to send this text? Re party/drugs/baby/bathroom

[Newmummytobe79]

We're having a house party. Friends and family invited. We have a baby.

I have friends that take drugs occasionally, we don't (I wasn't an angel in my far off past so not judging ... too much) and I know that my friends will not bring any drugs to the party.

There are 1 or 2 that do it in the comfort of their own home but not whilst out with pals - you may think I'm being naive - but they are pretty upfront about the rare occasions they do dabble.

I have one friend who tells me she doesn't take cocaine any more - I know for a fact she does.

She is a lovely person but just gets very drunk and carried away sometimes.

AIBU to text her and say under no circumstances can she bring cocaine into my home, as she'll use it in the bathroom and of course we bath our baby there.

If she doesn't have it on her she'll be great, funny and a lovely person ... if she does she'll be a nightmare and just ... a pain in the arse. She thinks people can't tell when she's on it but it's obvious.

We don't have the not inviting her option and to be honest I do want her there.

Or do I just hope she uses her brain and doesn't bring anything?

Opinions please!

"everyone is very anti drugs whilst appear to be quite happy that all the adults present will be pissed out of their heads"

Not this reader.

did you know that when you flush whatever is in the loo jumps up to 6ft around the loo anyway (same when men pee as the lid is up) I would be cleaning it daily before bathing anyway.

I can't believe people are actually defending drug use in a house with children. I used to do such things, so not totally anti it. And I'm sorry it is way different to alcohol. Alcohol is legal, whether you like it or not. If something happened at the house like anaccident or something and either the police needed to be involved or someone needed to go to hospital, then a houseful of people off their faces on coke would set alarm bells ringing more than a few mildly tipsy people. And ime I can just get mildly tipsy and remain fairly in control and feel reasonably capable of looking after my dd next day. I would never have managed this on coke, most people end up off their faces not mildly high. I'm sorry but snorting coke off the end of a key in a family bathroom sounds skanky and wrong to me and I can totally understand why the op doesn't want that in her house with her dcs.

Perhaps you could suggest to your friends that they do their coke in the master bedroom so that your PFB will be safe from any particles lying dormant for a couple of days and then suddenly jumping up her nose?

You sound rather mental OP.

Ring and say, 'Sorry if this sounds uptight, but I'd rather not have drugs at the party - do you mind?' then she is forced to reply 'no'!

I wouldn't wade in sounding all serious like a teacher/drugs counsellor as she is an adult and can do what she wants (outside of your house).

I have to say, truthfully, I wouldn't say anything. Someone discreetly doing a line is not going to somehow infuse your baby with drugs. But I get that it matters to you.

But realhousewife - in the real world there are occassions where there are drugs around kids and you don't know or there's fuck all you can do about it - at weddings and new year's eve parties and 30ths and 40ths. It happens in most circles. There are always a couple of people at it.

Tip from a bouncer I knew - WD40 on all the flat surfaces. The coke turns into a foaming mess and is un-usable (and you'd know where to clean up!)

I've had coke in my younger days (a distant memory) and have been far more in control than when I've had too much booze. I'd hazard a guess most of the fights/anti social incidents in town centres every weekend can be a contributing factor of alcohol rather than cocaine use. But hey it's legal so it's all good hey.

Cant you send a group message,

"just a reminder to everyone, party starts at Xoclock, bring as much booze as you like but no drugs in my babies home, cheers guys, x"

Personally i think it depends on your relationship with your friends though, i would add something along the lines of "any of you dare to bring drugs into my babies home and i will be forced to remove your teeth :)" but we havethe kind of relationship where they would laugh as intended but not dare cross me

Yuk, what a skanky wedding if people are doing lines alongside children and people's grandparents. I'm sorry, but all the people I would invite to my wedding wouldn't do coke at a wedding. I went to an evening do once where everyone was doing coke. Thought it was pretty minding to be honest. Same as if I went to a house party where there were children present and people were doing it I would think it was pretty distasteful. I used to do coke and other things but sorry there is a difference to alcohol. Would you let your older teenage children have a sip of your wine at dinner or would you share a line with them? I know which one sounds abhorrent to me. If I had a friend who couldn't refrain for one night to respect my wishes and just have a drink instead, I'd be seriously worried about them. Stand your ground op, your house, and there is absolutely nothing weird or uptight about not wanting drugs in your children's home!

Minging, not minding.

I don't think the OP is being uptight, particularly - her house, her rules and all that. I just don't see why having a houseful of pissed up adults is so much better.

But it doesn't sound to me like people are planning to have a couple of drinks- people are saying bring as much booze into my precious babies home and get 'on it' as if being a pissed up fart is so much more desirable than ever using drugs. It's no different at all IMHO.

Exactly. And although I don't want to turn the the thread into a booze vs drugs debate - personally I don't see what's so different. In fact, I wouldn't like the idea of everyone pissed up around my baby. Somehow that comes across as far more acceptable though.

I don't drink, myself, I think it causes far more trouble than the odd spliff and/or social line of coke. But that's just my opinion.

I'd wd40 the surfaces and casually mention that your new friend who has a hush-hush job in the police will be there you could hint how uncomfortable being in the drug squad makes him in social situations.

Drugs (however one feels about them) are illegal, alcohol is not. For now, that should be the end of the argument.

It wasn't the legal aspect that the OP was worried about though, was it?

Your idea is a good one for the OP's situation though. That would curb any dodginess

Oh so that's the end of it because you say so Ruby? Wouldn't it solve many of the worlds problems if debates were solved that way.

Anti social behaviour which is often caused by excessive alcohol isn't legal though is it...just sayin'

Nope. I don't really care. But from a legal perspective drugs are a no-no, and alcohol is socially acceptable.

The OP didn't request my opinion on whether it was appropriate to drink in a house with a small child, so I didn't comment. I answered the question she asked.

But what if the law is wrong?

I used to be a drug user, gave up long before I had DC I would go mental if anyone used drugs in my home

I wouldnt invite her at all. If something bad does happen and you knew she was a user you could get child protection hassle from endangering your child. It really isnt worth the risk of that.

I don't think op is worried that the child is going to od from coke by bathing in a room where is was used. It's just the thought of it being in the room where the new, innocent perfect little thing is! I hope that makes sense?

You've had good advice op. I hope you have a good party, but from a child protectionstandpoint I'm hoping not everyone in the house is going to be hammered?