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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to send this text? Re party/drugs/baby/bathroom

75 replies

Newmummytobe79 · 04/05/2012 17:58

We're having a house party. Friends and family invited. We have a baby.

I have friends that take drugs occasionally, we don't (I wasn't an angel in my far off past so not judging ... too much) and I know that my friends will not bring any drugs to the party.

There are 1 or 2 that do it in the comfort of their own home but not whilst out with pals - you may think I'm being naive - but they are pretty upfront about the rare occasions they do dabble.

I have one friend who tells me she doesn't take cocaine any more - I know for a fact she does.

She is a lovely person but just gets very drunk and carried away sometimes.

AIBU to text her and say under no circumstances can she bring cocaine into my home, as she'll use it in the bathroom and of course we bath our baby there.

If she doesn't have it on her she'll be great, funny and a lovely person ... if she does she'll be a nightmare and just ... a pain in the arse. She thinks people can't tell when she's on it but it's obvious.

We don't have the not inviting her option and to be honest I do want her there.

Or do I just hope she uses her brain and doesn't bring anything?

Opinions please!

OP posts:

ninah · 04/05/2012 19:14

let me know if you'd like me to lick your cistern

JustFab · 04/05/2012 19:18

Don't put we can tell if you do!

samandi · 04/05/2012 19:26

I think the message proposed by DontmindifIdo or similar is perfectly acceptable. The baby and bath thing isn't completely insane but in reality the risk is very low.

Noqontrol · 04/05/2012 19:33

I think travelingwillbury has got a point tbh. Some of Dh's friends from the past has some little habits I don't approve of. We don't see them often and Dh still wants to stay friends with them. So I chuck them out in the garden to indulge in any little habits as I don't want it in the house. Don't know if that's an option for you or not.

CJ2010 · 04/05/2012 20:10

OP, just take a second to re read your post. How fucking sad is it that you have to worry about this? You should be looking forward to your baby's party, not having to worry about your friend snorting coke in your bathroom.

I really think its pathetic. If you are having these concerns, and fear she may lie to you anyway, just don't invite her. Time to put your family first, not your coke head mates.

chunkythighs · 04/05/2012 20:41

Emmmm....leave a can of WD40 in plain sight in the bathroom?

I remember reading somewhere that pubs spray WD40 on their toilet surfaces as it causes nosebleeds if cocaine is snorted off a surface that has been sprayed with WD40.

LeBOF · 04/05/2012 20:52

Why on earth would you want to give/imply you might give people a nosebleed?

travellingwilbury · 04/05/2012 20:54

Or you could go the whole hog and put signs up that any drug users caught would be prosecuted .

chunkythighs · 04/05/2012 21:02

Love the idea of 'Drug users could be prosecuted' sign. Could also go hand in hand with the CCTV placed there too. (for purposes of evidence).

Hey LeBOF, I'm fucked if I know but my friends and I outgrew all of that shit years ago- but my younger self would probably be capable of making my friends think twice if I wanted them to. (I'd probably bring up the WD40 nugget a couple of days before).

I am a little evil in my imagination

ThePathanKhansWitch · 04/05/2012 21:08

Arf @ ninah

NonAstemia · 04/05/2012 21:09

This all seems a bit bonkers to me, tbh. If this is just about a perceived risk to your DC then I think it barely exists - just sluice down the bathroom surfaces the following day if you're worried. If it's about a moral objection to the taking of coke, then don't invite people into your home who you know take coke. I don't really see the problem.

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 04/05/2012 21:13

Why is it insane for somebody to be concerned about someone taking drugs in the same bathroom they bathe their baby in? I had to take my daughter to a &e because I found her with an antidepressant capsule that a friend who had stayed for the weekend must have dropped. At least that was legal, and as it turns out not particularly harmful.

SpringHeeledJack · 04/05/2012 21:19

nonononono

don't text her. She'll get upset and you'll have much frostiness for ages

I'd just go for the Blinkered Approach iiwy. Your baby is not going to be at risk except of being woken up by lairy pissed adults IME

PatsysPyjamas · 04/05/2012 21:37

Can you find some light phrasing to your text that gets the point across while acknowledging that you were no angel in the past and you recognise your priorities have changed while your friends' have not? I would rather take the piss out of my own 'preciousness' (as they might perceive it) than upset a friend who I did actually want to come.

AberdeenAgnes · 04/05/2012 21:42

WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill Fri 04-May-12 18:41:22
So a possible minute trace of coke is a no no but people getting off their faces on the most legal high is fair game??

There was a though bouncing around in my addled head that I just couldn't quite articulate. And then Whale summed it up nicely.

TBH, if she denies taking it at all then what's to stop her agreeing not to bring any then taking it anyway? And you being none the wiser.

squeakytoy · 04/05/2012 21:46

You should be looking forward to your baby's party, not having to worry about your friend snorting coke in your bathroom

Op doesnt say it is a party for the baby, she just says it is a house party.

SerendipitousHarlot · 04/05/2012 21:51

I can't really offer advice on the question - I'm really not sure that a text is a good idea or not....

But the rest of it.... I agree with Whale. Always the same, these discussions, everyone is very anti drugs whilst appear to be quite happy that all the adults present will be pissed out of their heads

PatsysPyjamas · 04/05/2012 22:00

Tell you what, why doesn't she alienate everyone she knows by banning alcohol too?

maddening · 04/05/2012 22:04

apparently spraying wd40 on a surface just plays havoc with illicit substances (heard some clubs and pubs wiped it over the said surfaces like nacks of toilets as it dissolves the stuff on contact)

maddening · 04/05/2012 22:06

oops sorry it's been mentioned - should always read on haha

DialsMavis · 04/05/2012 22:08

I agree with NonAstemia, its either a moral issue or not

Bluegrass · 04/05/2012 22:18

Of course they might just dip a key in the bag and snort it off the end of that, in which case your surfaces will remain pristine! Then you will just have to put up with someone bright eyed and over talkative amongst all the bleary eyed, over loud and clumsy drunk friends!

PatsysPyjamas · 04/05/2012 22:27

Dials, it isn't a moral issue though. The OP has one friend who is 'bad' on drugs (and booze when she's high). It is specifically about her. She wants her friend to come to the party without drugs, because she can be out of control otherwise and OP doesn't want that with a baby in the house.

DialsMavis · 04/05/2012 22:33

Ahhh OK I got distracted by the bathroom worries. Surely if she is a good friend though you could just say " look, your a twat when you're high" and we don't want it in our house. I have always found that the people who love coke are the ones who really don't suit it personality wise. I am a very "each to their own" individual, (am terrible drunk, and have been told so by friends), but I would be concerned about someone who did it on their own, when no-one else was indulging.

PatsysPyjamas · 04/05/2012 22:44

At least, I'm assuming that's how OP meant it! I get the feeling since the friend denies doing coke and gets uppity about the suggestion, there is very little OP can say to her directly.

I know, OP! You can get another drug-taking friend to say to her, conspiratorially, 'We won't bring anything to OP's house now she has the baby. We'll have a proper night out sometime soon.'

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