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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In expecting those with children to use designated areas in gym changing room?

59 replies

Xenobia · 05/05/2012 16:56

I like some peace when using the gym and choose to use the (smaller) area of the changing room that is requested as child free. Today I summoned much courage to mention to a mother with a young child that she was in child free section and I received abuse and was dubbed a child hater. I wonder whether she would mind me swimming in baby pool or parking in mother and baby spaces? Am I wrong? Please tell me - I don't want to become an ageing misery! (I do have children but they are in their 20s)

OP posts:
BrianButterfield · 05/05/2012 17:01

Well, I would much rather take DS into an area that isn't child-free, as surely then everyone's much happier, so I think YANBU. Some places aren't meant for children, and that's fine by me. She was just a silly cow.

ThierryHenryismyBoyfriend · 05/05/2012 17:04

I think it depends on whether the other area was free or not. If it wasn't then I would go into an area designated 'child free' rather than just stand about. However if the children's area was free and the areas you were in was clearly marked as child free then YANBU.

P.S I presume the child was also being noisy!?

GateGipsy · 05/05/2012 17:05

YANBU if you were polite as the area is designated as child free. Although, to be honest I wouldn't have said anything unless the same person did it again. I know how frazzled you get as a parent, and how it can make you do stupid things/miss obvious things, and getting it pointed out to you can often be the last straw of a really fretful day/time. Behaviour is not always reasonable!

Debeez · 05/05/2012 17:06

Depends, if the child was being a pain, YANBU. If child was behaving self and not causing any fuss then YABU.

I take my child into non child friendly cafes and quiet carriages on the train and the like. He's a human being and we can do as we please as long as we don't bother others. If he were to behave inappropriately I'd take him out.

Sirzy · 05/05/2012 17:06

I don't know why parents do that if an area is child free there is a normally a reason for it.

Ds has just been in hospital and yet again parents failed to read the sign requesting children stayed out of the parents room.

ABatInBunkFive · 05/05/2012 17:08

The thing is parents ideas of innapropriate behaviour can differ hugely from people with no children, not everyone thinks Matildas incessant screeching singing is delightful.

YANBU OP

OnlyWantsOneTwoAndThree · 05/05/2012 17:09

YABU Hmm

Debeez · 05/05/2012 17:12

Agreed Abatinbunkfive in terms of the situation I described inappropriate for me means not behaving like an adult, sitting nicely, talking in quiet tones, being polite. My son knows if we wants to go nice places to eat he has to behave himself or I'll take him out. I wouldn't mess around with taking him out of somewhere as I'd hate to ruin someone else's day.

hermioneweasley · 05/05/2012 17:15

Funny, I was thinking about posting about kids free people using the 'with kids' area of the changing room at my gym. I don't know why you would want to- the lockers are smaller than the rest of the changing room and its full of harassed parents with kids, but today there were no less than 3 blessedly child free women rolling their eyes and saying 'excuse me' to get past as I was bending over to supervise DCS. On this basis YANBU.

Darkling · 05/05/2012 17:17

YANBU, if the area is supposed to be child free then the mother should have respected that policy when there is another area provided for those with children.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/05/2012 17:20

An area that is designated as child free is very different to a quiet carriage or a cafe that is not child-friendly, though Debeez. If a child behaves suitably in the quiet carriage or non-child friendly cafe , then they have the same right as anyone else to be there. But if an area is supposed to be free of children (or dogs or smokers or whatever) then they shouldn't be in that area.

Olympia2012 · 05/05/2012 17:22

Why are small children even in a gym?

yakbutter · 05/05/2012 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DPrince · 05/05/2012 17:24

Yanbu, gyms have child free areas for a reason. Some people do not want to be surrounded by kids. Which is absolutely a valid opinion. Some people think everyone should be happy to have kids around all the time.

mamalovesmojitos · 05/05/2012 17:24

YANBU

Debeez · 05/05/2012 17:25

I do get your point SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius. However sometimes I will do something like this as I don't want to be around other people's children Blush. I'm not a child lover by nature. Love my own and try to tolerate everyone elses. A room full of screaming kids excited for swimming running around sets my teeth on edge.

If my DS was well behaved and not causing any issue would you mind him being there? Is it about behavior or age? Honest question, no malice and I am aware of how hypocritical I'm being in a sense. If asked to leave I would without comment though.

colditz · 05/05/2012 17:27

YANBU. If I am in a child free area, I do not want to be around children. Yes they are human beings, but only bloody just, they frewuently behave like chimps, and it pisses me off.

mercibucket · 05/05/2012 17:27

Yanbu but probably being a bit unreasonable to point it out unless child was being a pain

Wrt hospital tho, sometimes it's the only time you get to see your other kids. We had to do ds2's bday cake (just singing, cutting cake then clearing off again) in parents room while ds1 was in hospital. I'd have been very upset if someone had found that out of order. It's hard enough when you can't go further than a few metres away just in case, without making things worse

mercibucket · 05/05/2012 17:27

Yanbu but probably being a bit unreasonable to point it out unless child was being a pain

Wrt hospital tho, sometimes it's the only time you get to see your other kids. We had to do ds2's bday cake (just singing, cutting cake then clearing off again) in parents room while ds1 was in hospital. I'd have been very upset if someone had found that out of order. It's hard enough when you can't go further than a few metres away just in case, without making things worse

Olympia2012 · 05/05/2012 17:28

Was it for swimming though? I'm confused.... Op says 'gym'

colditz · 05/05/2012 17:30

The problem with the term "well behaved" is that it's so damned subjective. I know a lot of people who claim they can take their children anywhere, and therefore do take them everywhere - much to the irritation of others, who then have to tolerate loud rude questions, rolling around on the floor, demands for crisps, small children intruding on personal space etc.

Unfortunately, some people think that if nobody is injured and nothing is broken, that's good behavior. Other people have much higher standards.

whomovedmychocolate · 05/05/2012 17:30

What sort of gym do you go to that does not have baby cages? Shock

Grin
DrCoconut · 05/05/2012 17:30

What about people without kids who use the (two) parent and child changing cubicles at our leisure centre because they are bigger, often meaning that people with babies and toddlers have to either stand and queue in their swimmies or wrestle their DC out of swim nappies etc in a space the size of a doormat with no changing table. Some people either with or without children are thoughtless and selfish and have no considerations for the comfort of others.

Olympia2012 · 05/05/2012 17:36

I know DrCoconut makes you wonder how our mums in the 60's,70's and even 80's coped without all these special things for 'children'!!

Debeez · 05/05/2012 17:39

Where's OP? I would love some context in regards to the child's behavior.