to a good hot temperature.

Dropdeadfred · 05/05/2012 18:26

Wow I feel sorry for your dh to be honest

diddl · 05/05/2012 18:26

Well-he could have told you there was more, you could have asked!

What was in with the pasta that was left out?

That probably wouldn´t bother me at all.

I sometimes leave lunchtime stuff on the stove for people to reheat & eat later if they want.

DialsMavis · 05/05/2012 18:27

I would say you were the daft one for making him throw it away...

IAmBooyhoo · 05/05/2012 18:29

jeez i thought this was going to be something massive.

leaving pasta on the stove? er no. not stupid. forgetful yes but not stupid. i think you're going to have to loosen up heck of a lot if you are going to be raising a baby with him. people make mistakes. i feel sorry for him. did you tell him you think he's stupid?

DPrince · 05/05/2012 18:29

Yabu. Sorry but you are. You could have asked if there was anymore and I find it difficult to believe you didn't go in the kitchen for 5 hours. At all, not even to put your plate in the sink, or get a drink?

diddl · 05/05/2012 18:30

Yes-did you tell him to throw it away?

That was the daft thing-throwing away food that could have gone towards another meal.

outyougo · 05/05/2012 18:31

I would eat pasta that had been left out for 5 hours. What about pasta salad? What abut food at buffets? 5 hours is nothing. Its about the time a packed lunch is sitting around.

He is an idiot for having to ask you what to do with leftover pasta though.

Original poster
Gentleness · 05/05/2012 18:34

Ha - thanks to those who get it!

We're already parents and well-used to each other's mistakes - and I'm quite sure there are other factors involved in me feeling like this incident was so much the end of the world! On reflection stupid is harsh...

Sometimes though there is a little trail of such incidents throughout the week and when you are aching, weary, sick, exhausted, organising everything (including the finances that he never even looks at)... well, 5hr old pasta becomes the straw that breaks the shrew's back!

Dropdeadfred - you really don't need to worry about him - he has it made and knows it!

OP posts:
GetDownNesbitt · 05/05/2012 18:36

I would have eaten it. Maybe not if I was pregnant, but he could have eaten it.

Unless you live in the Eden Project, that is.

FoxyRoxy · 05/05/2012 18:36

You want to explode because he doesn't know how much pasta is in a portion? I think it might be pregnancy hormones rather than his "stupidity" that's making you feel so peed off.

Obviously I don't know what was in it but pasta is really, really cheap and he probably threw away 20p worth if that. Please don't sweat the small stuff he's clearly trying hard to "look after" you, cut him some slack.

Original poster
Gentleness · 05/05/2012 18:36

Oh and I think DialsMavis is probably right! Blush

Did me good to vent though...

OP posts:
Hullygully · 05/05/2012 18:36

kill him

he is discusting

IAmBooyhoo · 05/05/2012 18:39

Grin@ hully (as usual)

Dropdeadfred · 05/05/2012 18:51

Gentleness - phew I'll stop worrying then... Grin

iwannabewizbit · 05/05/2012 18:55

Atleast he tried! I'd have heated and eaten it anyway.

TidyDancer · 05/05/2012 19:01

It was a bit silly, but YABU to call him completely stupid. Maybe you should've said you were still hungry, or gone into the kitchen yourself to see what food there was.